生活大爆炸第一季第一集.docx
- 文档编号:3932912
- 上传时间:2022-11-26
- 格式:DOCX
- 页数:15
- 大小:21.68KB
生活大爆炸第一季第一集.docx
《生活大爆炸第一季第一集.docx》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《生活大爆炸第一季第一集.docx(15页珍藏版)》请在冰豆网上搜索。
生活大爆炸第一季第一集
TheBigBangTheoryS01E01script
Ifaphotonisdirectedthroughaplanewithtwoslitsinitandeitherisobserved...
...itwillnotgothroughboth.Ifunobserved,itwill.
Ifit'sobservedafteritlefttheplane,beforeithitsitstarget...
-...itwillnothavegonethroughbothslits.-Agreed.
What'syourpoint?
There'snopoint,Ijustthinkit'sagoodideaforaT-shirt.
-Excuseme.-Hangon.
OneacrossisAegean,eightdownisNabokov.
Twenty-sixacrossisMCM.
Fourteendownis--
Moveyourfinger.
--phylum,whichmakes14acrossPort-au-Prince.
See,PapaDoc'scapitalidea,that'sPort-au-Prince.
Haiti.
-CanIhelpyou?
-Yes.
Um,isthisthehigh-lQspermbank?
Ifyouhavetoask,maybeyoushouldn'tbehere.
Ithinkthisistheplace.
-Filltheseout.-Thankyou.
-We'llberightback.-Oh,takeyourtime.
I'lljustfinishmycrosswordpuzzle.
Oh,wait.
Leonard,Idon'tthinkIcandothis.
What,areyoukidding?
you'reasemipro.
No.Wearecommittinggeneticfraud.
There'snoguaranteeoursperm'sgoingtogeneratehigh-lQoffspring.
Thinkaboutthat.
IhaveasisterwiththesamebasicDNAmixwhohostessesatFuddruckers.
Sheldon,thiswasyouridea.
AlittleextramoneytogetfractionalT1bandwidthintheapartment?
Iknow.AndIdoyearnforfasterdownloads.
There'ssomepoorwomanwho'sgonnapinherhopesonmysperm.
Whatifshewindsupwithatoddlerwhodoesn'tknowifheshoulduse...
...adifferentialtosolvefortheareaunderacurve?
-I'msureshe'llstilllovehim.-Iwouldn't.
Well,whatdoyouwannado?
-Iwanttoleave.-Okay.
-What'stheprotocolforleaving?
-Idon'tknow.
I'veneverrenegedonaprofferofspermbefore.
Let'stryjustwalkingout.
Okay.
-Bye.-Bye-bye.
Nicemeetingyou.
-Areyoustillmadaboutthespermbank?
-No.
Youwannahearaninterestingthingaboutstairs?
Notreally.
Iftheheightofastepisoffbyaslittleastwomillimeters...
-...mostpeoplewilltrip.-Idon'tcare.
Twomillime--?
Thatdoesn'tseemright.
It'strue.IdidaseriesofexperimentswhenIwas12.
Myfatherbrokehisclavicle.
Isthatwhytheysentyoutoboardingschool?
No.Thatwastheresultofmyworkwithlasers.
Newneighbor?
SHELDON:
Evidently.
Significantimprovementovertheoldneighbor.
Two-hundredpoundtransvestitewithaskincondition?
Yes,sheis.
Oh,hi.
-Hi.-Hi.
-Hi.-Hi.
Hi?
Wedon'tmeantointerrupt.Weliveacrossthehall.
Oh,that'snice.
No.Wedon'tlivetogether.Imean...
...welivetogether,butinseparate,heterosexualbedrooms.
Okay,well,guessI'myournewneighbor.
-Penny.-Leonard.Sheldon.
-Hi.-Hi.
Hi.
Well....
Oh,welcometothebuilding.
Oh,thankyou.Maybewecanhavecoffeesometime.
-Oh,great.-Great.
-Great.-Great.
Well,bye.
-Bye.-Bye.
Shouldwehaveinvitedherforlunch?
No.We'regonnastartseasontwoofBattlestarGalactica.
WealreadywatchedtheseasontwoDVDs.
Notwithcommentary.
Ithinkweshouldbegoodneighbors.
Inviteherover,makeherfeelwelcome.
WeneverinvitedLouie/Louiseover.
Well,andthatwaswrongofus.
Weneedtowidenourcircle.
Ihaveaverywidecircle.
Ihave212friendsonMySpace.
yes,andyou'venevermetoneofthem.
That'sthebeautyofit.
I'mgonnainviteherover.
We'llhaveanicemealandchat.
Chat?
Wedon'tchat,atleastnotoff-line.
Well,it'snotdifficult.
Youjustlistentowhatshesays...
...andthenyousaysomethingappropriateinresponse.
Towhatend?
-Hi.Again.-Hi.
-Hi.-Hi.
Anyway...
...webroughthomelndianfood...
...andIknowthatmovingcanbestressful...
...andIfindthatwhenI'mundergoingstress...
...thatgoodfoodandcompanycanhaveacomfortingeffect.
Also,curry'sanaturallaxativeandIdon'thavetotellyouthat,youknow...
...acleancolonisjustonelessthingtoworryabout.
I'mnoexpert,butinthecontextofalunchinvitation...
...youmightwannaskipthereferencetobowelmovements.
Oh,you'reinvitingmeovertoeat?
yes.
Oh,that'ssonice.I'dloveto.
Great.
So,whatdoyouguysdoforfunaroundhere?
Well,todaywetriedmasturbatingformoney.
-Okay,well,makeyourselfathome.-Okay.
-Thankyou.-you'reverywelcome.
[MOUTHS]You'reverywelcome.
Thislookslikesomeseriousstuff.Leonard,didyoudothis?
Actually,that'smywork.
Wow.
Yeah,well,it'sjustsomequantummechanics...
...withalittlestringtheorydoodlingaroundtheedges.Thatpart'sjustajoke.
It'saspoofoftheBorn-Oppenheimerapproximation.
Soyou're,like,oneofthoseBeautifulMindgeniusguys.
yeah.
Thisisreallyimpressive.
Ihaveaboard,ifyoulikeboards.Thisismyboard.
Holysmokes.
Ifby"holysmokes,"youmeanaderivativerestatementofthestuff...
...youcanfindscribbledonthewallofanymen'sroomatMlT,sure.
-What?
-Oh,comeon.
Whohasn'tseenthisdifferentialbelow"hereIsitbrokenhearted"?
AtleastIdidn'thavetoinvent26dimensionsjusttomakethemathcomeout.
-Ididn'tinventthem.They'rethere.-lnwhatuniverse?
Inallofthem,thatisthepoint.
DoyouguysmindifIstart?
-Penny.-yeah?
That'swhereIsit.
Sositnexttome.
-No,Isitthere.-What'sthedifference?
-What'sthedifference?
-Herewego.
Inwinter,thatseatiscloseenoughtotheradiatortoremainwarm...
...yetnotsocloseastocauseperspiration.
Inthesummer,it'sinacrossbreezecreatedbyopeningwindowsthereandthere.
Itfacesthetelevisionatananglethatisneitherdirect,discouragingconversation...
...norsofarwideastocreateaparallaxdistortion.
Icouldgoon,butIthinkI'vemademypoint.
Doyouwantmetomove?
-Well....-Justsitsomewhereelse.
Fine.
Sheldon,sit.
Ah.
-Well,thisisnice.-Wedon'thavealotofcompanyover.
That'snottrue.KoothrappaliandWolowitzcomeover.
yes,Iknow.
TuesdaynightweplayedKlingonBoggleuntil1inthemorning.
-Yeah,Iremember.-Iresentyousayingwedon'thavecompany.
-Thathasanegativesocialimplication.-IsaidI'msorry.
So...
...KlingonBoggle?
yeah.It'slikeregularBoggle,butinKlingon.
That'sprobablyenoughaboutus.Sotellusaboutyou.
Me?
Okay.
I'maSagittarius,whichprobablytellsyouwaymorethanyouneedtoknow.
Yes,ittellsusthatyouparticipateinthemassculturaldelusion...
...thatthesun'spositionrelativetoarbitraryconstellations...
...atthetimeofyourbirthsomehowaffectsyourpersonality.
Participateinthewhat?
IthinkwhatSheldon'stryingtosay...
...isthatSagittariuswouldn'thavebeenourfirstguess.
Oh,yeah,alotofpeoplethinkI'mawatersign.
Okay,let'ssee,whatelse?
Oh,I'mavegetarian.
No,exceptforfish,andtheoccasionalsteak.Ilovesteak.
Well,that'sinteresting.
Leonardcan'tprocesscorn.
Sodoyouhavesomesortofajob?
PENNY:
Oh,yeah.
I'mawaitressatTheCheesecakeFactory.
Ilovecheesecake.
-you'relactoseintolerant.-Idon'teatit,Ithinkit'sagoodidea.
Anyways,I'malsowritingascreenplay.
It'saboutthissensitivegirlwhocomestoL.A.fromLincoln,Nebraska...
...tobeanactressandwindsupawaitressatTheCheesecakeFactory.
Soit'sbasedonyourlife.
No,I'mfromOmaha.
Ifthatwasamovie,Iwouldgoseeit.
Iknow,right?
Okay,let'ssee,whatelse?
Iguessthat'saboutit.
That'sthestoryofPenny.
Well,itsoundswonderful.
Itwas.
UntilIfellinlovewithajerk.
Whatishappening?
[MOUTHS]Idon'tknow.
Oh,God,youknow,fouryearsIlivedwithhim.
Fouryears.That'slikeaslongashighschool.
Ittookyoufouryearstogetthroughhighschool?
Ijust--Ican'tbelieveItrustedhim.
ShouldIsaysomething?
IfeelIshouldsaysomething.
you?
No,you'llonlymakeitworse.
youwannaknowthemostpatheticpart?
EventhoughIhatehislying,cheatingguts...
...Istilllovehim.
Isthatcrazy?
yes.
No,it'snotcrazy.It'sa--
It'saparadox.
Paradoxesarepartofnature.Imean,thinkaboutlight.
IfyoulookatHuygens,lightisawave,asconfirmedbythedouble-slitexperiments.
Butthen,alongcomesAlbertEinstein...
...anddiscoversthatlightbehaveslikeparticlestoo.
Well,Ididn'tmakeitworse.
Oh,I'msosorryI'msuchamess.
Andontopofeverythingelse,I'mallgrossfrommoving...
...andmystupidshowerdoesn'twork.
Ourshowerworks.
Really?
WoulditbetotallyweirdifIusedit?
-yes.-No.
-No?
-No.
No.
It'srightdownthehall.
Okay,thanks.
youguysarereallysweet.
Well,thisisaninterestingdevelopment.
LEONARD:
Howso?
SHELDON:
Ithasbeensometime...
...sincewe'vehadawomantakeherclothesoffinourapartment.
That'snottrue.RememberatThanksgiving...
...mygrandmotherwithAlzheimer'shadthatepisode?
Pointtaken.Ithasbeensometimesincewe'vehadawomantakeherclothesoff...
...afterwhichwedidn'twannaripoureyesout.
Theworstpartwaswatchinghercarvethatturkey.
So,whatexactlyareyoutryingtoaccomplishhere?
Excuseme?
Thatwomaninthereisnotgoingtohavesexwithyou.
Well,I'mnottryingtohavesexwithher.
Oh,good.Thenyouwon'tbedisappointed.
Whatmakesyouthinkshewouldn'thavesexwithme?
I'mamaleandshe'safemale.
yes,butnotofthesamespecies.
I'mnotgonnaengageinhypotheticalshere.
-I'mjusttryingtobeagoodneighbor.-Oh,ofcourse.
That'snottosaythatifacarnalrelationshipweretodevelop...
...thatIwouldn'tparticipate.
Howeverbriefly.
Doyouthinkthispossibilitywillbehindered...
...whenshediscoversyourLukeSkywalker"nomoretears"shampoo?
It'sDarthVadershampoo.
[KNOCKlNGONDOOR]
LukeSkywalker'stheconditioner.
-Waittillyouseethis.-It'sfantastic.Unbelievable.
Seewhat?
It'saStephenHawkinglecturefromMlTin1974.
Thisisn'tagoo
- 配套讲稿:
如PPT文件的首页显示word图标,表示该PPT已包含配套word讲稿。双击word图标可打开word文档。
- 特殊限制:
部分文档作品中含有的国旗、国徽等图片,仅作为作品整体效果示例展示,禁止商用。设计者仅对作品中独创性部分享有著作权。
- 关 键 词:
- 生活 大爆炸 第一