loveisfallacy中英文对照.docx

loveisfallacy中英文对照.docx

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loveisfallacy中英文对照

LoveisFallacy

byMaxShulman

CoolwasIandlogical.Keen，calculating，perspicacious,acuteandastute-Iwasallofthese.Mybrainwasaspowerfulasadynamo，preciseasachemist'sscales，aspenetratingasascalpel.And—thinkofit！

—Ionlyeighteen.

Itisnotoftenthatonesoyounghassuchagiantintellect。

Take,forexample，PeteyBellows,myroommateattheuniversity.Sameage,samebackground,butdumbasanox.Aniceenoughfellow,youunderstand,butnothingupstairs。

Emotionaltype.Unstable.Impressionable.Worstofall,afaddist.Fads,Isubmit，aretheverynegationofreason。

Tobesweptupineverynewcrazethatcomesalong，tosurrenderoneselftoidiocyjustbecauseeverybodyelseisdoingit—this，tome，istheacmeofmindlessness.Not,however，toPetey。

OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbedwithanexpressionofsuchdistressonhisfacethatIimmediatelydiagnosedappendicitis。

“Don’tmove，”Isaid,“Don’ttakealaxative。

I’llgetadoctor.”

“Raccoon，”hemumbledthickly.

“Raccoon？

"Isaid，pausinginmyflight。

“Iwantaraccooncoat，”hewailed.

Iperceivedthathistroublewasnotphysical,butmental。

“Whydoyouwantaraccooncoat?

”

“Ishouldhaveknownit，”hecried，poundinghistemples.“Ishouldhaveknownthey’dcomebackwhentheCharlestoncameback.LikeafoolIspentallmymoneyfortextbooks，andnowIcan’tgetaraccooncoat.”

“Canyoumean,”Isaidincredulously，“thatpeopleareactuallywearingraccooncoatsagain？

"

“AlltheBigMenonCampusarewearingthem.Where’veyoubeen？

”

“Inthelibrary,”Isaid，namingaplacenotfrequentedbyBigMenonCampus.

Heleapedfromthebedandpacedtheroom.“I’vegottohavearaccooncoat，”hesaidpassionately.“I’vegotto！

”

“Petey，why?

Lookatitrationally.Raccooncoatsareunsanitary。

Theyshed。

Theysmellbad.Theyweightoomuch。

They’reunsightly.They-”

“Youdon'tunderstand，”heinterruptedimpatiently。

“It'sthethingtodo。

Don’tyouwanttobeintheswim?

”

“No，"Isaidtruthfully.

“Well,Ido,”hedeclared。

“I'dgiveanythingforaraccooncoat。

Anything!

”

Mybrain，thatprecisioninstrument,slippedintohighgear。

“Anything?

”Iasked,lookingathimnarrowly.

“Anything，”heaffirmedinringingtones.

Istrokedmychinthoughtfully。

ItsohappenedthatIknewwheretogetmyhandsonaraccooncoat。

Myfatherhadhadoneinhisundergraduatedays；itlaynowinatrunkintheatticbackhome.ItalsohappenedthatPeteyhadsomethingIwanted.Hedidn’thaveitexactly，butatleasthehadfirstrightsonit。

Irefertohisgirl，PollyEspy。

IhadlongcovetedPollyEspy。

Letmeemphasizethatmydesireforthisyoungwomanwasnotemotionalinnature。

Shewas,tobesure,agirlwhoexcitedtheemotions,butIwasnotonetoletmyheartrulemyhead。

IwantedPollyforashrewdlycalculated,entirelycerebralreason.

Iwasafreshmaninlawschool。

InafewyearsIwouldbeoutinpractice.Iwaswellawareoftheimportanceoftherightkindofwifeinfurtheringalawyer’scareer.ThesuccessfullawyersIhadobservedwere，almostwithoutexception，marriedtobeautiful,gracious，intelligentwomen。

Withoneomission,Pollyfittedthesespecificationsperfectly.

Beautifulshewas.Shewasnotyetofpin—upproportions，butIfeltthattimewouldsupplythelack。

Shealreadyhadthemakings.

Graciousshewas.BygraciousImeanfullofgraces。

Shehadanerectnessofcarriage，aneaseofbearing,apoisethatclearlyindicatedthebestofbreeding.Attablehermannerswereexquisite。

IhadseenherattheKozyKampusKornereatingthespecialtyofthehouse—asandwichthatcontainedscrapsofpotroast,gravy，choppednuts,andadipperofsauerkraut-withoutevengettingherfingersmoist。

Intelligentshewasnot。

Infact,sheveeredintheoppositedirection。

ButIbelievedthatundermyguidanceshewouldsmartenup。

Atanyrate，itwasworthatry。

Itis，afterall，easiertomakeabeautifuldumbgirlsmartthantomakeanuglysmartgirlbeautiful。

“Petey，”Isaid,“areyouinlovewithPollyEspy？

"

“Ithinkshe’sakeenkid,"hereplied，“butIdon’tknowifyou’dcallitlove。

Why？

”

“Doyou，”Iasked，“haveanykindofformalarrangementwithher?

Imeanareyougoingsteadyoranythinglikethat?

”

“No.Weseeeachotherquiteabit，butwebothhaveotherdates。

Why?

”

“Isthere，”Iasked,“anyothermanforwhomshehasaparticularfondness？

”

“NotthatIknowof。

Why？

"

Inoddedwithsatisfaction。

“Inotherwords,ifyouwereoutofthepicture,thefieldwouldbeopen.Isthatright？

”

“Iguessso。

Whatareyougettingat?

”

“Nothing,nothing，"Isaidinnocently,andtookmysuitcaseoutthecloset.

“Whereareyougoing？

"askedPetey.

“Homeforweekend。

”Ithrewafewthingsintothebag.

“Listen，”hesaid，clutchingmyarmeagerly，“whileyou’rehome，youcouldn’tgetsomemoneyfromyouroldman,couldyou，andlendittomesoIcanbuyaraccooncoat？

”

“Imaydobetterthanthat，"Isaidwithamysteriouswinkandclosedmybagandleft。

“Look，”IsaidtoPeteywhenIgotbackMondaymorning.Ithrewopenthesuitcaseandrevealedthehuge，hairy，gamyobjectthatmyfatherhadworninhisStutzBearcatin1925.

“HolyToledo!

”saidPeteyreverently。

Heplungedhishandsintotheraccooncoatandthenhisface。

“HolyToledo!

”herepeatedfifteenortwentytimes.

“Wouldyoulikeit？

”Iasked.

“Ohyes！

”hecried,clutchingthegreasypelttohim.Thenacannylookcameintohiseyes。

“Whatdoyouwantforit?

"

“Yourgirl。

"Isaid,mincingnowords.

“Polly？

”hesaidinahorrifiedwhisper.“YouwantPolly?

”

“That’sright.”

Heflungthecoatfromhim.“Never，"hesaidstoutly。

Ishrugged.“Okay。

Ifyoudon’twanttobeintheswim，Iguessit'syourbusiness.”

Isatdowninachairandpretendedtoreadabook,butoutofthecornerofmyeyeIkeptwatchingPetey。

Hewasatornman。

Firsthelookedatthecoatwiththeexpressionofawaifatabakerywindow.Thenheturnedawayandsethisjawresolutely。

Thenhelookedbackatthecoat，withevenmorelonginginhisface.Thenheturnedaway，butwithnotsomuchresolutionthistime.Backandforthhisheadswiveled,desirewaxing,resolutionwaning。

Finallyhedidn'tturnawayatall;hejuststoodandstaredwithmadlustatthecoat.

“Itisn’tasthoughIwasinlovewithPolly,"hesaidthickly.“Orgoingsteadyoranythinglikethat."

“That’sright,”Imurmured.

“What'sPollytome，ormetoPolly？

”

“Notathing，”saidI.

“It'sjustbeenacasualkick—justafewlaughs,that’sall.”

“Tryonthecoat，”saidI.

Hecomplied。

Thecoatbunchedhighoverhisearsanddroppedallthewaydowntohisshoetops。

Helookedlikeamoundofdeadraccoons.“Fitsfine，”hesaidhappily。

Irosefrommychair.“Isitadeal？

”Iasked,extendingmyhand。

Heswallowed。

“It’sadeal,"hesaidandshookmyhand.

IhadmyfirstdatewithPollythefollowingevening。

Thiswasinthenatureofasurvey;IwantedtofindoutjusthowmuchworkIhadtodotogetherminduptothestandardIrequired。

Itookherfirsttodinner。

“Gee,thatwasadelishdinner,”shesaidaswelefttherestaurant。

ThenItookhertoamovie.“Gee，thatwasamarvymovie,”shesaidasweleftthetheatre。

AndthenItookherhome.“Gee,Ihadasensayshtime，"shesaidasshebademegoodnight。

Iwentbacktomyroomwithaheavyheart.Ihadgravelyunderestimatedthesizeofmytask。

Thisgirl’slackofinformationwasterrifying.Norwoulditbeenoughmerelytosupplyherwithinformation。

Firstshehadtobetaughttothink.Thisloomedasaprojectofnosmalldimensions，andatfirstIwastemptedtogiveherbacktoPetey.ButthenIgottothinkingaboutherabundantphysicalcharmsandaboutthewaysheenteredaroomandthewayshehandledaknifeandfork，andIdecidedtomakeaneffort.

Iwentaboutit，asinallthings，systematically.Igaveheracourseinlogic。

IthappenedthatI，asalawstudent，wastakingacourseinlogicmyself,soIhadallthefactsatmyfingertips。

“Poll’,”IsaidtoherwhenIpickedheruponournextdate,“tonightwearegoingovertotheKnollandtalk。

”

“Oo,terrif，"shereplied。

OnethingIwillsayforthisgirl：

youwouldgofartofindanothersoagreeable.

WewenttotheKnoll，thecampustrystingplace，andwesatdownunderanoldoak，andshelookedatmeexpectantly。

“Whatarewegoingtotalkabout?

"sheasked.

“Logic。

”

Shethoughtthisoverforaminuteanddecidedshelikedit。

“Magnif，”shesaid.

“Logic,"Isaid,clearingmythroat，“isthescienceofthinking.Beforewecanthinkcorrectly,wemustfirstlearntorecognizethecommonfallaciesoflogic.Thesewewilltakeuptonight.”

“Wow-dow！

”shecried，clappingherhandsdelightedly。

Iwinced，butwentbravelyon.“FirstletusexaminethefallacycalledDictoSimpliciter."

“Byallmeans，”sheurged，battingherlasheseagerly。

“DictoSimplicitermeansanargumentbasedonanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forexample:

Exerciseisgood。

Thereforeeverybodyshouldexercise.”

“Iagree,”saidPollyearnestly。

“Imeanexerciseiswonderful。

Imeanitbuildsthebodyandeverything."

“Polly,”Isaidgently，“theargumentisafallacy。

Exerciseisgoodisanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forinstance,ifyouhaveheartdisease,exerciseisbad,notgood.Manypeopleareorderedbytheirdoctorsnottoexercise.Youmustqualifythegeneralization。

Youmustsayexerciseisusuallygood，orexerciseisgoodformostpeople.OtherwiseyouhavecommittedaDictoSimpliciter.Doyousee？

”

“No,”sheconfessed.“Butthisismarvy。

Domore!

Domore!

”

“Itwillbebetterifyoustoptuggingatmysleeve，"Itoldher，andwhenshedesisted，Icontinued。

“NextwetakeupafallacycalledHastyGeneralization。

Listencarefully：

Youcan'tspeakFrench。

PeteyBellowscan