奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声.docx
- 文档编号:9656952
- 上传时间:2023-02-05
- 格式:DOCX
- 页数:6
- 大小:19.76KB
奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声.docx
《奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声.docx》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声.docx(6页珍藏版)》请在冰豆网上搜索。
奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声
奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声
奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声
自爆齐刘海搞怪照
美国总统奥巴马4月27日晚上出席白宫记者协会晚宴,公布自己的齐刘海搞怪照片,爆猛料拿自己开涮。
晚宴上,奥巴马公布了一批修改的搞怪图片。
图片中,第一夫人米歇尔的齐刘海发型转移到了奥巴马脑门上。
奥巴马说,希望在第二届任期中做出改变,提升形象,不知道偷师米歇尔“换发型”算不算其中之一。
奥巴马当晚尺度大开,不断自嘲。
此前,他在复活节庆祝活动上,打篮球曾经22投2中,惨不忍睹的命中率是难得的笑料。
总统先生也大方的主动提起,博得在场各位一笑。
RemarksbyThePresidentatTheWhiteHouseCorrespondents'AssociationDinner英语演讲稿:
WashingtonHiltonHotel,Washington,D.C.
10:
14P.M.EDT
THEPRESIDENT:
Thankyou.(Applause.)Thankyou,everybody.(Laughter.)Howdoyoulikemynewentrancemusic?
(Applause.)RushLimbaughwarnedyouaboutthis--secondterm,baby.(Laughterandapplause.)We'rechangingthingsaroundherealittlebit.(Laughter.)
Actually,myadvisorswerealittleworriedaboutthenewrapentrancemusic.(Laughter.)Theyarealittlemoretraditional.TheysuggestedthatIshouldstartwithsomejokesatmyownexpense,justtakemyselfdownapeg.Iwaslike,guys,afterfourandahalfyears,howmanypegsarethereleft?
(Laughter.)
IwanttothanktheWhiteHouseCorrespondents.Ed,you'redoinganoutstandingjob.Wearegratefulfor--(applause)--thegreatworkyou'vedone.Toallthedignitarieswhoarehere,everybodyonthedais--IespeciallywanttosaythankyoutoRayOdierno,whodoesoutstandingserviceonbehalfofourcountry,andallourmenandwomeninuniformeverysingleday.(Applause.)
Andofcourse,ourextraordinaryFirstLady,MichelleObama.(Applause.)EverybodylovesMichelle.(Laughter.)She'sonthecoverofVogue,highpollnumbers.Butdon'tworry--Irecentlygotmyownmagazinecover.(Laughter.)
Now,look,Igetit.Thesedays,IlookinthemirrorandIhavetoadmit,I'mnotthestrappingyoungMuslimsocialistthatIusedtobe.(Laughter.)Timepasses.Yougetalittlegray.(Laughter.)
Andyet,evenafterallthistime,Istillmakerookiemistakes.Like,I'moutinCalifornia,we'reatafundraiser,we'rehavinganicetime.IhappentomentionthatKamalaHarrisisthebest-lookingattorneygeneralinthecountry.(Laughter.)Asyoumightimagine,IgottroublewhenIgotbackhome.(Laughter.)WhoknewEricHolderwassosensitive?
(Laughterandapplause.)
Andthenthere'stheEasterEggRoll,whichissupposedtobejustanice,funeventwiththekids.Igooutonthebasketballcourt,took22shots--madetwoofthem.(Laughter.)That'sright:
twohits,20misses.TheexecutivesatNBCasked,“What'syoursecret?
”(Laughterandapplause.)
So,yes,maybeIhavelostastep.Butsomethingsarebeyondmycontrol.Forexample,thiswholecontroversyaboutJaz-ZgoingtoCuba--it'sunbelievable.I'vegot99problemsandnowJay-Zisone.(Laughterandapplause.)That'sanotherrapreference,Bill.(Laughter.)I'llletyouknow.(Applause.)
Ofcourse,everybodyhasgotplentyofadvice.MaureenDowdsaidIcouldsolveallmyproblemsifIwerejustmorelikeMichaelDouglasin“TheAmericanPresident.”(Laughter.)AndIknowMichaelisheretonight.Michael,what'syoursecret,man?
(Laughter.)CoulditbethatyouwereanactorinanAaronSorkinliberalfantasy?
(Laughter.)Mightthathavesomethingtodowithit?
(Applause.)Idon'tknow.Checkinwithme.Maybeit'ssomethingelse.(Laughter.)
Anyway,Irecognizethatthisjobcantakeatollonyou.Iunderstand--secondterm,youneedaburstofnewenergy,trysomenewthings.AndmyteamandItalkedaboutit.Wewerewillingtotryanything.SoweborrowedoneofMichelle'stricks.(Laughterandapplause.)Ithoughtthislookedprettygood,butnobounce.(Laughter.)
Iwanttogiveashout-outtoourheadliner,ConanO'Brien.(Applause.)IwasjusttalkingtoEd,andIunderstandthatwhentheCorrespondents'AssociationwasconsideringConanforthisgig,theywerefacedwiththatage-olddilemma:
Doyouofferittohimnow,orwaitforfiveyearsandthengiveittoJimmyFallon?
(Laughter.)Thatwasalittleharsh.(Laughter.)IloveConan.
Andofcourse,theWhiteHousepresscorpsishere.IknowCNNhastakensomeknockslately,butthefactisIadmiretheircommitmenttocoverallsidesofastory,justincaseoneofthemhappenstobeaccurate.(Laughterandapplause.)
Someofmyformeradvisorshaveswitchedovertothedarkside.Forexample,DavidAxelrodnowworksforMSNBC,whichisanicechangeofpacesinceMSNBCusedtoworkforDavidAxelrod.(Laughter.)
TheHistoryChannelisnothere.IguesstheywereembarrassedaboutthewholeObama-is-a-devilthing.(Laughter.)Ofcourse,thatneverkeptFoxNewsfromshowingup.(Laughter.)Theyactuallythoughtthecomparisonwasnotfair--toSatan.(Laughterandapplause.)
Buttheproblemis,isthatthemedialandscapeischangingsorapidly.Youcan'tkeepupwithit.Imean,IrememberwhenBuzzFeedwasjustsomethingIdidincollegearound2:
00a.m.(Laughter.)It'strue.(Laughter.)
Recently,though,Ifoundanewfavoritesourceforpoliticalnews--theseguysaregreat.Ithinkeverybodyhereshouldcheckitout,theytellitlikeitis.It'scalledwhitehouse.gov.(Laughter.)Icannotgetenoughofit.
ThefactisIreallydorespectthepress.IrecognizethatthepressandIhavedifferentjobstodo.MyjobistobePresident;yourjobistokeepmehumble.Frankly,IthinkI'mdoingmyjobbetter.(Laughterandapplause.)
Butpartoftheproblemiseverybodyissocynical.Imean,we'reconstantlyfeedingcynicism,suspicion,conspiracies.Yourememberafewmonthsago,myadministrationputoutaphotographofmegoingskeetshootingatCampDavid?
Yourememberthat?
Andquiteanumberofpeopleinsistedthatthishadbeenphotoshopped.ButtonightIhavesomethingtoconfess:
Youwereright.Guys,canweshowthemtheactualphoto?
(Laughter.)Wewerejusttryingtotoneitdownalittlebit.(Laughter.)Thatwasanawesomeday.(Laughter.)
Thereareothernewplayersinthemedialandscapeaswell,likesuperPACs.DidyouknowthatSheldonAdelsonspent$100millionofhisownmoneylastyearonnegativeads?
You'vegottoreallydislikeme--(laughter)--tospendthatkindofmoney.Imean,that'sOprahmoney.(Laughter.)Youcouldbuyanislandandcallit“Nobama”forthatkindofmoney.(Laughter.)Sheldonwouldhavebeenbetteroffofferingme$100milliontodropoutoftherace.(Laughterandapplause.)Iprobablywouldn'thavetakenit,butI'dhavethoughtaboutit.(Laughter.)Michellewouldhavetakenit.(Laughter.)YouthinkI'mjoking?
(Laughter.)
IknowRepublicansarestillsortingoutwhathappenedin2012,butonethingtheyallagreeonistheyneedtodoabetterjobreachingouttominorities.Andlook,callmeself-centered,butIcanthinkofoneminoritytheycouldstartwith.(Laughter.)Hello?
Thinkofmeasatrialrun,youknow?
(Laughter.)Seehowitgoes.(Laughter.)
Iftheywon'tcometome,Iwillcometothem.Recently,Ihaddinner--it'sbeenwellpublicized--IhaddinnerwithanumberoftheRepublicansenators.AndI'lladmititwasn'teasy.Iproposedatoast--itdiedincommittee.(Laughter.)
Ofcourse,evenafterI'vedoneallthis,somefolksstilldon'tthinkIspendenoughtimewithCongress."Whydon'tyougetadrinkwithMitchMcConnell?
"theyask.Really?
(Laughter.)Whydon'tyougetadrinkwithMitchMcConnell?
(Laughterandapplause.)I'msorry.Igetfrustratedsometimes.
Iamnotgivingup.Infact,I'mtakingmycharmoffensiveontheroad--aTexasbarbequewithTedCruz,aKentuckybluegrassconcertwithRandPaul,andabook-burningwithMicheleBachmann.(Laughterandapplause.)
Mycharmoffensivehashelpedmelearnsomeinterestingthingsaboutwhat'sgoingoninCongress--itturnsout,absolutelynothing.(Laughter.)Butthepointofmycharmoffensiveissimple:
Weneedtomakeprogressonsomeimportantissues.Takethesequester.Republicansfellinlovewiththisthing,andnowtheycan'tstoptalkingabouthowmuchtheyhateit.It'slikewe'retrappedinaTaylorSwiftalbum.(Laughter.)
OnesenatorwhohasreachedacrosstheaislerecentlyisMarcoRubio,butIdon'tknowabout2016.Imean,theguyhasnotevenfinishedasingletermintheSenateandhethinkshe'sreadytobePresident.(Laughterandapplause.)Kidsthesedays.
I,ontheotherhand,haverunmylastcampaign.OnThursday,asEdmentioned,IwenttotheopeningoftheBushPresidentialLibraryinDallas.Itwasawonderfulevent,andthatinspiredmetogetstartedonmyownlegacy,whichwillactuallybeginbybuildinganotheredificerightnexttotheBushLibrary--canweshowthat,please?
(Laughter.)
I'malsohardatworkonplansfortheObamaLibrary.Andsomehavesuggestedthatweputitinmybirthplace,butI'dratherkeepitintheUnitedStates.(Laughter.)Didanybodynotseethatjokecoming?
(Laughter.)Showofhands.OnlyGallup?
MaybeDickMorris?
(Laughterandapplause.)
Now,speakingofpresidentsandtheirlegacies,Iwanttoacknowledgeawonderfulfriend,StevenSpielberg,andDanielDay-Lewis,whoareheretonight.(Applause.)Wehadascreeningoftheirmostrecentfilm,Lincoln,whichwasanextraordinaryfilm.Iamalittlenervous,though,aboutSteven'snextproject.Isawabehind-the-sceneslookonHBO--well,let'sjustcheckitout.Rollthetape.
(Videoisshown.)(Laughterandapplause.)
It'saremarkabletransformation.DoIreallysoundlikethat,though,honey?
(Laughter.)
GrouchoMarxoncesaid--and,SenatorCruz,that'sGrouchoMarx,notKarl.That'stheotherguy.(Laughter.)GrouchoMarxoncetoldanaudience,"BeforeIspeak,Ihavesomethingimportanttosay."(Laughter.)Andalongthosesamelines,Iwanttocloseonamoreseriousnote.
Obviously,therehasbeennoshortageofnewstocoveroverthesepastfewweeks.Andthesehavebeensomeveryharddaysfortoomanyofourcitizens.Evenaswegatherheretonight,ourthoughtsar
- 配套讲稿:
如PPT文件的首页显示word图标,表示该PPT已包含配套word讲稿。双击word图标可打开word文档。
- 特殊限制:
部分文档作品中含有的国旗、国徽等图片,仅作为作品整体效果示例展示,禁止商用。设计者仅对作品中独创性部分享有著作权。
- 关 键 词:
- 巴马 白宫 晚宴 幽默 演讲 上演 单口相声
![提示](https://static.bdocx.com/images/bang_tan.gif)