讲英语笑话word版.docx
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讲英语笑话word版.docx
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讲英语笑话word版
讲英语笑话_最经典英文笑话
英文笑话一眼就看中Thegirlfoundthego-betweenandsaid,Youcheatedme!
Oneofhiseyesisnottrue.Whydidn'tyoutellmethisbefore?
Ihavetoldyou.saidthego-betweenwithjusticeonhisside,Whenyoumetfirst,Itoldyouthathesettledonyouwithoneeye.Notes:
(1)go-betweenn.媒人
(2)settleon选定;决定Exercises:
根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F)①Thegirlwasangrywiththego-betweenforhavingcheatedher.②Thegirlmarriedtheone-eyedman.③Thego-betweenhadn'ttoldthegirlthefact.④Thego-betweenthoughtthatjusticewasonhisside.⑤Thegirlhadn'tfullyunderstoodthego-between'swords.11一眼就看中姑娘找到媒人,说“你欺骗了我。
他的一只眼是假眼,你以前为什么不告诉我?
”“怎么没告诉你?
”媒人也不甘示弱,“你们第一回见面后,我就说,他一眼就看中你了。
”
借公牛一用Onceuponatime,therelivedarichman,buthedidn'tknowanywords.Oneday,oneofhisfriendswantedtoborrowanoxfromhim,sohewroteanoteandaskedhisservanttotakeittothisrichman.Aftertheservantgavethenotetotherichman,hepretendedtobereadingitandafterawhile,hesaid,OK,Iknow.Goandtellyourmaster,I'llgomyselfshortly.Notes:
(1)hepretendedtobereadingit他假装读着字条。
(2)pretendtodo佯装做Exercises:
根据短文回答下列问题①Whendidthestorytakeplace?
②Whatproblemdidtherichmanhave?
③Whatdidhisfriendwanttoborrowfromhim?
④Whotookthenotetotherichman?
⑤Therichmanmadeafoolofhimself,didn'the?
11借公牛一用从前,有个人很富有,但他不识字。
一天,他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛,便写了个条,让仆人送到富人那里。
仆人把条子给了富人。
富人便假装看了一会儿,然后说道“好啦,我知道了。
回去告诉你的主人,我马上自己过去。
”练习参考答案①Alongtimeago.②Hedidn'tknowandwords.③Anox.④Theservant.
⑤Yes,hedid.Youmayselect可以选择Thehusbandcomplainedthathiswifealwayscookedthesamedish.Oneday,thehusbandgothomeandaskedhiswife,Mydear,whatwillweeattoday?
Thewifesaid,Youmayselectthedishtoday.Thehusbandwasverygladandasked,Whichdishesaretheretoday?
Cabbage.Theothers?
None.Thenhowtoselect?
Eatornoteat!
thewifesaid.Notes:
(1)complainv.抱怨
(2)cabbagen.白菜Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案①Whatdidthehusbandcomplainabout?
A.Hiswifesometimescookedthesamedish.B.Hiswifeseldomcookedthesamedish.C.Hiswifealwayscookedthesamedish.D.Hiswifedidn'tcookanydish.②Whatquestiondidthehusbandaskoneday?
A.Heaskedwhattheywouldcat.B.Heaskediftherewasanythingtoeat.C.Heaskediftherewasanymeat.D.Heaskediftherewasanycabbage.③Thewifetoldhimthat_____.A.therewasnomeatB.therewasalotofcabbageC.he
讲英语笑话_英语小笑话
校园幽默四则TwoBirdsTeacher:
Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?
Student:
IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:
Pleasetellus.Student:
Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesidetheswallow.两只鸟老师这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师请说说看。
学生燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
TheFishNet"Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?
""Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings."repliedthelittlegirl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?
"老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
"小女孩回答道。
TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember."George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?
"askedhismother."Ididn'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthreeweresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo....."新老师
9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?
"妈妈问。
"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6,可后来又说2加4也得6。
"AphysicsExaminationOnceinaphysicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.Thequestionwas:
Whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?
Nick'sanswer:
Becauseoureyesarebeforeears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?
尼克的回答是因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
经典英语小笑话thelowestgrade"Professor,IdidthebestIcouldonthistest.Ireallydon'tthinkIdeserveazero.""NeitherdoI.Butthat'sthelowestgradeI'mallowedtogive."最低分学生“教授先生,我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。
我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。
”老师“我也是。
但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!
”RealPlayWhenItaughttheintroduction-to-theatercourseatNorthDakotaStateUniversity,Irequiredmystudentstoattendtheuniversitytheater'scurrentproductionandwriteacritique.Afterviewingaparticularlyfineperformance,
onestudentwrote:
"Theplaywassoreal,IthoughtIwasactuallysittingonmycouchathome,watchingitontelevision."逼真的戏剧我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时,要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出,并写一篇评论。
看了一场极为精彩的演出后,一名学生写道“这部戏剧是如此逼真,以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上,从电视上看到的。
”本贴来自天极网群乐社区--'SEXCUSETeacher:
Tom,whyareyoulateforschooleveryday?
Tom:
EverytimeIcometothecorner,asignsays,"School-GoSlow".汤姆的借口老师汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着"学校----慢行。
"DIDYOURDADHELPYOU?
Oneday,Tim'smathematicsteacherlookedathishomeworkandsawthathehadgotallhissumsright.Theteacherwasverypleased-andrathersurprised.HecalledTimtohisdeskandsaidtohim,
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