英语幽默短剧剧本.docx
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英语幽默短剧剧本.docx
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英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本
篇一:
两个英语幽默短剧剧本ThePocketMoney
英语幽默短剧剧本ThePocketMoney
Scene1(AtSalesman’shome)
N:
Inadarkdirtyhouse,therelivedasmall,dirtysalesman.Healwaysmakesunhealthycandiesandsellsthemtothestudents.Hehasalotofmoneynow.Buthowdoeshemakethecandies?
Oh,xu……Heiscoming!
S:
Hello,doyouknowme?
No?
Oh,letmetellyou.I’mthefamouscandysalesmanattheschoolgate.Mycandiesareverypopular,(展示),Idon’tknowwhy.Thefoolishstudentsalwayscomehere.I’llbeabosssoon!
Candy,money,candy,money……
Oops!
It’stimetomakecandiesnow.(看表)
First,puttheflouronthetable.
Then,water,sugar,flour.(边说边做)
Nowpress,press……
Oh,mydirtyhands!
Nevermind!
Justdoit!
(满不在意的神情)
Press,press……
Oh,mygod!
Nevermind!
Justdoit!
Press,press,thechildrenwillnotknowit,it’sOK,hehehe……Nowletmecutitintopieces!
另一个
白雪公主与七个小矮人SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarfs英文短剧本
旁白:
Onceuponatime,therewasaqueen.ShehadaprettydaughternamedSnowWhite.Soonafterthechildwasborn,thequeendied.Thequeenmarriedanotherqueen.Thestepmotherwasveryjealous.ShedressedSnowWhiteinragsandforcedhertodothehouseworkalldayandallnight,suchassweepandmopthefloor,dosomecleaning,carrywaterandsoon.
白雪:
(Sweepandmopthefloor,dosomecleaning,carrywaterandsoon.)皇后:
I’mthenewqueen.I’mverybeautiful.yousee.Ifanyoneismorebeautifulthanme,I’llkillher.Ihaveamagicmirror.IfIwanttoknowsomething,Itwilltellmesurely.Now,mirror,mirror,comehere!
魔镜:
Yes,I’mcoming.YourMajesty!
Whatdoyouwanttoknow?
皇后:
Mirror,mirror,onthewall.Whoisthefairestoftheall?
魔镜:
Yes.YourMajesty!
Youarethefairestofall,Ithink.Butthereisayounglady.Sheisaswhiteassnow,asredasroseandasblackasebony.Sheismuchmorebeautifulthanyou.
皇后:
Sheismuchmorebeautifulthanme?
Whoisshe?
Tellmequickly.
篇二:
搞笑英语话剧剧本
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表:
西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具:
牛奶两袋,匕首一把,戒子一枚,纸屑若干。
第一幕:
决战紫荆城之颠
旁白:
Aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.
Birdsaredancinginthecold.
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.
Windiscominginsilence.
Anothermysteriousmanapproaches.
Y与X相遇.
X:
oH,Iamsorrytoknockyou!
Y:
Nevermindbaby.
X:
Excuseme,whoareyouonearth?
Couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:
Iwon’tchangemyname!
nomatterwhathappens.I’mthemostfamous——-YeGucheng.Whoareyou?
X:
Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:
Ar,ximenchuixue?
thebestMartialArts?
X:
Great,youknowme!
Todayisyourdeaddate!
Y抱腿:
Please,please……Don’tkillme!
Letmego!
X:
No,Imustkillyou!
Y:
Idon’twanttobekilled.Thereareaeighty-year-oldmotherandathree-yearoldsontobelookedafterbyme!
X:
Noway!
Becausewearefightingnow!
youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说:
Don’tforceme!
X:
Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:
milk,verygood!
Ilikedrinkingit.Howdoyouknowthat?
Y:
pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:
Thanks,
Y:
Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:
Sure,must!
Milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):
Verygood!
verygood!
Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!
?
X:
I’msureIwon’t!
Y:
Imustgiveyoualesson!
IfIdon’tbeatyouthistime,you’llneverbehaveproperly!
3-2-1!
X捂着肚子,蹲下(做痛苦状):
Oach,Oach!
Y大笑:
HaHa……themilkisexceedthetimelimit
(一人路过,x起身跑过去)
X可怜状:
excuseme!
Help,help,Whereisthewashroom?
please,tellme.
Y:
Oh,Isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:
Thanks,byebye.
Y:
byebye(以胜利者的语气,转头,看见花满楼)
Y:
Whoareyou?
H:
Hua—man—-lou!
Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:
Yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC”.
H惊讶:
Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:
Youareright!
H:
Teriffic!
youaretheonemykinglookingfor!
doyouwantjoininus?
Ifyoufollowmy
king,hewillgivewhatyouwant.
Y:
Yes,It’sverygood.
H:
Ok,followme,Let’sgotoseemyking!
第二幕:
无间道
H:
Mydearest!
letmeintroduceyeguchengtoyou!
(指Y)thisisyegucheng.
K:
sitdownplese,yegucheng.
Y:
excuseme,Ihaveaquestion.willyougivemewhatIwantjustifIfollowyou?
King:
yes,Iwill.
Y:
That’sgood.CanyougivemeaMM?
K:
ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme!
Hahaha……
Y:
ofcourse.
美女出场
M:
hello,帅锅..
K:
thisisshangguanxueer.ok,nowlet’shavearitual.
H走到Y前,《婚礼进行曲》起,H神甫状:
Yegucheng!
Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatter
whathappenssuchascoldheadache,poor,rich?
Y:
Yes,Ido.
K:
Huamanlou,come.puttheringonhisfinger!
(音乐停)
X唱着上:
(看到戒指)thisringshouldbemine!
K:
Butwhoareyou?
whyshoulditbelongtoyou?
Y急切:
king!
Dearking!
Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme.
X冷酷:
yegucheng!
Comehere!
Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿:
oldbrother!
Forgiveme!
X:
Forgiveyou?
Why?
Y:
Oncetherewasachancebeforeme,Ilostit.Ifthegodgivemeanotherchance,I’lltell
you“Iloveyou”,Iftheremustbealimitedperiod,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:
Youshallcheatme!
allyoudidarewrong!
howcanyoutellmethelady’s“WC”!
Y:
Ilikegoinglady’sWC.I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:
milk?
Iloveyou.
K:
Don’tsaythat“youloveme”.I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:
What?
(侧耳装着听不到)You—kill—-me?
come,come…(X上去抓住K)
K:
Fuckyou.Imustkillyou!
X:
Howcanyoukillme?
haha……
Y:
Letmehaveatry!
3-2-1(X捂着肚子,蹲下)
M:
oh,whathappened?
(看着X,做惊吓状)areyouok?
(跑
到西门吹雪身边)
Y:
doyouwanttogotowc?
X:
Yes,I……I……do.
Y:
haha,themilkwasadded三聚氰胺beyondstandards.
M:
you,stupid,badbehavior!
goaway!
K;why?
whydoyouhelphim!
whoactuallyareyou?
M:
actually,I’maspysendedbyLuXiaofeng,andIfellinlovewithximenchuixue.K惊讶:
!
you—you—YouareX’lover?
Y:
doyouknow,youarethefirstpersonwhocheatedme!
Ihateyou.(轻声说)letmetellyou,Xwilldie.
M扑倒在X的身边:
X,do’tdie,youshouldbealive,therearemuchhopeinthefutureand
tomorrowisagoodbeginning!
K:
whatamovingstory!
Iwasimpressed!
Y:
lifeisaprogress,butitisdepressedthatitcannotresume!
M:
lifeisaprogress,anditisdelightthatitneedn’tresume!
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏,K吓跑.音乐《再见,警察》起)
Y痛苦状:
Ineveranticipateyoutreatmebythis,why?
tellmewhy?
(Y死,音乐停)
(X咳,H扑到身边,电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起)
M:
X,oh,no,youcan’tdie,wewillgohometogether.
X:
gohome!
?
M:
Tomorrowisanotherday!
evenyouhavethelastsecondtolive,youshouldbealive,notonlyforme,butforourlove.
X:
promiseme,you’llgetonwell,andyou’llneverletgo.
MIpromise.Iwillneverletgo(X死),
M:
bealive!
yeah,bealive!
bealivewithoutahendance!
篇三:
英语搞笑话剧剧本
二人用版本
Scene1(AtSalesman’shome)
N:
Inadarkdirtyhouse,therelivedasmall,dirtysalesman.Healwaysmakesunhealthycandiesandsellsthemtothestudents.Hehasalotofmoneynow.Buthowdoeshemakethecandies?
Oh,xu……Heiscoming!
S:
Hello,doyouknowme?
No?
Oh,letmetellyou.I’mthefamouscandysalesmanattheschoolgate.Mycandiesareverypopular,(展示),Idon’tknowwhy.Thefoolishstudentsalwayscomehere.I’llbeabosssoon!
Candy,money,candy,money……
Oops!
It’stimetomakecandiesnow.(看表)
First,puttheflouronthetable.
Then,water,sugar,flour.(边说边做)
Nowpress,press……
Oh,mydirtyhands!
Nevermind!
Justdoit!
(满不在意的神情)
Press,press……
Oh,mygod!
Nevermind!
Justdoit!
Press,press,thechildrenwillnotknowit,it’sOK,hehehe……Nowletmecutitintopieces
加旁白1人属于4人用)
白雪公主与七个小矮人SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarfs英文短剧本
旁白:
Onceuponatime,therewasaqueen.ShehadaprettydaughternamedSnowWhite.Soonafterthechildwasborn,thequeendied.Thequeenmarriedanotherqueen.Thestepmotherwasveryjealous.ShedressedSnowWhiteinragsandforcedhertodothehouseworkalldayandallnight,suchassweepandmopthefloor,dosomecleaning,carrywaterandsoon.白雪:
(Sweepandmopthefloor,dosomecleaning,carrywaterandsoon.)皇后:
I’mthenewqueen.I’mverybeautiful.yousee.Ifanyoneismorebeautifulthanme,I’llkillher.Ihaveamagicmirror.IfIwanttoknowsomething,Itwilltellmesurely.Now,mirror,mirror,comehere!
魔镜:
Yes,I’mcoming.YourMajesty!
Whatdoyouwanttoknow?
皇后:
Mirror,mirror,onthewall.Whoisthefairestoftheall?
魔镜:
Yes.YourMajesty!
Youarethefairestofall,Ithink.Butthereisayounglady.Sheisaswhiteassnow,asredasroseandasblackasebony.Sheismuchmorebeautifulthanyou.
皇后:
Sheismuchmorebeautifulthanme?
Whoisshe?
Tellmequickly.
四人用版本
Globalwarming
A.Classbegins,goodafternooneveryone.
B.C.D:
Goodafternoon,teacher.
A.First,Iwillaskyouaquestion:
Whatistheseriousproblemnowadays?
B.Ithinkit’stheproblemofenvironmentpollution.
A.It’srelatedtoourcorrectanswer.Butitisn’tcorrectone.
B.Isittheproblemofpopulationincreasing?
A.No.
C.Oh.Igotit.It’sglobalwarming.
A.Right!
Globalwarmingisoneoftheseriousproblemsnowadays.Because……
B.Teacher.Ihaveaquestion.Itwasverycoldindeedthiswinter.Ithinkit’sglobalcooling!
A.Yougotthewrongconcept.Globalwarmingdoesn’tonlymeanthattheweatherisgettinghot,butalsomeanthattheweatherisoutofcontrol.Soitwillbesometimesverycold.
B.Teacher.Whatcauses“globalwarming”?
C.Iknow.Nowpeopledrivetoomanycarsandtheexhaustgasesdischargedbythecarsandlorriespollutetheairandalsodestroythenature.Itcausesglobalwarming.
A.Youareright.Doyouknowwhatwillhappenwiththeglobalwarming?
B.Yes.TheicesinSouthPolearegoingtobemeltedandatthetime,manyislandswillbegraduallyfloodedwithwater.Humanwillhavenoplacestolive.
C.Surely,wedon’twantthatwillhappen.
A.Whatsouldwedotostop“Globalwar
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