I am 28 now.docx
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I am 28 now.docx
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Iam28now
Iam28now.Idon’tthinkaboutthepastorregretthingsmuchthesedays.
ButsometimesIwishthatIhadknownsomeofthingsIhavelearnedoverthelastfewyearsabitearlier.Thatperhapstherehadbeenaself-improvementclassinschool.Andinsomewaysthereprobablywas.
Becausesomeofthese16thingsinthisarticleateacherprobablyspokeaboutinclass.ButIforgotaboutthemordidn’tpayattention.
Someofitwouldprobablynothavestuckinmymindanyway.Orjustbeentoofaroutsidemyrealityatthetimeformetoacceptanduse.
ButIstillthinkthattakingafewhoursfromallthoseGermanlanguageclassesandusethemforsomepersonaldevelopmentclasseswouldhavebeenagoodidea.Perhapsforjustanhouraweekinhighschool.Itwouldprobablybeusefulformanystudentsandonalargerscalequitehelpfulforsocietyingeneral.
Sohereare16thingsIwishtheyhadtaughtmeinschool(orIjustwouldliketohaveknownaboutearlier).
1.The80/20rule.
Thisisoneofthebestwaystomakebetteruseofyourtime.The80/20rule–alsoknownasTheParetoPrinciple–basicallysaysthat80percentofthevalueyouwillreceivewillcomefrom20percentofyouractivities.
Soalotofwhatyoudoisprobablynotasusefulorevennecessarytodoasyoumaythink.
Youcanjustdrop–orvastlydecreasethetimeyouspendon–awholebunchofthings.
Andifyoudothatyouwillhavemoretimeandenergytospendonthosethingsthatreallybringsyourvalue,happiness,fulfilmentandsoon.
2.Parkinson’sLaw.
Youcandothingsquickerthanyouthink.Thislawsaysthatataskwillexpandintimeandseemingcomplexitydependingonthetimeyousetasideforit.Forinstance,ifyousaytoyourselfthatyou’llcomeupwithasolutionwithinaweekthentheproblemwillseemtogrowmoredifficultandyou’llspendmoreandmoretimetryingtocomeupwithasolution.
Sofocusyourtimeonfindingsolutions.Thenjustgiveyourselfanhour(insteadofthewholeday)ortheday(insteadofthewholeweek)tosolvetheproblem.Thiswillforceyourmindtofocusonsolutionsandaction.
Theresultmaynotbeexactlyasperfectasifyouhadspentaweekonthetask,butasmentionedinthepreviouspoint,80percentofthevaluewillcomefrom20percentoftheactivitiesanyway.Oryoumaywindupwithabetterresultbecauseyouhaven’tovercomplicatedoroverpolishedthings.Thiswillhelpyoutogetthingsdonefaster,toimproveyourabilitytofocusandgiveyoumorefreetimewhereyoucantotallyfocusonwhat’sinfrontofyouinsteadofhavingsomeloomingtaskcreatingstressinthebackofyourmind.
3.Batching.
Boringorroutinetaskscancreatealotofprocrastinationandlow-levelanxiety.Onegoodwaytogetthesethingsdonequicklyistobatchthem.Thismeansthatyoudothemallinrow.Youwillbeabletodothemquickerbecausethereisless“start-uptime”comparedtoifyouspreadthemout.Andwhenyouarebatchingyoubecomefullyengagedinthetasksandmorefocused.
Abatchofthingstodoinanhourtodaymaylooklikethis:
Cleanyourdesk/answertoday’semails/dothedishes/makethreecalls/writeagroceryshoppinglistfortomorrow.
4.First,givevalue.Then,getvalue.Nottheotherwayaround.
Thisisabitofacounter-intuitivething.Thereisoftenanideathatsomeoneshouldgiveussomethingordosomethingforusbeforewegiveback.Theproblemisjustthatalotofpeoplethinkthatway.Andsofarlessthanpossibleisgiveneitherway.
Ifyouwanttoincreasethevalueyoureceive(money,love,kindness,opportunitiesetc.)youhavetoincreasethevalueyougive.Becauseovertimeyouprettymuchgetwhatyougive.Itwouldperhapsbenicetogetsomethingfornothing.Butthatseldomhappens.
5.Beproactive.Notreactive.
Thisonetiesintothelastpoint.Ifeveryoneisreactivethenverylittlewillgetdone.Youcouldsitandwaitandhopeforsomeoneelsetodosomething.Andthathappensprettyoften,butitcantakealotoftimebeforeithappens.
Amoreusefulandbeneficialwayistobeproactive,tosimplybetheonetotakethefirstpracticalactionandgettheballrolling.Thisnotonlysavesyoualotofwaiting,butisalsomorepleasurablesinceyoufeellikeyouhavethepoweroveryourlife.Insteadoffeelinglikeyouarerunbyabunchofrandomoutsideforces.
6.Mistakesandfailuresaregood.
Whenyouareyoungyoujusttrythingsandfailuntilyoulearn.Asyougrowabitolder,youlearnfrom-forexample-schooltonotmakemistakes.Andyoutrylessandlessthings.
Thismaycauseyoutostopbeingproactiveandtofallintoahabitofbeingreactive,ofwaitingforsomeoneelsetodosomething.Imean,whatifyouactuallytriedsomethingandfailed?
Perhapspeoplewouldlaughatyou?
Perhapstheywould.Butwhenyouexperiencethatyousoonrealizethatitisseldomtheendoftheworld.Andalotofthetimepeopledon’tcarethatmuch.Theyhavetheirownchallengesandlivestoworryabout.
Andsuccessinlifeoftencomesfromnotgivingupdespitemistakesandfailure.Itcomesfrombeingpersistent.
Whenyoufirstlearntorideyourbikeyoumayfalloverandover.Bruiseakneeandcryabit.Butyougetup,brushyourselfoffandgetonthesaddleagain.Andeventuallyyoulearnhowtorideabike.Ifyoucanjustreconnecttoyour5yearoldselfanddothingsthatway-insteadofgivingupafteratry/failureortwoasgrown-upsoftendo–youwouldprobablyexperiencealotmoreinterestingthings,learnvaluablelessonsandhavequiteabitmoresuccess.
7.Don’tbeatyourselfup.
Whydopeoplegiveupafterjustfewmistakesorfailures?
Well,Ithinkonebigreasonisbecausetheybeatthemselvesupwaytoomuch.Butit’sakindapointlesshabit.Itonlycreatesadditionalandunnecessarypaininsideyouandwastesyourprecioustime.It’sbesttotrytodropthishabitasmuchasyoucan.
8.Assumerapport.
Meetingnewpeopleisfun.Butitcanalsoinducenervousness.Weallwanttomakeagoodfirstimpressionandnotgetstuckinanawkwardconversation.
ThebestwaytodothisthatIhavefoundsofaristoassumerapport.Thismeansthatyousimplypretendthatyouaremeetingoneofyourbestfriends.Thenyoustarttheinteractioninthatframeofmindinsteadofthenervousone.
Thisworkssurprisinglywell.YoucanreadmoreaboutitinHowtoHaveLessAwkwardConversations:
AssumingRapport.
9.Useyourreticularactivationsystemtoyouradvantage.
Ilearnedabouttheorgansandtheinnerworkingsofthebodyinclassbutnobodytoldmeaboutthereticularactivationsystem.Andthat’sashame,becausethisisoneofthemostpowerfulthingsyoucanlearnabout.Whatthisfocussystem,thisR.A.S,inyourminddoesistoallowyoutoseeinyoursurroundingswhatyoufocusyourthoughtson.Itprettymuchalwayshelpsyoutofindwhatyouarelookingfor.
Soyoureallyneedtofocusonwhatyouwant,notonwhatyoudon’twant.Andkeepthatfocussteady.
Settinggoalsandreviewingthemfrequentlyisonewaytokeepyourfocusonwhat’simportantandtohelpyoutakeactionthatwillmoveyourclosertotowardwhereyouwanttogo.Anotherwayisjusttouseexternalreminderssuchaspiecesofpaperwhereyoucan,forinstance,writedownafewthingsfromthispostlike“Givevalue”or“Assumerapport”.Andthenyoucanputthosepiecesofpaperonyourfridge,bathroommirroretc.
10.Yourattitudechangesyourreality.
Wehaveallheardthatyoushouldkeepapositiveattitudeorperhapsthat“youneedtochangeyourattitude!
”.ThatisanicepieceofadviceIsuppose,butwithoutanymorereasonstodoitisveryeasytojustbrushsuchsuggestionsoffandcontinueusingyouroldattitude.
ButthethingthatI’vediscoveredthelastfewyearsisthatifyouchangeyourattitude,youactuallychangeyourreality.Whenyouforinstanceuseapositiveattitudeinsteadofanegativeoneyoustarttoseethingsandviewpointsthatwereinvisibletoyoubefore.Youmaythinktoyourself“whyhaven’tIthoughtaboutthingsthiswaybefore?
”.
Whenyouchangeyouattitudeyouchangewhatyoufocuson.Andallthingsinyourworldcannowbeseeninadifferentlight.
ThisisofcourseverysimilartotheprevioustipbutIwantedtogivethisonesomespace.Becausechangingyourattitudecancreateaninsanechangeinyourworld.Itmightnotlooklikeitifyoujustthinkaboutitthough.Pessimismmightseemlikerealism.ButthatismostlybecauseyourR.A.Sistunedintoseeingallthenegativethingsyouwanttosee.Andthatmakesyou“right”alotofthetime.Andperhapsthatiswhatyouwant.Ontheotherhand,therearemorefunthingsthanbeingrightallthetime.
Ifyoutrychangingyourattitudeforreal–insteadofanalysingsuchaconceptinyourmind-you’llbesurprised.
YoumaywanttoreadmoreaboutthistopicinTakethePositivityChallenge!
11.Gratitudeisasimplewaytomakeyourselffeelhappy.
Sure,IwasprobablytoldthatIshouldbegrateful.PerhapsbecauseitwastherightthingtodoorjustsomethingIshoulddo.ButifsomeonehadsaidthatfeelinggratefulaboutthingsforminuteortwoisagreatwaytoturnanegativemoodintoahappyoneIwouldprobablyhavepractisedgratitudemore.Itisalsoagoodtoolforkeepingyourattitudeupandfocusingontherightthings.Andtomakeotherpeoplehappy.Whichtendstomakeyouevenhappier,sinceemotionsarecontagious.
12.Don’tcompareyourselftoothers.
Theegowantstocompare.Itwantstofindreasonsforyoutofeelgoodaboutyourself(“I’vegotanewbike!
”).Butbydoingthatitalsobecomesveryhardtonotcompareyourselftootherswhohavemorethanyou(“Ohno,Billhasboughtanevennicerbike!
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