TED演讲稿20岁光阴不再中英互译.docx
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TED演讲稿20岁光阴不再中英互译.docx
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TED演讲稿20岁光阴不再中英互译
When?
I?
was?
in?
my?
20s,?
I?
saw?
my?
very?
first?
psychotherapy?
client.?
I?
was?
a?
Ph.D.?
student?
in?
clinical?
psychology?
at?
Berkeley.?
She?
was?
a?
26-year-old?
woman?
named?
Alex.?
记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。
当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。
我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。
Now?
Alex?
walked?
into?
her?
first?
session?
wearing?
jeans?
and?
a?
big?
slouchy?
top,?
and?
she?
dropped?
onto?
the?
couch?
in?
my?
office?
and?
kicked?
off?
her?
flats?
and?
told?
me?
she?
was?
there?
to?
talk?
about?
guy?
problems.?
Now?
when?
I?
heard?
this,?
I?
was?
so?
relieved.?
My?
classmate?
got?
an?
arsonist?
for?
her?
first?
client.?
(Laughter)?
And?
I?
got?
a?
twentysomething?
who?
wanted?
to?
talk?
about?
boys.?
This?
I?
thought?
I?
could?
handle.?
第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。
当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。
因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。
我觉得我可以搞定。
?
But?
I?
didn't?
handle?
it.?
With?
the?
funny?
stories?
that?
Alex?
would?
bring?
to?
session,?
it?
was?
easy?
for?
me?
just?
to?
nod?
my?
head?
while?
we?
kicked?
thecan?
down?
the?
road.
但是我没有搞定。
Alex不断地讲有趣的事情,而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的,很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。
"Thirty's?
the?
new?
20,"?
Alex?
would?
say,?
and?
as?
far?
as?
I?
could?
tell,?
she?
was?
right.?
Work?
happened?
later,?
marriage?
happened?
later,?
kids?
happened?
later,?
even?
death?
happened?
later.?
Twentysomethings?
like?
Alex?
and?
I?
had?
nothing?
but?
time.?
Alex说:
“30岁是一个新的20岁”。
没错,我告诉她“你是对的”。
工作还早,结婚还早,生孩子还早,甚至死亡也早着呢。
像Alex和我这样20多岁的人,什么都没有但时间多的是。
?
But?
before?
long,?
my?
supervisor?
pushed?
me?
to?
push?
Alex?
about?
her?
love?
life.?
I?
pushed?
back.?
I?
said,?
"Sure,?
she's?
dating?
down,?
she's?
sleeping?
witha?
knucklehead,?
but?
it's?
not?
like?
she's?
going?
to?
marry?
the?
guy."?
And?
then?
my?
supervisor?
said,?
"Not?
yet,?
but?
she?
might?
marry?
the?
next?
one.?
Besides,?
the?
best?
time?
to?
work?
on?
Alex's?
marriage?
is?
before?
she?
has?
one."?
?
但不久之后,我的导师就要我向Alex的感情生活施压。
我反驳说:
“当然她现在正在和别人交往,她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉,但看样子她不会和他结婚的。
”?
而我的导师说:
“不着急,她也许会和下一个结婚。
但修复Alex婚姻的最好时期是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。
”?
That's?
what?
psychologists?
call?
an?
"Aha!
"?
moment.?
That?
was?
the?
moment?
I?
realized,?
30?
is?
not?
the?
new?
20.?
Yes,?
people?
settle?
down?
laterthantheyusedto,butthatdidn’tmakeAlex’s20sadevelopmentaldowntime.
这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。
正是那个时候我意识到,30岁不是一个新的20岁。
的确,和以前的人相比,现在人们更晚才安定下来,但是这不代表Alex就能长期处于20多岁的状态。
That?
made?
Alex's?
20s?
a?
developmental?
sweet?
spot,?
and?
we?
were?
sitting?
there?
blowing?
it.?
That?
was?
when?
I?
realized?
that?
this?
sort?
of?
benign?
neglect?
was?
a?
real?
problem,?
and?
it?
had?
real?
consequences,?
not?
just?
for?
Alex?
and?
her?
love?
life?
but?
for?
the?
careers?
and?
the?
families?
and?
the?
futures?
of?
twentysomethings?
everywhere.?
更晚安定下来,应该使Alex的20多岁成为发展的黄金时段,而我们却坐在那里忽视这个发展的时机。
从那时起我意识到这种善意的忽视确实是个问题,它不仅给Alex本身和她的感情生活带来不良后果,而且影响到处20多岁的人的事业、家庭和未来。
There?
are?
50?
million?
twentysomethings?
in?
the?
United?
States?
right?
now.?
We're?
talking?
about?
15?
percent?
of?
the?
population,?
or?
100?
percent?
if?
you?
consider?
that?
no?
one's?
getting?
through?
adulthood?
without?
going?
through?
their?
20s?
first.?
现在在美国,20多岁的人有五千万,也就是15%的人口,或者可以说所有人口,因为所有成年人都要经历他们的20多岁。
Raise?
your?
hand?
if?
you're?
in?
your?
20s.?
I?
really?
want?
to?
see?
some?
twentysomethings?
here.?
Oh,?
yay!
?
Y'all's?
awesome.?
If?
you?
work?
with?
twentysomethings,?
you?
love?
a?
twentysomething,?
you're?
losing?
sleep?
over?
twentysomethings,?
I?
want?
to?
see?
—?
Okay.?
Awesome,?
twentysomethings?
really?
matter.
如果你现在20多岁,请举手。
我很想看到有20多岁的人在这里。
哦,很好。
如果你和20多岁的人一起工作,你喜欢20多岁的人,你因为20多岁的人辗转难眠,我想看到你们。
很棒,看来20多岁的人确实很受重视。
So?
I?
specialize?
in?
twentysomethings?
because?
I?
believe?
that?
every?
single?
one?
of?
those?
50?
million?
twentysomethings?
deserves?
to?
know?
what?
psychologists,?
sociologists,?
neurologists?
and?
fertility?
specialists?
already?
know:
?
that?
claiming?
your?
20s?
is?
one?
of?
the?
simplest,?
yet?
most?
transformative,?
things?
you?
can?
do?
for?
work,?
for?
love,?
for?
your?
happiness,?
maybe?
even?
for?
the?
world.?
因此我专门研究20多岁的人,因为我坚信这五千万的20多岁的人,每一个人都应该去了解那些心理学家、社会学家、神经学家和生育专家已经知道的事实:
你的20多岁是极简单却极具变化的时期之一。
你20多岁的时光决定了你的事业、爱情、幸福甚至整个世界。
This?
is?
not?
my?
opinion.?
These?
are?
the?
facts.?
We?
know?
that?
80?
percent?
of?
life's?
most?
defining?
moments?
take?
place?
by?
age?
35.?
That?
means?
that?
eight?
out?
of?
10?
of?
the?
decisions?
and?
experiences?
and?
"Aha!
"?
moments?
that?
make?
your?
life?
what?
it?
is?
will?
have?
happened?
by?
your?
mid-30s.
这不是我的看法。
这些是事实。
我们知道80%决定你生活的时刻发生在35岁之前。
这就意味着你生活的重要决定、经历和突然的领悟,有八成是在你30多岁之前发生的。
?
People?
who?
are?
over?
40,?
don't?
panic.?
This?
crowd?
is?
going?
to?
be?
fine,?
I?
think.?
We?
know?
that?
the?
first?
10?
years?
of?
a?
career?
has?
an?
exponential?
impact?
on?
how?
much?
money?
you're?
going?
to?
earn.?
We?
know?
that?
more?
than?
half?
of?
Americans?
are?
married?
or?
are?
living?
with?
or?
dating?
their?
future?
partner?
by?
30.?
那些超过40岁的朋友不要惊慌,我想这群人会没事的。
我们知道职业生涯的前10年对你将来的收入有重大影响。
我们知道到了30岁的时候,超过半数的美国人会结婚或者和未来的另一半同居或者约会。
?
We?
know?
that?
the?
brain?
caps?
off?
its?
second?
and?
last?
growth?
spurt?
in?
your?
20s?
as?
it?
rewires?
itself?
for?
adulthood,?
which?
means?
that?
whatever?
it?
is?
you?
want?
to?
change?
about?
yourself,?
now?
is?
the?
time?
to?
change?
it.?
We?
know?
that?
personality?
changes?
more?
during?
your?
20s?
than?
at?
any?
other?
time?
in?
life,?
and?
we?
know?
that?
female?
fertility?
peaks?
at?
age?
28,?
and?
things?
get?
tricky?
after?
age?
35.?
我们知道人在20多岁的时候大脑停止第二次也是最后一次重组,以适应成年世界的快速发育阶段。
这就意味着不管你想怎样改变自己,现在就是时间改变了。
我们知道在20多岁的时候,性格的改变多于生命中任何时期。
我们也知道女性的最佳生育时期在28岁的时候达到顶峰,35岁之后生育变得困难。
?
So?
your?
20s?
are?
the?
time?
to?
educate?
yourself?
about?
your?
body?
and?
your?
options.?
So?
when?
we?
think?
about?
child?
development,?
we?
all?
know?
that?
the?
first?
five?
years?
are?
a?
critical?
period?
for?
language?
and?
attachment?
in?
the?
brain.?
It's?
a?
time?
when?
your?
ordinary,?
day-to-day?
life?
has?
an?
inordinate?
impact?
on?
who?
you?
will?
become.?
所以你的20多岁正是了解你自身和选择的时期。
当我们想到孩童的成长时,我们都知道1-5岁是大脑学习语言和感知的重要时期。
这个时期,日常的普通生活都会对你的未来道路影响巨大。
But?
what?
we?
hear?
less?
about?
is?
that?
there's?
such?
a?
thing?
as?
adult?
development,?
and?
our?
20s?
are?
that?
critical?
period?
of?
adult?
development.?
But?
this?
isn't?
what?
twentysomethings?
are?
hearing.?
Newspapers?
talk?
about?
the?
changing?
timetable?
of?
adulthood.?
但是我们却很少听到成年发展期,而我们的20多岁正是成年发展期的关键。
但是20多岁的人却听不到这些,报纸讨论的只是成年年龄界线的变更。
?
Researchers?
call?
the?
20s?
an?
extended?
adolescence.?
Journalists?
coin?
silly?
nicknames?
for?
twentysomethings?
like?
"twixters"?
and"kidults."
It's?
true.?
As?
a?
culture,?
we?
have?
trivialized?
what?
is?
actually?
the?
defining?
decade?
of?
adulthood.
研究者称20多岁是延长的青春期。
记者就引用傻傻的外号称呼20多岁的人,比如“twixters”?
(twenty-mixters)和“kidults”(kid-adults)。
?
这是真的。
作为一种文化,我们的忽视的正是对成年起到决定性作用的十年(从20岁到30岁)。
?
Leonard?
Bernstein?
said?
that?
to?
achieve?
great?
things,?
you?
need?
a?
plan?
and?
not?
quite?
enough?
time.?
Isn't?
that?
true?
?
So?
what?
do?
you?
think?
happens?
when?
you?
pat?
a?
twentysomething?
on?
the?
head?
and?
you?
say,?
"You?
have?
10?
extra?
years?
to?
start?
your?
life"?
?
Nothing?
happens.?
You?
have?
robbed?
that?
person?
of?
his?
urgency?
and?
ambition,?
and?
absolutely?
nothing?
happens.?
雷昂纳德·伯恩斯坦说过:
要想取得成就,你需要一个计划和紧迫的时间。
这是大实话啊!
所以当你拍着一个20多岁的人的脑袋,跟他说,“你有额外的10年去开始你的生活”,你觉得这改变了什么?
什么都没改变。
你只是夺走了那个人的紧迫感和雄心壮志,绝对没有改变什么。
And?
then?
every?
day,?
smart,?
interesting?
twentysomethings?
like?
you?
or?
like?
your?
sons?
and?
daughters?
come?
into?
my?
office?
and?
say?
things?
like?
this:
?
"I?
know?
my?
boyfriend's?
no?
good?
for?
me,?
but?
this?
relationship?
doesn't?
count.?
I'm?
just?
killing?
time."?
Or?
they?
say,?
"Everybody?
says?
as?
long?
as?
I?
get?
started?
on?
a?
career?
by?
the?
time?
I'm?
30,?
I'll?
be?
fine."?
?
然后每天,那些聪明有趣的20多岁的人就像你们和你们的儿子女儿一样,走入我的办公室开始说:
“我知道我的男朋友对我不够好,但是我们的关系不算数。
我只是在消磨时光而已。
”或者说“每个人都告诉我只要能在30岁的时候开始我的事业,这就足够了。
”?
But?
then?
it?
starts?
to?
sound?
like?
this:
?
"My?
20s?
are?
almost?
over,?
and?
I?
have?
nothing?
to?
show?
for?
myself.?
I?
had?
a?
better?
résumé?
the?
day?
after?
I?
graduated?
from?
college."?
And?
then?
it?
starts?
to?
sound?
like?
this:
?
"Dating?
in?
my?
20s?
was?
like?
musical?
chairs.?
Everybody?
was?
running?
around?
and?
having?
fun,?
but?
then?
sometime?
around?
30?
it?
was?
like?
the?
music?
turned?
off?
and?
everybody?
started?
sitting?
down.
但是实际听上去却是:
“我马上就要三十了,却根本就没有东西展示。
我只是在大学毕业时有过一份最漂亮的简历。
”?
或是这样:
“我20多岁时的约会就像找凳子。
每个人都绕着凳子跑,随便玩一玩,但是快30的时候就像音乐停止了,所有人开始坐下。
?
I?
didn't?
want?
to?
be?
the?
only?
one?
left?
standing?
up,?
so?
sometimes?
I?
think?
I?
married?
my?
husband?
because?
he?
was?
the?
closest?
chair?
to?
me?
at?
30.
"?
Where?
are?
the?
twentysomethings?
here?
?
Do?
not?
do?
that.?
Okay,?
now?
that?
sounds?
a?
little?
flip,?
but?
make?
no?
mistake,?
the?
stakes?
are?
very?
high.?
?
我不想成为那唯一站着的人,所以有时候我会想我和我丈夫之所以会结婚,是因为在我30岁的时候,他是当时离我最近的那张凳子。
在场的20多岁的人呐,千万不要这样做。
这个做法听起来有点轻率,但是不要犯错,因为风险很高。
When?
a?
lot?
has?
been?
pushed?
to?
your?
30s,?
there?
is?
enormous?
thirtysomething?
pressure?
to?
jump-start?
a?
career,?
pick?
a?
city,?
partner?
up,?
and?
have?
two?
or?
three?
kids?
in?
a?
much?
shorter?
period?
of?
time.?
Many?
of?
these?
things?
are?
incompatible,?
and?
as?
research?
is?
just?
starting?
to?
show,?
simply?
harder?
and?
more?
stressful?
to?
do?
all?
at?
once?
in?
our?
30s.?
?
当很多事都被挤到你30多岁的时候,就会有巨大压力,在很短的时间内快速启动一项事业,挑一个城市,找到伴侣,生两三个孩子。
这些事大多是不能同时完成的,正如研究表明,在30岁的时候要想工作生活一步到位,难度很高,压力很大。
?
The?
post-millennial?
midlife?
crisis?
isn't?
buying?
a?
red?
sports?
car.?
It's?
realizing?
you?
can't?
have?
that?
career?
you?
now?
want.?
It's?
realizing?
you?
can't?
have?
that?
child?
you?
now?
want,?
or?
you?
can't?
give?
your?
child?
a?
sibling.?
千禧年后的中年危机并不是一辆红色跑车。
而是意识到你不能拥有你想拥有的事业,意识到你不能拥有你想要的孩子,或者给你的孩子添个兄弟姐妹。
Too?
many?
thirtysomethings?
and?
fortysomethings?
look?
at?
themselves,?
and?
at?
me,?
sitting?
across?
the?
room,?
and?
say?
about?
their?
20s,?
"What?
was?
I?
doing?
?
What?
was?
I?
thinking?
"?
I?
want?
to?
change?
what?
twentysomethings?
are?
doing?
and?
thinking.?
?
太多30多岁40多岁的人看看他们自己,看看我,坐在屋子里谈论自己的20多岁,“我当时都干么了?
我当时都想啥了?
”我想改变现在20多岁人的所思所为。
Here's?
a?
story?
about?
how?
that?
can?
go.?
It's?
a?
story?
about?
a?
woman?
named?
Emma.?
At?
25,?
Emma?
came?
to?
my?
office?
because?
she?
was,?
in?
her?
words,?
having?
an?
identity?
crisis.?
She?
said?
she?
thought?
she?
might?
like?
to?
work?
in?
art?
or?
entertainment,?
but?
she?
hadn't?
decided?
yet,?
so?
she'd?
spent?
the?
last?
few?
years?
waiting?
tables?
instead.?
?
这里我想讲个故事说明问题。
这个故事是关于名叫Emma一个女人。
她25岁的时候走入我的办公室,因为用她自己的话说,她有自我认识危机。
她说她也许想从事关于艺术或者娱乐的工作,但是她还没决定。
所以取而代之的是她花了过去几年的时间当服务员。
Because?
it?
was?
cheaper,?
she?
lived?
with?
a?
boyfriend?
who?
displayed?
his?
temper?
more?
than?
his?
ambition.?
And?
as?
hard?
as?
her?
20s?
were,?
her?
early?
life?
had?
been?
even?
harder.?
She?
often?
cried?
in?
our?
sessions,?
but?
then?
would?
collect?
herself?
by?
saying,?
"You?
can't?
pick?
your?
family,?
but?
you?
can?
pick?
your?
friends."?
?
为了减少开销,她和她的男朋友同居,一个脾气暴躁而无志向的人。
正如她悲惨的20多岁,她早年的生活更加悲惨。
她经常在谈话过程中哭泣,努力镇定下来后说“你没办法选择你的家庭,但是你可以选择你的朋友。
”?
Well?
one?
day,?
Emma?
comes?
in?
and?
she?
hangs?
her?
head?
in?
her?
lap,?
and?
she?
sobbed?
for?
most
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