剧本.docx
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剧本.docx
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剧本
Iwouldn'tdothatifIwereyou.
Ilikeyourspirit,butdomeafavorandstandback.
That'smybiscuit.
Thatwould'vebeenashortassignment.
-Whereyougoing?
-HQain'ttraininghowtheyusedto.
-Whoexactlyareyou?
-Name'sButch.
Whatdumbnamedidthebipedssaddleyouwith?
Spot?
Fifi?
Rover?
-Lou.
-Godforbid.
Oh.Lou.Sorry.
Isthatboyalwaysgrumpy?
Theyshouldswitchhisfood.
Humanscangetalittleemotional.
You'llgetusedtoit.Comeon.
Where'sthatcomingfrom?
-Cool.
-What?
It'sstandardequipment.
Vid-phone,researcharchive
database,ciphercharts,Snausages.
-Hey,what'sthis?
-Heel!
Thebigbutton.
Youdon'tjustpressthebigbutton.
00:
15:
02,485-->00:
15:
03,814
-Jeez.
-Sorry.
Justtrytorememberyourtraining.
Let'sstart.Here'stheskinny:
Yournewmaster'sascientist...
...workingonacure
fordogallergies.
It'sbig.Ifnoone'sallergic
todogs,we'llhavetheadvantage.
Thiswasyourpredecessor:
Agent1364,AKABuddy.
Hewascatnapped.Wasn'tontop
ofhisgame,sohehadtoretire.
HegotacondoinBoca.Luckydog.
You'retoreplacehimandkeep
thecatsawayfromtheformula.
Can'tletthemnearthat.
Now,comeon.
Allright,agent,let'smeettheteam.
"Agent"!
Whoa!
Kid,lookoverthere.
-That'sPeek.
-Peek?
Idon'tgetit.
Peek,showyourself.
Wegotacalicoonthecorner
ofCenterandMain....
Oh,myGod!
Peek'searlywarning.
00:
16:
13,389-->00:
16:
17,968
He'sgotitall.Radar,sonar,
thermo-imaging,odor-matrixing...
...todetectanon-residentialcat
fromthreeblocksaway.
-Peek,fallin.
-Rogerthat.
-Sam,what'syour20?
-1/18ofaklickeast.
I'mgoingtobacktrackusing
adeltaapproachinthree...
...two...one.
Hey,guys.
Oh,no,notagain.
Whereaml?
Overhere,Sam.
Requestpermission
topantheavily,sir.
Granted.
-Boys,IwantyoutomeetLou.
-Hey,Louie.
-Hey,Lou.
-Human!
He'stakingBuddy'splace
inthehotseat.
Beingfreshfromtheacademy,he's
currentonthenewtechniques,right?
Youknowthisone?
Igotyou!
Oh,Ijustmissedyou.
HolyChihuahua.
-Howdidthishappen?
-Heslippedthrough.
Youpromisedmeapro!
Igetapuppy!
He'sstillgothisyou-know-whats!
There'snotime.Hestays.
Endofdiscussion.Out.
Sotellme,oneofyou...
...isthedogoutoftheway?
Didthepuppyfallformyclevertrap?
Noneofyouhaveataletotell?
Alittlestoryforme,perhaps?
You!
Tellme,isthegameafoot?
Yes?
-Whyisthegameafoot?
-Imean,no.
Excellent.Sothepuppyisdead.
Nowwecanmoveonto--
Wait,wait.
-CanIchangemyanswer?
-Isthepuppyaliveornot?
Anotherdogtoldhimitwasabomb.
Anotherdog?
Anyway,Iamsurewe'llgetintothe
basementlabjustfine.Right,guys?
-Guys!
-Oh,yeah,absolutely.
-Absolutely.
-See?
ProjectDarkCloudwillgo
withoutahitch.
DarkCloud?
lsthatwhatI'mcallingmyplan?
No,you'recallingit....
-HowaboutStorm?
-Storm.
DarkStorm,yes.
Likeapowerful,darkstorm,Iwill
makemypresenceknowntotheworld.
Likeaseepingmist,Iwillcreep
intothedogs'centerofpower...
...andmakethemquakeinfear
attheverymentionofmyname!
Mr.Tinkles!
-Hide!
-Quickly!
-Whereareyou?
-Quickly!
Thereyouare,Mr.Tinkles.
I'vebeenlookingeverywhereforyou.
Wherehaveyoubeen?
Mr.Masonwillbesopleased
toseeyou.
I'lltakeyoutohim.
You'reastinkykitty.
Firstyouhavetohaveabath.
Mr.Tinkles,remember
towashbehindtheears!
IfI'mgoingtobeasecretagent,
Ishouldhaveabettername.
Iwasthinking"TotalAnnihilation."
He'saprowrestler.
Thatname'staken.
Then"DoomMachine"itis.
Youcallyourself
SquickytheSpaceDogforallIcare.
Thatdon'tmakeyourbehindarocket.
Youarenotanagent,
butyouaregoingtohelpus.
Sofirstthingsfirst.
Kid,payattention.
History101:
Wehavealwaysbeenman'sbest
friend.Evenyouknowthat.
Butcats,they'reanotherstory.
-StartwithancientEgypt.
-We'veseenthat5billiontimes.
Nevermind.Sorry.Heregoes.
AncientEgypt.
Seethesehieroglyphics?
Humansthinkitsays
ancientpeopleworshipedcats.
Butinreality,
theywereruledbythem.
AnevilcatnamedShen-Akh-Akumonmade
thembuildpyramids,monuments.
Hetreatedthemlikethey
werehislitterbox.
-Thingswereterrible.
-Thisisthebestpart.
Sothedogs,
beingman'sbestfriend,roseup.
Andputthemdown.
Withhumansbackontop,wetook
ournaturalplaceattheirside.
Thepeoplejustforgot?
Remember,they'reaprimitivespecies.
Can'tsenseearthquakes,smellfear.
Theycan'teventake
responsibilityfortheirownfarts.
Gross.
Guilty.
I'llgetthefence.
That'showouroutfitgotstarted.
Sometimesacatgetstoobig
forhiscoatandtriestotakeover.
Wemustkeepcatsfromthelab
tilltheformula'sdone.
Yes,sir!
-Anythingweird,callus.
-Yes,sir!
-Anyquestions?
-Justone,sir.
-Shoot.
-What'sancientEgypt?
Freeze,cat.
I'managent.
I'msofast,Ican'tseemyself.
AgentDoomMachine.Youseethat?
Watchout,cat.
Icouldn'tevenseeit.
There'sagoodpuppy.Hello!
Don'tgetscared.Don'tgetscared.
Lookhowgoodyou'rebeing.
Lookhowgood--
Where'sthat--?
There.Igotit.
Thiswon'thurtabit.
Let'ssee.Let'ssee.
Hey,that'sgood.
-Hey,Dad!
-Boils.
Wanttohelpmepractice?
Iforgotyourbow.
Yourprettybow.
WhenIruletheEarth,
youwillbethefirst...
...onmylist.
Keepthehairdo.It'sslimming.
-There'sroomonthatlistforyou.
-No,Imeanit.
Weonlyhaveafewdays.
Althoughplayingpetforthatoldman
upstairsiskeytomyscheme...
...Icannotstandthishumiliation
anylonger.AmIclear?
Nevermind.Thepuppywon'tsurvive
thenight.Sendintheninjas.
-Nervousaboutthetryoutstomorrow?
-No.
-It'sokaytobenervous.
-I'mnotnervous.
Istink,butI'mnotnervous.
Ishesayingthatbecause
heneedsmetoreassurehim?
Yes.Reassurehim.
You'rethemostwonderful,
bright,charming,good-looking...
...boyinthewholewideworld.
-Maybeyourdadcouldhelpyou.
-I'mprettysurehestinkstoo.
I'mgonnatalktohim.
-Timeforbed.TVoff.Fiveminutes.
-Seven.
-Six.
-Deal.
-Loveyou.
-Iloveyoutoo.
Well?
Handitover.
What?
!
Nogravy?
Nexttimerememberthegravy.
Dogsrule.
Goingsomeplace?
Now,let'ssee.
Ooh,yeah.1409MapleTerrace.
Igothim.
Totalcovertoperation.
GottobelikeaStealth.
Hey,Sam.
Onmymark.Three,two,one.
Banzai!
Dogsmustdie!
Lou,it'sPeek.
Areyouthere?
It'sPeek.
-Lou!
-What?
What?
Where?
I'mpickingupafaintsignal.Maybe
it'saglitch.Youbettercheckit.
Okay.I'llgolook.
Becareful,kid.
I'managent.
I'masecretagent.
I'maone-dogarmy.
Turnover.
Bugactivated.
Peek?
Hello?
Peek?
Seemsclear.
Probablyjustasquirrel.
I'llletButchknow.
Behindyou!
Sorry!
-WhatdoIdo?
-Bitethem.
What?
JustdoasIsay.
Left!
Rightpaw!
Again!
Rollover!
That'sagooddoggy.Pawsup!
Donkeykick!
Comeon,kid,givethemthehaymaker!
Ichangedmymind.
CallmetheClawofLingChow!
LingChowthis!
Cleanuponaisle7.
-Humans!
-Retreatwithhonor.
Ihaveabat.
Ihaveamitt,
andI'mnotafraidtouseit.
Baddog.
You'reluckyyou'resocute.
-DoomMachine.
-Hey,guys.
-You'restillalive.
-Yep.Allfivelimbs.
Youowemefivesmokedpigears.
You'restillstanding.Youokay?
Didyouseeme?
Right,leftandrightandleft--
Yougotcocky.
Youthinkthisisagame?
Thisisn'taboutcodenames,
boysorfriends.
It'saboutguardingthatlab.
Nothingelse.
Sam,Peek,sealthechimney.
-Right,boss.
-Yougotit,skip.
Cats.
Don'ttheyeverquit?
CanIshowyousomething?
TheBrodyshavethebestgarbage.
-Goon.Takeabite.
-Oh,my.
Thisiswhattheygettoeat?
Whatagyp.
I'mgladyoulikedit.
-IthoughtIwasastraytoolong.
-Stray?
Cool.
-I'venevermetastray.
-Iprefer"domesticallychallenged."
MissChallenged,sorry,
butyougottaleave.
-Myordersareclear.Ican't--
-Orders?
-That'sright.I'masecretagent.
-Anagent?
You'resmallforanagent.
Shouldn'tyoubehavingfun?
Idon'thavetime.
Toughguy.
Stopwiththeagentstuff.Okay?
Youhaveyourownkidtoplaywith.
Don'ttakeitforgranted.
Whereyougoing?
Couldyoudothatagain?
Nexttimehetalkstoyou,
tiltyourheadandperkyourears.
You'llseewhatI'mtalkingabout.
Anddomeafavor.
TellButchlvy'sbackintown.
Whatareyoulookingat?
Well,Iguessyou'rekindofcute.
Lookwhoitis.Igotyou.
LastnightyourmotherandI
hadaconversation...
...thatmademethinkthatmaybe...
..youandIshouldtalk...
...aboutyouandme
andmybigproject.
Youwanttositdown?
Oh,yeah.Sure,sure.
Yourmommademethinkthat....
Well,I'mcomingtoyour
soccertryoutthisafternoon.
Youdon'thaveto.
But....
-HereIcome.
-Really?
-Oh,good.Cool.Cool.
-Cool.
Youdon'twanttobelateforschool.
Yeah,Iam.
-Seeyou,Dad.
-Seeyou.
Go,go,go!
I'llbecheeringforyou!
Ourteamisred-hot
Yourteamain'tdoodly-squat
Istunk.Worsethanstunk.
Scotty?
Haveyouseen
thislittle--Tryouts!
Wow.Hereallydoesstink.
Guessitdidn'tgosowell,huh?
Whatdidthecoachsay?
Hesaidtryoutsfor
thegirls'teamareonMonday.
Whataboutyourfather?
-Soccer.
-I'minthemiddle--
-Soccer.
-No,thankyou.Imustget--
Soccer.
-Iforgot.Ihadabreakthrough--
-Iknowyou'rebusy....
Heisyourson.
Iwasinthemiddle--
Ihadabreakthrough.
Iknow.Iknow.I'msorry.
Goodboy.
-Abeautifulsight.
-Yousaidwewouldn'ttalkagain.
-NowIhaveareason.
-Sparemethelecture.
He'sapuppy.Hedoesn't
knowwhathe'sgettinginto.
Forgivemefor
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