绝望的主妇剧本.docx
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绝望的主妇剧本.docx
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绝望的主妇剧本
Episode01.16-TheLadiesWhoLunch
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MaryAliceVoiceoverreviouslyonDesperateHousewives:
Rex:
Hey,Maisy.
Bree:
Areyouhavinganaffairwithmyhusband?
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Mistresseswereconfronted.
Carlos:
Verygoodtobeback.
Gabrielle:
What'sthat?
Carlos:
I'monhousearrest.It'saconditionofmybail.
Gabrielle:
Howwillyouwork?
Carlos:
Ican't.Ican'tdoanything.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Thetableswereturned,
Feliciaord,that'sAngela.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
andsecretsfromthepast...
Paul:
I'mafraidyou'remistaken.Mywife'snamewasMaryAlice.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
...caughtupwitheveryone.
Susan:
I'msuchanidiot!
Andyou'resuchaliar!
Oh,andapparentlyakiller!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Throughouteventhemostrespectableofneighborhoods,youcanhearthesoundofscandal..."
(IdaGreenbergpicksupanewspaperfromafrontwalkandlooksaroundguiltily.ThenshesneaksquicklybacktoherownhousewhileBreecomesoutherhouse,holdingacoffeecup.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Somescandalsannouncethemselveswithashout..."
Bree:
"Ida!
IdaGreenberg,thatisnotyourpaper!
"
(CuttoTomsigningapaperonaclipboardwhileacableguystandsnexttohim.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Somewithawhisper..."
CableGuy:
"Throwmea$20,andI'llhookyouupwithfreeporn."
(Tomglancesbackatthehouse,thenlooksatthecableguy.)
(Cuttokidstoilet-paperingahouse.They'vecoverednearlytheentirefrontofthehousewhenamancomesoutsideholdingashotgun.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Andsomewithbang."
Man:
"Getthehelloffmylawn!
"
(Heshootsthegunupintotheairasthekidsscatter.)
(CuttoMaisyGibbons'house.Wearingsexylingerie,sheleadsagray-hairedmanupthestairsandintothebedroom.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Andonceinagreatwhile,therecomesascandalsodeliciouslysordid,itsroardrownsoutallothernoise."
Man:
"Soyourhusband--doeshehaveanyideahowmanymenpayfortheprivilegeofsleepinginthisbed?
"
(Hehandshersomemoneyandshetucksitawayintoasmallboxbythebed.)
Maisy:
"There'snotalotofsleepinggoingon-notifI'mdoingmyjobright.Sohowdoyouwanttogetstarted?
"
(Hepullsouthandcuffsandholdsthemup.)
Man:
"Withthese."
Maisy:
"Well!
That'sgoingtocostyouextra."
Man:
"MaisyGibbons,you'reunderarrestforsolicitation."
Maisy:
"What?
"
Man:
"leaseturnandplaceyourhandsonthebed."
Maisy:
"I'msorry.I'm--I'mgoingtohavetoaskyoutoleave.Now."
(Hegrabsherandforcesherfacedownonthebed,puttingthehandcuffsonher.)
Maisy:
"Hey!
Aah!
Yougetoffme!
"
(ThemanleadsMaisyoutside,whereahandfulofcopswaitbyacoupleofsquadcars.)
Maisy:
"Thisisentrapment."
Man:
"Right."
Maisy:
"Youallaremakingagiganticmistake."
Man:
"Yeah,yeah.Hey,fellas,here'soneforyourmemoirs."
(Maisybreaksawayfromhimandbeginsrunningdownthesidewalk.Thecopschaseafterherandwhenshetripsandfallsonherface,theypickherup,holdingheroffofthegroundasshescreamsandshoutsatthem.Neighborsstandaround,watching.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Yes,thescandalousarrestofMaisyGibbonswouldsoonprovetobetheshotheard'roundtheworld."
(Oneoftheneighborswatchingpullsouthercellphoneandflipsitopen.)
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Credits
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(Maisyisforcedintothebackofacopcarandthecopsgetintothefrontseat.Shestaresoutthewindow.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
"Itisoftensaidthatgoodnewstravelsfast,butaseveryhousewifeknows,badnewsmovesquiteabitfaster."
(Thewomanwhopulledouthercellphoneearlierdialsanumber.)
Woman:
"Tisha?
Hey.Youarenotgoingtobelievethis.MaisyGibbonswasarrested."
Tisha:
"Youcannotbeserious."
(Thenewstravelsveryquicklythroughouttheneighborhood.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[BarcliffAcademy]
(Thecrossingguardwalksdistractedlyacrossthestreet,onhercellphone.)
CrossingGuard:
"MaisyGibbonsrunninginhandcuffs?
I'd'vekilledtoseethat!
"
(ShewalkspastLynette'scar.LynetteturnstoParker,sittinginthebackseat.)
Lynette:
"I'llberightback."
(Shewalksuptothefrontoftheschool,wheresomemothersarestandingandaschoolofficialistalkingtothem.)
HeadmasterLenz:
"Ladies,pleasecalmdown,ma'am.Thisisjustaprecaution.Ifyou'lljusttakeaflyer..."
(Lynettewalksuptotwootherwomen,TammyandMona.)
Lynette:
"Hey,guys.What'sgoingon?
"
Tammy:
"Oh,there'sbeenanoutbreakofheadlice."
Lynette:
"Headlice."
HeadmasterLenz:
"Theseflyersdetailalltheimportantinformationconcerningthesituation,includingtherecommendeddelousingcombs."
Tammy:
"Delousing?
Dotheyhavetomakeitsoundsodisgusting?
"
Mona:
"Doesanybodyknowwhereitstarted?
"
HeadmasterLenz:
"I'msorry.That'sconfidentialinformation.Barcliffmaintainsastrictno-blamepolicy."
(PrestonandPorterwalkoutoftheschoolandLynettewavestothem.)
Lynette:
"Hey,guys,overhere."
Mona:
"Ithinkparentshavearighttoknowwhobroughtthisintoourschool."
(Astheboyswalktowardher,theybothbeginscratchingtheirheads.)
HeadmasterLenz:
"leasecalmdown,ma'am.Ourpositionisthatthere'snothingtobegainedbypointingfingers."
(TammynoticesLynette'sintensegazeatherchildrenandturnstoseewhatshe'slookingat.)
HeadmasterLenz:
"Toidentifythechildwhoinitiatedtheoutbreakmightresultinhimorherbeingsubjectedtoridicule."
(TammyseesthetwinsscratchingandturnsameaningfulgazeontoMona,whocatchessightofthemaswell.Lynette,distracted,keepshereyesonherboys.)
Lynette:
"I,um,excuseme."
HeadmasterLenz:
"Ifyou'lljusttakeaflyer..."
Lynette:
"Stopscratching.Stopscratching.Now,now,stopit.Guys,let'sgo,okay?
Stopscratching.Imeanit.Stop,stop."
Lynette:
"Hey.Seeyoulater."
TammyandMona:
"Bye."
(TheywatchLynetteandherboyswalkawayfromthem.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gabrielle'sHouse]
(GabrielleisintheshowerwhenCarloswalksintothebathroom.Hesipsfromacupofcoffeeandlooksdownatthesink,whichisslowlyfillingup,fromthedrain,withbrown-coloredliquid.)
Carlos:
"Whatthehell?
Gabrielle!
"
Gabrielle:
"What?
"
Carlos:
"Hey,Gabrielle!
Ithinkwegotaproblemhere!
"
Gabrielle:
"Ican'thearyou!
"
Carlos:
"Isaid,Ithinkwegotaproblem!
Thewater'sbackinguphere!
"
Gabrielle:
"What?
"
Carlos(tohimself):
"Isthatsewage?
"
(Gabriellestartsscreamingfromtheshower.)
Carlos:
"Yeah,that'ssewage."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CarlosandGabriellestandnexttoalargeholethatMikedugintheirfrontyard.Mikestandsinthehole.]
Gabrielle:
"So,uh,Mike.Thesuspenseiskillingus.Whydon'tyoujusttellusthebadnews?
"
Mike:
"Well,yourouttakepipe'scompletelycorroded.That'swhyitcollapsed.I'mgonnahavetotearitoutandrepipethewholesystem."
Gabrielle:
"Andhowmuchisthisgonnacost?
"
Mike:
"I'lldothejobforyouatcost,butyou'restilllookingatsix,sevengrand,minimum."
(GabriellelooksatCarlosandheclearshisthroatquietly.)
Gabrielle:
"Okay,well,we'llletyouknow."
Mike:
"Look,um...ifmoney'sanissue..."
Gabrielle:
"Oh,no,no,no,it'snotthemoney.It'sjust,uh,CarlosandIaretryingtoprioritizesomelittlethingsweneedtodoaroundthehouse."
Mike:
"Right.And,uh,youdon'tconsidersewagebackingupinthehouseapriority?
"
Gabrielle:
"It'sdefinitelyontheshortlist."
Mike:
"I'mkindofsurprisedyoucalledme."
Gabrielle:
"Why?
"
Mike:
"Well,um,eversincemyarrest,nobodyaroundhereseemstowanttohavemuchtodowithme."
(Carloschucklesandliftsalegslightly,showingMikethedetectorthat'saroundhisankle.)
Carlos:
"Innocentuntilprovenguilty,myman."
(Theyturnandwalkbackintothehouse.)
Gabrielle:
"Hopehe'smoreinnocentthanyouare."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Susan'sHouse]
(SusanpushesthePlaybuttononheransweringmachine.)
Lynette'sVoice:
"Hey,it'sLynette.Iknowyou'redownaboutthisMikething,butyougottocometopoker.It'llbeworthit.IgotdirtonMaisyGibbons."
(Themachinegoestothenextmessage.)
Mike'sVoice:
"Hey,Susan,it'sme.Look,Ireallywishyou'dreturnmycalls.Weneedtotalk.IknowImessedthings--"
(SusanpushestheErasebutton,cuttinghimoff.)
Julie:
"Youokay?
"
Susan:
"Hi."
Julie:
"Youknow,Icanstayhomeifyouwant."
Susan:
"No,no,no.Now,Iknowhowmuchyouwerelookingforwardtothisweekendwithyourdad.I'mfine."
Julie:
"Youdon'tlookfine."
Susan:
"Well...I'malittlesad.MikeandIwerejustafling.Andnotevenafullfling.Sortofaborderlinefling."
Julie:
"Mom,anyonecanseehowmuchyoulovedhim."
Susan:
"Well,Ialsolovedjunkfood,andIgavethatup,andIsurvived."
(Ahornhonksfromoutside.)
Susan:
"There'syourfather.Gohavefun."
Julie:
"Lastchance.You'resure?
"
Susan:
"I'msure.Nowgo."
Julie:
"You'llfindsomeoneelse,mom.Someonegreat.Iknowit."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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