英语四级写作提分技巧.docx
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英语四级写作提分技巧.docx
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英语四级写作提分技巧
英语四级写作提分技巧
结构简洁
好的写作,首先而且至关重要的一点就是简洁。
繁冗的写作堆砌了许多无用的词藻,反而减弱表述的清晰度。
当然,也不能仅仅因为简短就认为短句一定优于长句。
只要一个单词确实能起到一定的作用,它就应该留在句中。
一般来说,只有在进行强调或修饰、美化句子时,才能使用重复的单词、语音和短语。
修改文章,就是要删繁就简。
比较下面这对句子,注意体会二者的差别及效果。
1)Dr.SunYat-senwenttoJapanbymeansofabigboat.
2)Dr.SunYat-senwenttoJapanbyboat.
斜体字部分较啰嗦,因为"by"就是"bymeansofboat"。
请看下列例句
Wordy:
Itmakesmefeelpainfultothinkthatshehastowork12hoursadayandsevendaysaweek.
Better:
Itpainsmetothinkthatshehastowork12hoursadayandsevendaysaweek.
Wordy:
ItwillbeouraimtoensureproperhealthcareforeachandeveryoneoftheChinesepeople.
Better:
OuraimistoensureproperhealthcareforallChinese.
Wordy:
Thisbookwillhelpyoumasterthebasicelementsofgoodwriting.
Better:
Thisbookwillhelpyoumasterthebasicsofgoodwriting.
Wordy:
Thesearchoftheforestthattheyconductedwasentirelycomplete.
Better:
Thesearchoftheforestwascomplete.
或Theyconductedacompletesearchoftheforest.
第二个句子合乎汉语表达习惯,即他们对森林进行了彻底的搜查。
Wordy:
Hehasnosenseofprinciples,whetherheisinpublicorinprivate.
Better:
Hehasnoprinciples,publicorprivate.
Wordy:
Wheneveranyonetelephonedhertoaskherforhelpwiththeirhomeworkshealwaysobligedrightaway.
Better:
Sheimmediatelyobligedanyonewhotelephonedforhelpwithhomework.
Wordy:
Inacautiousmannerthecarwentaroundthecorner.
Better:
Thecarnegotiatedthecorner.
Wordy:
Ifthegovernmentagencyfindsthatanindividualhasreceivedapaymenttowhichtheindividualwasnotentitled,whetherornotthepaymentwasduetotheindividual’sfaultormisrepresentation,theindividualshallbeliabletorepaytothegovernmentthetotalsumofthepaymenttowhichtheindividualwasnotentitled.
Better:
Ifthegovernmentagencyfindsthatyoureceivedapaymentthatyouweren’tentitledto,youmustpaytheentiresumback.
Wordy:
Anotherimportantaspectisgoodhealth.Itisoneofourgreatblessings.Itmaybeachievedthroughproperdietandexercise.Restisalsodesirable.
Better:
Thegreatblessingofgoodhealthmaybehadthroughproperdiet,exercise,andrest.
词语简化的一些技巧
2策略之一:
用介词短语替代从句。
例:
Wordy:
Whiletheywereplayingtennis,shestartedanargumentthatlastedallmorning.
Better:
Duringtennisshestartedanargumentthatlastedallmorning.
Wordy:
Whenyoucometothesecondtrafficlight,turnright.
Better:
Atthesecondtrafficlightturnleft.
2策略之二:
删除诸如"whois”或"thatis"之类的关系代词,变从句为短语。
例:
Wordy:
Thenovel,whichiswritteninthreeparts,toldastorythattookplaceintheMiddleAges.
Better:
Thethree-partnoveltoldastorysetintheMiddleAges.
注:
把句中的”threeparts”改用形容词来表达,节省了四个不必要的单词”whichiswrittenin”。
我们经常可以将关系代词如”that”去掉,这只会引起最少的变动。
2策略之三:
剔除你不需要的单词
"Twojointpartnerswillpresenttheirviewsoveralong-distancetelephonecall."
写完这样的句子后,你自己再读一遍,挑出单词”joint”和”telephone”,注意删去不必要的词。
2策略之四:
表达否定意义时,尽量避免使用否定词。
英语中很多词不用"no’s"或者"not’s"也能表达否定含义的词汇,你尽可以采取更为委婉的表达方式。
例:
Thuscollegestudentswhodonothavesufficientfinancialbacking,
也就是collegestudentswholackssufficientfinancialbacking。
如果你不想使用太多的否定词,就应该尽量避免使用它们。
平行结构,一起来看一下。
相似的思想应用相似的形式表达出来。
句子的成份相近,则也应以相似的形式出现。
请注意以下标有"NO"的句子是不规范的。
No:
Theschoolbusskidded,turnedsideways,thencomestoastop.
Yes:
Theschoolbusskidded,turnedsideways,andcametoastop.
(并列时态)
No:
Idon’tknowwhyImarriedsomeonewhoismiserly,sloppyandabore.
Yes:
Idon’tknowwhyImarriedsomeonewhoismiserly,sloppyandboring.
(形容词平行结构)
No:
Inthewreckthecircuslostapandaandelephant.
Yes:
Inthewreckthecircuslostapandaandanelephant.
(不定冠词的平行结构)
No:
IdebatedwhetherIshouldgivethebeggarmoneyortoofferhimfood.
Yes:
Idebatedwhethertogivethebeggarmoneyortoofferhimfood.
(不定式的平行结构)
No:
Theywouldlieonthebattlefieldforhoursandsometimesdays.
Yes:
Theywouldlieonthebattlefieldforhoursandsometimesfordays.
(介词平行结构)
No:
Michael’svacuumcleanersquealedloudly,shookviolently,anddustfilledtheair.
Yes:
Michael’svacuumcleanersquealedloudly,shookviolently,andfilledtheairwithdust.
(并列谓语)
No:
Themechanicexplainedtheproblem,method,andthetoolsthathewasgoingtouse.
Yes:
Themechanicexplainedtheproblem,method,andtoolsthathewasgoingtouse.
(并列带有定冠词"the"的名词)
No:
Heretiredrespectedbyhisassociates,admiredbyhisfriends,andhisemployeeslovedhim.
Yes:
Heretiredrespectedbyhisassociates,admiredbyhisfriends,andlovedbyhisemployees.
(并列被动语态)
No:
AsayoungmanhehadbeentoShanghai,fightingintheAnti-JapaneseWar,andfollowingtheNationalistPartytoChongking.
Yes:
AsayoungmanhehadbeentoShanghai,hadfoughtintheAnti-JapaneseWarandhadfollowedtheNationalistPartytoChongking.
(并列过去完成时)
No:
Janeispretty,withbrownhair,andhasagracefulmanner.
Yes:
Janeispretty,brown-haired,andgraceful.
(形容词平行结构)
No:
Heleftthecitybecauseofhislackofsuccessinbusiness,thedepartureofhisfriendsandbecausehishealthdeterioratedrapidly.
Yes:
Heleftthecitybecauseofhislackofsuccessinbusiness,thedepartureofhisfriendsandhisrapidlyfailinghealth.
(作宾语的名词平行结构)
No:
Theyboughtthehouseforlocationandaffordability.
Yes:
Theyboughtthehousebecauseofitslocationanditsaffordability.
(并列名词;注意代词的所有格)
No:
WhydidyoumakeXiaoZhangfeeluselessandasifhewasunimportant?
Yes:
WhydidyoumakeXiaoZhangfeeluselessandunimportant?
(形容词的平行结构)
No:
Thiscouldbeaproblemforboththewinnersandforthosewholose.
Yes:
Thiscouldbeaproblemforboththewinnersandlosers.
(名词平行结构)
No:
Theprisonerwasnotonlyfoundguiltyofbriberybutalsoadultery.
Yes:
Theprisonerwasfoundguiltynotonlyofbriberybutalsoofadultery.
(并列介词短语)
为使平行结构清楚明了,随时都可以重复介词、冠词、助动词、不定词标志,或者长的短语或句子的介绍词。
Awkward:
IadmireTennysonfortheidealsinhispoemsbutnothisstyle.
Improved:
IadmireTennysonfortheidealsinhispoemsbutnotforhisstyle.
Awkward:
Thesentencesaredifficulttounderstand,notbecausetheyarelongbuttheyareobscure.
Improved:
Thesentencesaredifficulttounderstand,notbecausetheyarelongbutbecausetheyareobscure.
Awkward:
Heexplainedthattheadvertisingcampaignhadbeensuccessful,businesshadincreasedmorethanfortypercent,andadditionalcapitalwassorelyneeded.
Improved:
Heexplainedthattheadvertisingcampaignhadbeensuccessful,thatbusinesshadincreasedmorethanfortypercent,andthatadditionalcapitalwassorelyneeded.
在商业和正式文件写作中,越来越多的用到圆点散句。
除了更易读之外,它们更能从视觉上引起人们注意。
作者需要决定在圆点之后用什么形式来写,是用名词,动词,形容词,副词,还是介词短语,定语从句甚至完整的句子。
应该记住的是它们相互间应该保持一致。
平行结构较多用。
Examples:
Ourrecommendationsforimprovingcomputer-usercomfortareasfollows:
·Anti-radiationscreensshouldbeavailableforcomputermonitors.
·Wristsupportsshouldbeusedtohelpmaintainproperwristpositionduringcomputeruseandpossiblyreducetheriskofcarpaltunnelsyndrome.
·Employeesneedadjustablechairswithastrongerbacksupport.
(主谓一致结构)
Whatmakesmedifferentfromotherjobapplicants?
·AbilitytoconverseinEnglish,JapaneseinadditiontomynativeMandarin
·Completionoftwo-monthcustomersatisfactiontraining
·Impeccablemedicalreportcard
·Outgoingpersonalityandeagerdesiretohelp
(名词平行结构)
Awkward:
AtYiXinAssociates,wehave15yearsofcombinedlegalexperienceinalltypesofinjurycasesonecanthinkof.Otherareaswehandlearewrongfuldeath,automobileaccidentsandmedicalmalpractice.Ifyouslipandfallinapublicbuilding,wecanrepresentyouinfilingalawsuitagainsttheowner.Also,ourclientscometoseekourhelpinhandicapdiscriminationanddenialofinsuranceclaimcases.
Better:
AtYiXinAssociates,wehave15yearsofcombinedlegalexperiencein:
·Allinjurycases
·Wrongfuldeath
·Automobileaccidents
·Medicalmalpractice
·Slipandfall
·Handicapdiscrimination
·Denialofinsuranceclaims
Incorrect:
ThedutiesoftheExecutiveSecretaryoftheAdministrativeCommitteeare:
·Totakeminutesofallmeetings(不定式短语)
·TheExecutiveSecretaryanswersallthecorrespondence;and(句子)
·Writingofmonthreports.(话题)
Correct:
ThedutiesoftheExecutiveSecretaryoftheAdministrativeCommitteeare:
·Totakeminutesofallmeetings;
·Toanswerallthecorrespondence;and
·Towritemonthlyreports.
精典范例:
Letthewordgoforthfromthistimeandplace,tofriendandfoe1alike,thatthetorchhasbeenpassedtoanewgenerationofAmericans,borninthiscentury,temperedbywar,disciplinedbyahardandbitterpeace,proudofourancientheritage,andunwillingtowitnessorpermittheslowundoingofthosehumanrightstowhichthisnationhasalwaysbeencommitted,andtowhichwearecommittedtodayathomeandaroundtheworld.
Soletusbeginanew,rememberingonbothsidesthatcivilityisnotasignofweakness,andthatsincerityisalwayssubjecttoproof.Letusnevernegotiateoutoffear,butletusneverfeartonegotiate.
Nowthetrumpetsummonsusagain-notasacalltobeararms,thougharmsweneed2;notasacalltobattle,thoughembattledweare3;butacalltobeartheburdenofalongtwilightstruggle,ayearinandyearout"rejoicinginhope,patientintribulation,"astruggle4againstthecommonenemiesofman:
5tyranny,poverty,disease,andwaritself.
Andso,myfellowAmericans,asknotwhatyourcountrycandoforyou6;askwhatyoucandoforyourcountry.
--美国前总统JohnF.Kennedy
注意:
(1)划线部分为平行结构
(2)例1.头韵;例2
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