iamafool原文.docx
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iamafool原文.docx
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iamafool原文
I'MAFOOL
Itwasahardjoltforme,oneofthemostbitterestIeverhadtoface.Anditallcameaboutthroughmyownfoolishnesstoo.Evenyetsometimes,whenIthinkofit,IwanttocryorswearorkickmyselfPerhaps,evennow,afterallthistime,therewillbeakindofsatisfactioninmakingmyselflookcheapbytellingofit.
Itbeganatthreeo'clockoneOctoberafternoonasIsatinthegrandstandatthefalltrottingandpacingmeetatSandusky,Ohio.
Totellthetruth,IfeltalittlefoolishthatIshouldbesittinginthegrandstandatall.DuringthesummerbeforeIhadleftmyhometownwithHarryWhiteheadand,withaniggernamedBurt,hadtakenajobasswipewithoneofthetwohorsesHarrywascampaigningthroughthefallracemeetsthatyear.MothercriedandmysisterMildred,whowantedtogetajobasaschoolteacherinourtownthatfall,stormedandscoldedaboutthehouseallduringtheweekbeforeIleft.Theyboththoughtitsomethingdisgracefulthatoneofourfamilyshouldtakeaplaceasaswipewithracehorses.I'veanideaMildredthoughtmytakingtheplacewouldstandinthewayofhergettingthejobshe'dbeenworkingsolongfor.
ButafterallIhadtowork,andtherewasnootherworktobegot.Abiglumberingfellowofnineteencouldn'tjusthangaroundthehouseandIhadgottoobigtomowpeople'slawnsandsellnewspapers.Littlechapswhocouldgetnexttopeople'ssympathiesbytheirsizeswerealwaysgettingjobsawayfromme.Therewasonefellowwhokeptsayingtoeveryonewhowantedalawnmowedoracisterncleaned,thathewassavingmoneytoworkhiswaythroughcollege,andIusedtolayawakenightsthinkingupwaystoinjurehimwithoutbeingfoundout.Ikeptthinkingofwagonsrunningoverhimandbricksfallingonhisheadashewalkedalongthestreet.Butnevermindhim.
IgottheplacewithHarryandIlikedBurtfine.Wegotalongsplendidtogether.Hewasabigniggerwithalazysprawlingbodyandsoft,kindeyes,andwhenitcametoafighthecouldhitlikeJackJohnson.HehadBucephalus,abigblackpacingstallionthatcoulddo2.09or2.10,ifhehadto,andIhadalittlegeldingnamedDoctorFritzthatneverlostaraceallfallwhenHarrywantedhimtowin.
WesetoutfromhomelateinJulyinaboxcarwiththetwohorsesandafterthat,untillateNovember,wekeptmovingalongtotheracemeetsandthefairs.Itwasapeachytimeforme,I'llsaythat.SometimesnowIthinkthatboyswhoareraisedregularinhouses,andneverhaveafineniggerlikeBurtforbestfriend,andgotohighschoolsandcollege,andneverstealanything,orgetdrunkalittle,orlearntoswearfromfellowswhoknowhow,orcomewalkingupinfrontofagrandstandintheirshirtsleevesandwithdirtyhorseypantsonwhentheracesaregoingonandthegrandstandisfullofpeoplealldressedup--what'stheuseoftalkingaboutit?
Suchfellowsdon'tknownothingatall.They'veneverhadnoopportunity.
ButIdid.Burttaughtmehowtorubdownahorseandputthebandagesonafteraraceandsteamahorseoutandalotofvaluablethingsforanymantoknow.Hecouldwrapabandageonahorse'slegsosmooththatifithadbeenthesamecoloryouwouldthinkitwashisskin,andIguesshe'dhavebeenabigdrivertooandgottothetoplikeMurphyandWalterCoxandtheothersifhehadn'tbeenblack.
Geewhizz,itwasfun.Yougottoacountyseattown,maybesayonaSaturdayorSunday,andthefairbeganthenextTuesdayandlasteduntilFridayafternoon.DoctorFritzwouldbe,sayinthe2.25trotonTuesdayafternoonandonThursdayafternoonBucephaluswouldknock'emcoldinthe"free-for-all"pace.Itleftyoualotoftimetohangaroundandlistentohorsetalk,andseeBurtknocksomeyapcoldthatgottoogay,andyou'dfindoutabouthorsesandmenandpickupalotofstuffyoucouldusealltherestofyourlife,ifyouhadsomesenseandsalteddownwhatyouheardandfeltandsaw.
Andthenattheendoftheweekwhentheracemeetwasover,andHarryhadrunhometotenduptohisliverystablebusiness,youandBurthitchedthetwohorsestocartsanddroveslowandsteadyacrosscountrytotheplaceforthenextmeeting,soastonotover-heatthehorses,etc.,etc.,youknow.
Geewhizz,goshamighty,thenicehickorynutandbeechnutandoaksandotherkindsoftreesalongtheroads,allbrownandred,andthegoodsmells,andBurtsingingasongthatwascalledDeepRiver,andthecountrygirlsatthewindowsofhousesandeverything.Youcanstickyourcollegesupyournoseforallme.IguessIknowwhereIgotmyeducation.
Why,oneofthoselittleburgsoftownsyoucometoontheway,saynowonaSaturdayafternoon,andBurtsays,"Let'slayuphere."Andyoudid.
Andyoutookthehorsestoaliverystableandfedthem,andyougotyourgoodclothesoutofaboxandputthemon.
Andthetownwasfulloffarmersgaping,becausetheycouldseeyouwereracehorsepeople,andthekidsmaybeneverseeaniggerbeforeandwasafraidandrunawaywhenthetwoofuswalkeddowntheirmainstreet.
Andthatwasbeforeprohibitionandallthatfoolishness,andsoyouwentintoasaloon,thetwoofyou,andalltheyapscomeandstoodaround,andtherewasalwayssomeonepretendedhewashorseyandknewthingsandspokeupandbeganaskingquestions,andallyoudidwastolieandlieallyoucouldaboutwhathorsesyouhad,andIsaidIownedthem,andthensomefellowsaid"willyouhaveadrinkofwhiskey"andBurtknockedhiseyeoutthewayhecouldsay,offhandlike,"Ohwell,allright,I'magreeabletoalittlenip.I'llsplitaquartwithyou."Geewhizz.
Butthatisn'twhatIwanttotellmystoryabout.WegothomelateinNovemberandIpromisedmotherI'dquittheracehorsesforgood.There'salotofthingsyou'vegottopromiseamotherbecauseshedon'tknowanybetter.
Andso,therenotbeinganyworkinourtownanymorethanwhenIlefttheretogototheraces,IwentofftoSanduskyandgotaprettygoodplacetakingcareofhorsesforamanwhoownedateaminganddeliveryandstorageandcoalandrealestatebusinessthere.Itwasaprettygoodplacewithgoodeats,andadayoffeachweek,andsleepingonacotinabigbarn,andmostlyjustshovellinginhayandoatstoalotofbiggood-enoughskatesofhorses,thatcouldn'thavetrottedaracewithatoad.Iwasn'tdissatisfiedandIcouldsendmoneyhome.
Andthen,asIstartedtotellyou,thefallracescometoSanduskyandIgotthedayoffendIwent.Ileftthejobatnoonandhadonmygoodclothesandmynewbrownderbyhat,I'djustboughttheSaturdaybefore,andastand-upcollar.
FirstofallIwentdowntownandwalkedaboutwiththedudes.I'vealwaysthoughttomyself,"Putupagoodfront"andsoIdidit.IhadfortydollarsinmypocketandsoIwentintotheWestHouse,abighotel,andwalkeduptothecigarstand."Givemethreetwenty-fivecentcigars,"Isaid.Therewasalotofhorsemenandstrangersanddressed-uppeoplefromothertownsstandingaroundinthelobbyandinthebar,andImingledamongstthemInthebartherewasafellowwithacaneandaWindsortieonthatitmademesicktolookathim.Ilikeamantobeamananddressup,butnotto
pleaseandlookingdownontheswipescomingoutwiththeirhorses,andwiththeirdirtyhorseypantsonandthehorseblanketsswungovertheirshoulders,sameasIhadbeendoingalltheyearbefore.Ilikedonethingaboutthesameastheother,sittingupthereandfeelinggrandandbeingdownthereandlookingupattheyapsandfeelinggranderandmoreimportanttoo.Onething'saboutasgoodasanother,ifyoutakeitjustright.I'veoftensaidthat.
Well,rightinfrontofme,inthegrandstandthatday,therewasafellowwithacoupleofgirlsandtheywasaboutmyage.Theyoungfellowwasaniceguyallright.Hewasthekindmaybethatgoestocollegeandthencomestobealawyerormaybeanewspapereditororsomethinglikethat,buthewasn'tstuckonhimself.Therearesomeofthatkindareallrightandhewasoneoftheones.
Hehadhissisterwithhimandanothergirlandthesisterlookedaroundoverhisshoulder,accidentalatfirst,notintendingtostartanything--shewasn'tthatkind--andhereyesandminehappenedtomeet.
Youknowhowitis.Gee,shewasapeach!
Shehadonasoftdress,kindofabluestuffanditlookedcarelesslymade,butwaswellsewedandmadeandeverything.Iknewthatmuch.Iblushedwhenshelookedrightatmeandsodidshe.ShewasthenicestgirlI'veeverseeninmylife.Shewasn'tstuckonherselfandshecouldtalkpropergrammarwithoutbeinglikeaschoolteacherorsomethinglikethat.WhatImeanis,shewasO.K.Ithinkmaybeherfatherwaswell-to-do,butnotrichtomakeherchestybecauseshewashisdaughter,assomeare.Maybeheownedadrugstoreoradrygoodsstoreintheirhometown,orsomethinglikethatShenevertoldmeandIneverasked.
MyownpeopleareallO.K.toowhenyoucometothat.MygrandfatherwasWelshandoverintheoldcountry,inWaleshwas--butnevermindthat.
Thefirstheatofthefirstracecomeoffandtheyoungfellowsettingtherewiththetwogirlsleftthemandwentdowntomakeabet.Iknewwhathewasupto,buthedidn'ttalkbigandnoisyandleteveryonearoundknowhewasasportassomedo.Hewasn'tthatkind.Well,hecomebackandIheardhimtellthetwogirlswhathorsehe'dbeton,andwhentheheatwastrottedtheyallhalfgottotheirfeetandactedintheexcited,sweatywaypeopledowhenthey'vegotmoneydownonarace,andthehorsetheybetonisupthereprettycloseattheend,andtheythinkmaybehe'llcomeonwitharush,butheneverdoesbecausehehasn'tgottheoldjuiceinhim,comerightdowntoit.
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