上海高三英语一模作文范文汇编.docx
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上海高三英语一模作文范文汇编.docx
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上海高三英语一模作文范文汇编
2018年高三一模作文汇编
1.黄浦区
2017年已接近尾声,还记得年初你为自己定下的小目标吗?
不知你是否实现了你的小目标?
发一个微信朋友圈来回顾一下吧(文中请不要出现真实的校名人名)。
你的朋友圈文字内容需包括:
1.你的2017年度小目标;
2.你为实现年度小目标所作的努力;
3.你实现(或没有实现)年度小目标的经验总结。
范文:
Mynewyear’sresolutionfor2017was thatIshouldbeable tocommunicatewith foreign people inEnglish.To achievethisgoal,Ihadaskedmy Englishteacherforhelp.According to hersuggestions,I madeup aplan.
Firstly, Istarted withsimplyreadingEnglish articles andfoundmany pronunciation errorsin myreading afterlisteningtothevideotapeof its recording. Then,Itried tolearnphoneticsandpracticeonesyllableafteranotheragainandagain.Istarted withasingle word,then aphrase,a sentence,a paragraphandfinally thewholepassage.After3-month practice,Iwas able toreadanarticlefluently withoutmakinganymistakesinpronunciation.I felthappy.Next, Ipracticedmylistening.Bylisteningtoapassagefourtimes,Irequiredmyselfto takeitdownwithoutspellingerrors orany informationblank.Lastbutnot least,Iinstalledanapp called ShanbeiOralEnglishonmyphonetopracticebothmy listeningand speaking. It’slikehavingconversationswitharobot. Ihadtounderstandwhatitsaidtomeandansweritsquestions accordingly.After practicingforalmost8 months,I hadmyfirst talkingsessionwithanAmericanteacherinourschool. Iwas proudofmyself.
WhatIhave learntfromthis experienceissomethingasasayinggoes:
no pain no gain.Though theprocessoflearningcouldbedull andtiring, it’sworthall theeffortsafterIachievedmygoal.EvenifIdidn’t,it’sstillavaluable partof mylife.
阅卷作文
8+8+4=20
Thewonderfulyearof2017 isdrawingto anend.Iremember thatIsetanannual goaltokeepfitatthebeginning of2017,sincestayinghealthyiscrucialtoensuringmystudy, thusbetterpreparemyselfforGaokao.
Toachievemygoal ofkeepingfit,herearesome effortsI’vetakenthroughouttheyear. On theveryfirstdayof2017,Idownloaded afitnessappcalled Keep.Followingthefitnessinstructionstheapp offered, IexercisedeveryothernightbeforeIgotobed.Also,Ididsomeresearchintothe dailynutritionI needinordertostayhealthybothphysically andmentally,after whichIdevisedamoderatedietingplan. Apartfrom theabove, I’veinvited familymembers andfriends tojoinmeso thatwe can encourageeach otherand exchangefitnessexperience.
So far,therecordshownonmy fitnessappshowsthat I’vedonewellthisyear, reachinga recordhighof200trainingtimes intotal. AlthoughattimesI felt likegiving upbecauseoftoomuchstudypressureandlimitedtime,I’m glad Ihavestuck tomy plan.Itseems to methatanythingispossibleifI throw inall ofmyenergyand passion,andmostofall, perseverance.Somerulesapply tostudy.SoIhopeI willkeepsuch passion andstrengthtodomybestin thecoming2018.(237words)
点评:
1.文本结构段落清晰,符合作文题目要求。
1)第一段明确告知自己的年度小目标是什么;
2)第二段有总起句,段落中有清晰的标记词(如also,apartfrom)告知读者自己所做的努力,且努力的行为都非常具体。
3)第三段对经验的总结可以再和第二段的三个努力匹配些,a.借助科技的力量(app);b. 借助科学的力量(didresearchintothedailynutrition);c. 组团抗击惰性。
2.在语言表达能力比较强的基础上,可以考虑文字的进一步精炼。
是否有“废话”?
字数建议不超过200(此学生语言能力强,中等学生160左右即可)。
精练而准确的表达也是思维和表达功力的体现。
7+8+4=19
Greetingfromthe endof2017!
It’snowthetimeto concludeouryearlygoalsagain.Onthenewyear’seve,Isetuptwogoalsfor theyear:
togetter bettergrades andtoloseweightand I’m proud toannouncethatI’veaccomplished thefirstone.
Torealizethegoals,muchefforthasbeenput inthroughouttheyear.Firstofall,Ichanged myattitudestowardsvarious subjects.I’vespentmoretime onthem, asyoumightalreadyknow,andtrytofind myown strengthandweaknessesand strivedhardtoovercomemyweakpoints.Inaddition, I’vefound myownpaceofstudying,whichIregardasthemostpreciousrewardof thisyear’s effort. Secondly,I beganto takeamoreactive part insportsthisyear. Itook everyopportunityI havetoexercise,andtakesportslessonsatagymnearmyapartment.ThoughIhaven’tlosemuch weight,Ifeelmyselfmuchhealthier thaneverbefore.
ToconcludehowI’vemade theseprogress,here comesmyyearsmotto:
no pains, nogains. Nomatter howharditmightbe,stick to thegoalandneverquit,andnever dream of shortcutstosuccess.So ifyouwant to achievesomething,just tryhard,nomatterwhat theresultmightbe,you’resurelygoingtobenefitfromtheprocess. Good luckeveryone,andIwishyoua happy,successfulnew yearin2018!
(241words)
点评:
1,有读者意识,明确知晓是在朋友圈发的年度总结,所以开头结尾很应景。
2,段落结构总体比较清晰,符合作文题目要求。
1)第一段告知了自己的两个年度目标。
2)第二段中有总体句、标记词(如:
firstofall,in addition),方便读者阅读。
但总体表达都比较含糊,建议可以更加清晰化具体化(改变的行为不具体是因为目标不具体导致的);特别是第二点,如果学生把目标定位,今年我要参加多少节健身课,或者我要完成多少公里的跑步,那么行为可以更具体,对是否可以达到自己年度目标的检测也可以更明确。
3)第三段的经验总结与之前努力的匹配度不高。
如果要写nopains,nogains,那么第二段里应该有具体的自己在遭遇瓶颈或者难以坚持的时候是如何咬牙坚持下来的。
4)Goodluck建议可以另起一段。
3,文本字数偏长。
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