雪莉桑德伯格演讲.docx

雪莉桑德伯格演讲.docx

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雪莉桑德伯格演讲

（1）Congratulationseveryone,youmadeit

AndIdon'tmeantotheendofcollege,Imeantoclassday

becauseifmemoryserves

someofyourclassmateshadtoomanyscorpionbowlsattheKonglastnight

andarewithustoday

Giventheweather

theonethingHarvardhasn'tfiguredouthowtocontrol

someofyourotherclassmatesareatsomeplacewarmwithahotcocoa

soyouhavemanyreasonstofeelproudofyourselfasyousitheretoday

Congratulationstoyourparents

Youhavespentalotofmoney

soyourchildcansayshewenttoa"smallschool"nearBoston

Andthankyoutotheclassof2014forinvitingmetobepartofyourcelebration

Itmeansagreatdealtome

andlookingatthelistofpastspeakerswasalittledaunting

Ican'tbeasfunnyasAmyPoehler

butI'mgonnabefunnierthanMotherTeresa

25yearsago

amannamedDaveIdidnotknowatthetimebutwhowouldonedaybecomemyhusband

wassittingwhereyouaresittingtoday

23yearsago

Iwassittingwhereyouaresittingtoday

DaveandIarebackthisweekend

withouramazingsonanddaughtertocelebratehisreunion

andwebothsharethesamesentiment

Harvardhasagoodbasketballteam

Standinghereintheyardbringsmemoriesfloodingbackforme

IarrivedherefromMiamiinthefallof1987

withbighopesandevenbiggerhair

IwasassignedtoliveinoneofHarvard'shistoricmonumentstogreatarchitecture

Canaday

Mygo-tooutfit,andI'mnotmakingthisup,wasajeanskirt

whitelegwarmersandsneakersandaFloridasweater

becausemyparentswhowereherewithmethenasthey'reherewithmenow

toldmeeveryonewouldthinkitwasawesomethatIwasfromFlorida

Atleastwedidn'thaveInstagram

Forme,Harvardwasaseriesoffirsts

Myfirstwintercoat,weneedn'tneedthoseinMiami

Myfirst10pagepaper,theydidn'tassignthoseinmyhighschool

MyfirstC

afterwhichmyproctortoldmethatshewasontheAdmissionsCommittee

andIgotadmittedtoHarvardformypersonality

notmyacademicpotential

ThefirstpersonIevermetfromboardingschool

Ithoughtthatwasourreallytroubledkids

ThefirstpersonIevermetwhosharesthenamewithawholebuilding

orsoImetwhenthefirstclassmateImetwasSarahWigglesworth

whoborenorelationatalltothedorm

whichwouldhavebeennicetoknowwiththatveryintimidatingmoment

ButthenIwentontomeetothers

FrancisStrauss,JamesWells

JessicaScienceCenterB

Myfirstlove,myfirstheartbreak

thefirsttimeIrealizedthatIlovetolearn

andthefirstandverylasttimeIsawanyonereadanythinginLatin

WhenIsatinyourseatallthoseyearsago

IknewexactlywhereIwasheaded.Ihaditallplannedout

IwasgoingtotheWorldBanktoworkonglobalpoverty

ThenIwouldgotolawschool

AndIwouldspendmylifeworkinginanonprofitorinagovernment

AtHarvard'scommencementtomorrowasyourdeandescribed

eachschoolisgonnastandupandgraduatetogether

thecollege,thelawschool,themedschoolandsoon

Atmygraduation,myclasscheeredforthePhDstudents

andthenbooedthebusinessschool

Businessschoolseemedlikesuchasellout

18monthslater,Iappliedtobusinessschool

Itwasn'tthatIwaswrongaboutwhatIwoulddodecadesaftergraduating

Ihaditwrongayearandahalflater

AndevenifIcouldhavepredictedIwouldonedayworkintheprivatesector

InevercouldhavepredictedFacebook

becausetherewasnointernet

andMarkZuckerbergwasatelementaryschool

alreadywearinghishoody

Notlockingintoapathtooearly

gavemeanopportunitytogointoanewandlifechangingfield

AndforthoseofyouwhothinkIoweeverythingtogoodluck

afterCanadayIgotQuaded

What'sthatBarron

（2）

Thereisnostraightpathfromyourseattodaytowhereyouaregoing

Don'ttrytodrawthatline.Youwillnotjustgetitwrong

You'llmissbigopportunitiesandImeanbig,liketheInternet

Careersarenotladders.Thosedaysarelonggone

butjunglegyms

Don'tjustmoveupanddown.Don'tjustlookup

Lookbackwards,sideways,aroundcorners

Yourcareerandyourlifewillhavestartsandstopsandzigsandzags

Don'tstressoutaboutthewhitespace,thepathyoucantry

becausethereinlivesboththesurprisesandtheopportunities

Asyouopenyourselfuptopossibility

themostimportantthingIcantellyoutoday

istoopenyourselfuptohonesty

totellingthetruthtoeachother

tobeinghonestwithyourselves

andtobeinghonestabouttheworldwelivein

Ifyouwatchedchildren,youwillimmediatelynoticehowhonesttheyare

MyfriendBetsywaspregnantandherson

forthesecondchild,sonSamwas5

hewantedtoknowwherethebabywasinherbody

SoyesMommy,arethebabiesarmsinyourarms

Andshesaid,nonoSam,baby'sinmytummy

wholebaby

Mom,arethebaby'slegsinyourlegs

No,Sam,wholebaby'sinmytummy

ThenMommy,what'sgrowinginyourbutt

Asadults

wearealmostneverdishonest

andthatcanbeaverygoodthing

WhenIwaspregnantwithourfirstchild

IaskedmyhusbandDaveifmybuttwasgettingbig

Atfirst,hedidn'tanswerbutIpressed

Sohesaid,yeah,alittle

Foryearsmysister-in-lawsaidabouthimwhatpeople

willnowsayaboutyoufortherestofyourlifewhenyoudosomethingdone

andthatguywenttoHarvard

Hearingthetruthatdifferenttimesalongthewaywouldhavehelpedme

IwouldnothaveadmittediteasilywhenIsatwhereyousit

ButwhenIgraduated,Iwasmuchmoreworriedaboutmylovelifethanmycareer

IthoughtIonlyhadafewyearsverylimitedtimetofindoneofthegoodguys

beforehewasto,orbeforetheywerealltaken

orIgottooold

SoImovedtoDC,andmetwithguy

andIgotmarriedatthenearlydecrepitageof24

ImarriedawonderfulmanbutIhadnobusinessmakingthatkindofcommitment

Ididn'tknowwhoIwasorwhoIwantedtobe

Mymarriagefellapartwithinayear

somethingthatwasreallyembarrassingandpainfulatthetime

anditdidnothelpthatsomanyfriendscameuptomeandsaid

Ineverknewthat,neverthoughtthatwasgoingtoworkor

Iknewyouweren'trightforeachother

Noonehadmanagedtosayanythinglikethattome

beforeImarcheddownanaislewhenitwouldhavebeenfarmoreuseful

AndasIlivedthroughthesepainfulmonthsofseparationanddivorce

boy,didIwishtheyhad

Andboy,didIwishIhadaskedthem

Atthesametimeinmyprofessionallife,someonedidspeakup

MyfirstbossoutofcollegewasLantPritchett

aneconomistwhoteachesattheKennedySchoolwhoisherewithustoday

AfterIdeferredtolawschoolforthesecondtime

Lantsatmedownandsaid

Idon'tthinkyoushouldgotolawschoolatall

Idon'tthinkyouwanttogotolawschool

Ithinkyouthinkyoushouldbecauseyoutoldyourparentsyouwouldmanyyearsago

Henotedthathehadneveronceheardmetalkaboutthelawwithanyinterest

Iknowhowharditcanbetobehonestwitheachother

evenyourclosestfriends,evenwhenthey'reabouttomakeseriousmistakes

butIbetsittingheretoday,youknowyourclosestfriends'strength,weaknesses

whatclifftheymightdriveoff

andIbetforthemostpartyou'venevertoldthem

andthey'veneverasked

Askthem

Askthemforthetruthbecauseitwillhelpyou

andwhentheyanswerhonestly

youknowthatthat'swhatmakesthemrealfriends

Askingforfeedbackisareallyimportanthabittogetinto

asyouleavethestructureoftheschoolcalendarandexamsandgradesbehind

Onmanyjobsifyouwanttoknowhowyou'redoing

ifyou'regoingtohavetoaskand

thenyou'regonnahavetolistenwithoutgettingdefensive

Takeitfromme,listeningtocriticismisneverfun

（3）

butit'stheonlywaywecanimprove

Afewyearsago,MarkZuckerbergdecidedhewantedtolearnChinese

andinordertopractice

hestartedtryingtohaveworkmeetingswithsomeof

ourFacebookcolleagueswhoarenativespeakers

Nowyouwouldthinkhisverylimitedlanguageskills

wouldkeeptheseconversationsfrombeinguseful

Onedayheaskedawomanwhowasthere

howitwasgoing,howdidyouchoosetheFacebook

Sheansweredwithalongandprettycomplicatedsentence

Sohesaid,simplerplease

Shespokeagain

Simplerplease

Thiswentbackandforthacoupleoftimes

Sosheisblurtedoutinfrustration,mymanagerisbad

Thatheunderstood

Sooftenthetruthissacrificedtoconflictavoidance

orbythetimewespeakthetruth,we'veusedsomanycaveats

andpreamblesthatthemessagetotallygetslost

SoIaskyoutoaskeachotherforthetruthandotherpeople

canyoulistitinsimpleandclearlanguage

Andwhenyouspeakyourtruth

canyouusesimpleandclearlanguage

Ashardasitistobehonestwithotherpeople

itcanbeevenmoredifficulttobehonestwithourselves

ForyearsafterIhadchildren

IwouldsayprettyoftenIdon'tfeelguiltyworkingevenwhennooneasked

Someonemightsay,Sheryl,how'syourdaytoday

AndIwouldsay,greatIdon'tfeelguiltyworking

OrdoIneedasweater

Yes,it'sunpredictablyfreezingandIdon'tfeelguiltyworking

Iwaskindalikeaparrotwithissues

Thenonedayonthetreadmill,IwasreadingthisarticleonSociologyJournal

abouthowpeopledon'tstartoutlyingtootherpeople

theystartoutlyingtothemselves

andthethingswerepeatmostfrequently

areoftenthoselies

Sothesweatwaspouringdownmyface

IstartedwonderingwhatdoIrepeatprettyfrequently

andIrealizedIfeelguiltyworking

Ithendidalotofresearch

andIspentanentireyearwithmydearfriendNellScovell

writingabooktalkingabouthowIwasthinkingandfeeling

andI'msogratefulthatsomanywomenaroundtheworldconnectedtoit

MybookofcoursewascalledFiftyShadesofGrey