幽默英语演讲稿多篇.docx
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幽默英语演讲稿多篇.docx
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幽默英语演讲稿多篇
幽默英语演讲稿
loveyourmother
爱你的母亲
whyareyoucrying,ayoungboyaskedhismom?
你为什么哭?
一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
"becausei'mawoman,"shetoldhim.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
"idon'tunderstand,"hesaid.
我不明白.他回答
hismomjusthuggedhimandsaid,
"andyouneverwill,butthat'so.k.".......
妈妈拥抱了他说,"你永远也不会明白,但没关系..."
laterthelittleboyaskedhisfather,
"whydoesmomseemtocryfornoreason?
".
后来小男孩问他的父亲"妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?
"
"allwomencryfornoreason,"wasallhisdadcouldsay......
"所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣",这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...
thelittleboygrewupandbecameaman,
stillwonderingwhywomencry.
等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,
他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.
finallyheputinacalltogodandwhengodgotbacktohim,heasked"god,whydowomencrysoeasily?
"
最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问"上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?
"
godanswered......
上帝回答:
"whenimadewoman,
idecidedshehadtobespecial.
imadehershoulders
strongenoughtocarry
theweightoftheworld,yet,
madeherarmsgentleenoughtogivefort...
"当我创造女人的时候,
我决定把她造的很特别,
我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,
却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...
igavehertheinnerstrength
toendurechildbirth
andtherejection
thatmanytimeswille
evenfromherownchildren.
我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,
也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,
甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...
igaveherahardness
thatallowsher
tokeepgoingandtakecare
ofherfamilyandfriends,
evenwheneveryoneelsegivesup,throughsicknessandfatiguewithout
plaining....
我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,
并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,
甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,
她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...
igaveherthesensitivitytoloveherchildrenunderanyandallcircumstances.evenwhenherchildhashurtherbadly....
shehastheveryspecialpowertomakeachild'sboo-boofeelbetterandtoquellateenager'sanxietiesandfears....
我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候...
她用那特别的力量,让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰,也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧...
igaveherstrengthtocareforherhusband,despitefaults
andifashionedherfromhisribtoprotecthisheart....
我给她力量关心她的丈夫,尽管他会犯错.我用男人的肋骨创造了女人,使女人可以保护男人的心脏...
igaveherwisdomtoknowthatagoodhusbandneverhurtshiswife,butsometimestestsherstrengthsandherresolvetostandbesidehimunfalteringly....
我给她智慧,让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子,但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心.
forallofthishardwork,
ialsogaveherateartoshed.
itisherstouse
wheneverneededand
itisheronlyweakness....
whenyouseehercry,
tellherhowmuchyouloveher,andallshedoesforeveryone,andeventhough
shemaystillcry,youwillhavemadeherheartfeelgood.
因为这些种种的困难,
我也同样赐她流下眼泪,
这是当她在需要时可以使用的,
这是她唯一的软弱之处...
当你看到她哭泣的时候,
告诉她你有多么地爱她,
告诉她她为所有人所做的一切,
即使这样她可能还是会哭泣,
但你会使她的心里得到安慰.
sheisspecial!
pleasesendthistowomenyouknow,andthosewithmothers,
sisters,andspecialwomenintheirlives.
她是独特的!
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人,有母亲,姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人.
but,alsosendthistomensotheywillunderstandaboutwhatawonderfulthingawomanis.
eachdayisamountainthatmustbeclimbed;withcourageeachstepgetseasier.
但是,也把这个信息传递给男人,因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物.
每一天,生活中都会有必须爬的山,但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松.
loveyourmotheralways
永远爱你的母亲,
andkeephersmiling
并且使她微笑常在
第二篇:
新初中幽默英语演讲稿
新初中幽默英语演讲稿
loveyourmother
爱你的母亲
whyareyoucrying,ayoungboyaskedhismom?
你为什么哭?
一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
"becausei'mawoman,"shetoldhim.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
"idon'tunderstand,"hesaid.
我不明白.他回答
hismomjusthuggedhimandsaid,
"andyouneverwill,butthat'so.k.".......
妈妈拥抱了他说,"你永远也不会明白,但没关系..."
laterthelittleboyaskedhisfather,
"whydoesmomseemtocryfornoreason?
".
后来小男孩问他的父亲"妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?
"
"allwomencryfornoreason,"wasallhisdadcouldsay......
"所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣",这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...
thelittleboygrewupandbecameaman,
stillwonderingwhywomencry.
等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,
他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.
finallyheputinacalltogodandwhengodgotbacktohim,heasked"god,whydowomencrysoeasily?
"
最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问"上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?
"
godanswered......
上帝回答:
"whenimadewoman,
idecidedshehadtobespecial.
imadehershoulders
strongenoughtocarry
theweightoftheworld,yet,
madeherarmsgentleenoughtogivefort...
"当我创造女人的时候,
我决定把她造的很特别,
第三篇:
七年级五班英语幽默故事大赛演讲稿
七年级五班英语幽默故事大赛演讲稿
doyoulikestories?
iwanttotellyouatruestory.
ithappenedtoafriendofmineayearago.
whilemyfriend,george,wasreadinginbed,twothievesclimbedintohiskitchen.
aftertheyhadenteredthehouse,
theywentintothediningroom.
itwasverydark,
sotheyturnedonatorch.
suddenly,theyheardavoicebehindthem.‘what’sup?
what’sup?
’someonecalled.thethievesdroppedthetorch
andranawayasquicklyastheycould.
georgeheardthenoise
andcamedownstairsquickly.
heturnedonthelight,
buthecouldn’tseeanyone.
thethieveshadalreadygone.
butgeorge’sparrot,henry,wasstillthere.‘what’sup,george?
’hecalled.
‘nothing,henry.’georgesaidandsmiled.‘gobacktosleep.’
第四篇:
幽默英语
英语幽默对话buyyouadrink?
(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?
)女:
actuallyi'dratherhavethemoney.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱.)
经典对话二:
男:
canihaveyourname?
(直译:
我能有你的名字吗?
)
女:
why?
don'tyoualreadyhaveone?
(为什么?
你不是已经有一个了吗?
)经典对话三:
男:
i'maphotographer.i'vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.(我是摄影师。
我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
)
女:
i'maplasticsurgeon.i'vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.(我是整形外科医生。
我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
)
经典对话四:
男:
isthisseatempty?
(直译:
这个座位是空的吧?
)
女:
yes,andthisonewillbeifyousitdown.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。
)经典对话五:
男:
haven'tiseenyousomeplacebefore?
(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?
)
女:
yes.that'swhyidon'tgothereanymore.(是的。
这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。
)
经典对话六:
男:
willyougooutwithmethissaturday?
(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?
)女:
sorry.i'mhavingaheadachethisweekend.(抱歉。
这个周末我头疼。
)经典对话七:
男:
ithinkicouldmakeyouveryhappy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。
)
女:
why?
areyouleaving?
(是吗?
你是说你要离开?
)
第五篇:
英语幽默
theinsaneasylum
lateonenightattheinsaneasylum,oneinmateshouted,“iamnapoleon.”anotheronesaid,“howdoyouknow?
”.
thefirstinmatesaid,“godtoldme!
”
justthen,avoicefromanotherroomshouted,“ididnot!
”
improvement
onestudentsaidtoanother,“howareyourenglishlessonsingalong?
”
“fine,iusedtobeonewhocouldn’tunderstandtheenglishmen,andnowit’stheenglishmenwhocan’tunderstandme.”
allexceptthemusic
akeenyoungteacherwantedtointroduceherclasstothegloriesofclassicalmusic,soshearrangedanoutingtoanafternoonconcert.tomaketheoccasionevenmorememorable,shetreatedeveryonetolomonade,cake,chocsandices.justasthepartywasgettingbackintotheircoach,shesaidtolittlesally,“haveyouenjoyedyourselftoday?
”
“oh,yes,miss”saidsally,“itwaslovely.allexceptthemusic,thatis.”
halforfivetenths
teacher:
wouldyouratherhaveonehalfofanorangeorfivetenths?
gerad:
iwouldmuchratherhavethehalf.
teacher:
thinkcarefullyandtellmewhy.
gerad:
becauseyoulosetoomuchjuicewhenyoucuttheorangeintofivetenths.
thereasonforbeinglate
teacher:
whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?
jonny:
becauseeverytimeigettothecorner,aguidepostsays,“school-----goslowly”.
whendopeopletalkleast?
sta:
whendopeopletalkleast?
stb:
infebruary.
sta:
why?
stb:
becausefebruaryistheshortestmonthinayear.
pluralformofchild
t:
what’sthepluralformof“man”?
s:
it’s“men”,.
t:
goodandthepluralof“child”?
s:
twins.
mysister’sfingers
t:
whyareyoulatethistime?
s:
pleasesir,ibruisedtwofingersknockinganailathome.
t:
idon’tseeanybandages.
s:
oh,theyweren’tmyfingers!
itoldmylittlesistertoholdthenail.
whatistheclimateofnewzealand
t:
what’stheclimateofnewzealand?
s:
verycold,sir.
t:
wrong.
s:
but,sir!
whentheysendusmeatitalwaysarrivesfrozen!
lightening
t:
whythelighteningneverstrikethesameplacetwice?
s:
becausethestrokeplaceisn’tthereanymore.
howmanyrabbits?
t:
now,jonathan,ifigaveyouthreerabbitsandthenthenextdayigavefiverabbits,howmanyrabbitswouldyouhave?
s:
nine,sir!
t:
nine?
s:
i’vegotonealready.
togotoheaven
sundayschoolteacher:
handsupallthosewhowanttogotoheaven?
handsup……whataboutyou,terry?
youhavent’sgotyourhandup----don’tyouwanttogotoheaven?
terry:
ican’t.mymumtoldmetogostraighthome.
iwasn’tasleep
whenagroupofwomengotonthebus,alltheseatswearoccupied.theconductornoticedamanwhoseemedtobeasleep,andfearinghemightmisshisstop,henudgedhimandsaid,“wakeup,sir!
”
“iwasnotasleep,”saidtheman.
“notasleep?
butyouhadyoureyesclosed.”
“iknow.ijusthatetolookatladiesstandingupbesidemeinacrowdedcar”
ourtails
alectureronevolutionhadbeengoingonfornearlytwohoursandthenhestartedagain,andhesaid,“letmeasktheevolutionistaquestion----ifwehadtailslikeababoon,wherearethey?
”
“i’llventureananswer,”saidanoldlady.“wehavewornthemoffsittingheresolong.”
theumbrella
agentlemanstayinginahotellefthisumbrellainthehall.heputonthehandleacardonwhichwasritten:
“thisumbrellabelongstoagentlemanwhocanliftup100poundsandishallbebackintenminutes.”
whenhecameback,hefound,insteadofhisumbrella,anothercardonwhichwasritten:
“thiscardbelongstoamanwhocanruntenmilesanhour,ishallnoteback.”
thegreatevent
t:
whatgreateventhappenedin1809?
s:
abrahamlincolnwasborn?
t:
right!
andwhatgreateventhappenedin1812?
s:
lincolnhadhisthirdbirthday.
alwaysshare!
anoldcouplewentintoarestaurantandorderedsomethingtoeat:
onecocacolaandoneportionoffrenchfries.theoldmansatdownandthewoman,hiswife,satoppositehim,andhebegantodividethecodacolaintotwoglasses,halfforhimandhalfforhiswife.hedevidedallthefrechfrieshalf-and-half..hegavehalftohiswifeandkepthalf
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