South Park210.docx
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South Park210.docx
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SouthPark210
SouthPark
2X10-ChickenPox
[Hell'sPassHospital.SharonandthedoctorstandbeforeShelley'sbed.]
Dr.Doctor:
It'sagoodthingwegothertothehospitalintime.
Sharon:
Butwhat'swrongwithher?
Dr.Doctor:
It'schickenpox.Thereseemstobeasmallepidemicgoingaround.Yourdaughterneverhadthechickenpoxasalittlechild,Itakeit?
Sharon:
No,uh-no,she'sbeenperfectlyhealthy.
Dr.Doctor:
Well,that'stheproblem.Yousee,chickenpoxisaprettynormalthingforyoungchildren.Butasyougetolderitbecomesmoreandmorea-ferociousdisease.[thedooropensandStanenters]
Sharon:
[sweetly]Shelley,lookwho'scometovisityou;yourlittlebrother,Stan.
Shelley:
[indisgust]Oh,whoo-peee!
Dr.Doctor:
Youknow,mostpeopledon'trealizethatchickenpoxisactuallyaformofherpes.
Stan:
Dude,you'vegotherpesonyourface!
Shelley:
Shutup,brat!
Sharon:
[withsomeurgency]Willmydaughterbeokay?
Dr.Doctor:
She'llbefine.
Shelley:
[Stanscratcheshercheek]Stopit!
Dr.Doctor:
Wejustwanttobecautiousandmonitorherhere.
Stan:
[Acrashisheard,andSharonandthedoctorlookoninsurprise]OOOWWW!
[ShelleyhasknockedStandown]
Sharon:
Comeon,Stanley.Giveyoursisterakissandthenwehavetogo.
[TheBroflovskihouse.Sharon,Sheila,andLianeareseatedatthediningroomtable.Ikeisplayinginhishighchair]
Sharon:
卆ndthenthedoctorsaidthatit'smuchworseasyougetolder.Mydaughterisinprettybadshapenow,butifshewereinhertwenties,shecoulddie.
Sheila:
MyGod,Ineverknewchickenpoxwassuchadangerousillness.
Liane:
Iguessit'smuchbettertogetitwhenyou'reyoung.
Sharon:
SotellmeifI'mcrazy,butIstartedthinkingthatweshouldintentionallyhaveourboysplaywithachildwhohasthechickenpox.Letthemgetitnow,whilethey'reyoung.
Sheila:
That'snotcrazyatall,Sharon.Mothersdoitallthetime.
Liane:
Oh,yes.WhenIwasachild,mymotherhadmegoovertoalittlegirl'shousewhohadthechickenpox,justsoIwouldgetit.
Sharon:
Soit'snotsuchacrazyideaafterall?
Sheila:
Noo,no.AndI'mprettysurethatstrangelittleboyKennyhasthechickenpoxrightnow.[Kyle,Stan,andCartmanwalkuptothetable]
Kyle:
Areyouguyshavingameetingorsomething?
Sheila:
HowwouldyouboysliketohavealittleslumberpartyatyourfriendKenny'shousetonight?
Cartman:
Noway,dude.Kenny'sfamily'spoor;theyliveintheghetto.
Kyle:
Yeah.Let'sjusthaveaslumberpartyhere.
Sharon:
Boys,you'regoingtosleepoveratKenny's,andthat'sfinal!
Cartman:
Ohweak!
[Theboyshavegonehometogathertheirthings.NowtheymeetupandwalktoKenny'shouse]
Kyle:
IwonderwhyourmomswantustosleepoveratKenny'ssobad.
Stan:
Yeah,it'sprettyweird.[theboyscrosssomerailroadtracks]
Kyle:
Well,allIcansayis,he'sbetterhaveNintendo!
[theycometoahousewithanorangecatandasmallgraydog.Strewnabouttheyardareamotor,asofa,arefrigator,apackofbeerbottles匽Well,here'sKenny'shouse.
Cartman:
Intheghetto
OnacoldandgrayChicagomornanotherlittlebabychildisborn
IntheghettoIntheghetto
Mr.McCormick:
[Stanknocksandthedooropens]Yeah?
Stan:
We'reheretohaveaslumberpartywithKenny.
Mr.McCormick:
[beerinhand]What?
Don'tyouknowKenny'ssickwith-?
Mrs.McCormick:
[intruding]That'sthewholepoint,remember?
?
Theirmomswantthemtocatchitwhilethey'reyoung.
Mr.McCormick:
Ohyeah.
Stan:
Catchwhat?
Mrs.McCormick:
Nothin'.Uhco-uh,comeonin,Iwasjus'makin'dinner.[theboysfollowtheparentsin.Shagcarpeting,anothersofa,anengineblockdoublingasacoffeetable,abeersign匽
Cartman:
Andhismommacried
'Causeifthere'sonethingthatshedon'tneedisanotherlittlehungrymouthtofeed
IntheghettoIntheghetto
Stan:
[Mr.McCormicksitsinhisarmchair]Sshh!
Cartman!
Cartman:
What?
Mrs.McCormick:
[settingtable]Kenny,yourlittlefriendsarehere!
Comeplaywiththem!
Kenny:
(No,Mom,I'mseriouslysick!
)
Mrs.McCormick:
Iknowyou'resick!
Nowgetyourbunsouthere!
Kyle:
Heheheh,bun.
Kenny:
[walksuptotheotherboys](Heyyouguys,what'sgoin'on?
)
Stan:
Whoa,dude!
You'vegotherpesonyourface,too!
Cartman:
[scanning]Whereisthe-Nintendo?
Mr.McCormick:
Wedon'thaveaNintendo.WegotaColecoVisionhookeduptotheblack-and-whiteTV.[ratsscurrynearit]
Kyle:
OhmyGod.Thisislikeathird-worldcountry.
Mrs.McCormick:
[nowfinishedsettingtable]ThrowyoursleepingbagsinKenny'sroomandthencomegrabsomedinner.
Cartman:
Oh,good.I'mstarving.
[Theboysareseated,asareKenny'sparents.Kenny'solderbrothercomestotable.Allthereistoeatisaplateof5or6frozenwafflesandatoastertotoastthemin.Theboyscanonlywonder]
Mrs.McCormick:
Let'ssaygrace.[Theboysputtheirhandstogether]
Mr.McCormick:
Lord,wethankyouforthisstaggeringpayloadoffrozenwafflesyouhavebestoweduponus.Andnsincewehavebeenfaithfultoyou,weknowthatyouwillsendussomegoodfortuneoneofthesedays,eventhoughyousureashellseemtobetakingyoursweettime.Amen.
All:
Amen.
Cartman:
Pfff
Mrs.McCormick:
Okay,let'sdigin.[dropsawaffleintothetoaster]
Kenny'sbrother:
Thatone'smine,thatone'smine!
Cartman:
[coolly]Whatkindofsidedisheswillwebeenjoyingthiseveningwithourfrozenwaffles?
[everyonestopsandwaits]AmItounderstandtherewillbenosidedishes?
Mr.McCormick:
So,Kyle,yourdad'sstillbringinghomethosebig,fat,lawyerpaychecks?
Kyle:
Idon'tknow.
Mrs.McCormick:
Stuart,don'tevengetstarted!
[shepointsathim]
Stuart:
[tohiswife]What?
I'mjustaskin'aquestion.[toKyle]Youknow,yourdadandIusedtobebestfriendswhenwewereteenagers.WewouldworktogetheratPizzaShack.ButhegotpromotedandwentofftocommunitycollegeandIdidn't.Andyouknowwhy?
'Causeyourdad'sJewish!
Cartman:
Puh.Iheardthat!
Mrs.McCormick:
Thataintwhy,Stuart!
[sadnesscreepsintohervoice]It'sbecauseyouareanalcoholicretardandhehaddreamsofnoteatingfrozenwafflesfordinnereverynight!
[thump]
Stuart:
Hey,isitmyfaultyoudon'tknowhowtocook?
!
Mrs.McCormick:
WhatamIsupposedtodowithfrozenwaffles,clamhead?
!
Youput'eminthetoasterandyoucook'em!
Stuart:
Youjustdon'tknowhowtousedspicesandstuff.
Kenny'sbrother:
[gleefully]Mywaffle'sd-hun,mywaffle'sd-hu-hun!
Mrs.McCormick:
NowKevin,weain'tgotenoughforeverybody.Youhavetosplitthatwithyourbrother.
Cartman:
Oh,Jesus.Areyoufuckingkiddingme?
Stuart:
Ey!
Wedon'tsay'fuck'atthetable,youlittleasshole!
Cartman:
[hushed]Heh,weapparentlydon'tsay'sidedishes'atthetable,either.
Kenny:
(Aa-choo!
)
Mrs.McCormick:
Kenny,honey,ifyou'regoingtosneeze,sneezeonthem.
Stan:
Huh?
Kenny:
[turningtoCartman](Waa-choo!
)
Cartman:
[recoiling]Ey!
[heclosesbothhiseyes,butthenopenstherightone]
[Kenny'sroom.Theboysenterit.Kennyhastwopostersofbikini-cladwomenandoneofa4X4monstertruck.Hiscurtainsaretattersandhisdresserdrawerisabatteredsuitcase.Hisbedhasnoframetoreston]
Cartman:
Man,yourfamilysucksass,Kenny.Whoeverheardoffrozenwafflesfordinner?
Kyle:
Comeon!
Let'sjustgetinoursleepingbagsandgetthisnightoverwith!
[TheboysgototheirrespectivesleepingbagswhileKennygoestohisbed.Theboysrolldowntheirbagsandthisiswhatthebagssay]
Kyle:
Cartman!
Whatthehellisthat?
!
Cartman:
It'smyUrkelsleepingbag.Isn'titcoool?
?
Kyle:
No,it'snotcool!
Stan:
Dude,IthinkIjustsawarat!
Cartman:
Agh!
Youhaveratsinyourhouse,too,Kenny?
!
Kenny:
(Uh-huh.)
Cartman:
Dude,seriously,you'dbetterstopbeingsopoor,orelseI'mgonnastarthuckin'rocksatcha.
Stan:
Idon'tthinkit'sveryhealthytosleepwithrats.
Kenny:
(Well,there'sgonnabeabunchofratsuntiltheyputthefreakin'ceilingin.)
Stan:
Oh.[theboyssettlein,andKennyclapstwice.Thelightsgoout]
Kenny:
(Aa-choo!
)
[Thenextday.Theboyshavegonebackhome.Firstup:
Stan'shouse.Stanhasathermometerinhismouthandthefirstpoxonhisface]
Sharon:
Okay,lemmesee.[withdrawsitandreadsit]Oh,goody!
You'vegotafever!
Stan:
[mad]Goody?
?
Whatdoyoumean,'goody'?
!
Sharon:
Yyup,itlookslikeyou'vegotchickenpoxalright.
Stan:
Chickenpo-?
Ohno,ImusthavecaughtitfromKennylastnight.
Sharon:
Oh,gee,Iguessyoudid.
Stan:
Well,yousureseemhappyaboutit!
Sharon:
Allright,it'sofftobedwithyou,youngman.
[Cartman'shouse.Cartmnisonthesofapickingathispox]
Liane:
Don'tscratchit,hon.
Cartman:
[whining]Butmom,seriously,ititches.Ican'tstandit!
Liane:
No,hon.
Cartman:
Mom,seriously,ititches.Ititches.
Liane:
Here,Igotyousomecalaminelotion.[handsthebottletohim]
Cartman:
Idon'twanna.
Liane:
It'llmakeyouritchesgoaway.[sheopensthebottleandrubssomelotiononhisface]
Cartman:
Ugh.Uunnh.[shestops]Ey,givemethat!
[hetakesthebottleandrubssomemorelotiononhisface.Then,deeply]Aaaaaah!
Liane:
Nottoomuch,hon.Itsaysonthebottlethattoomuchcanbebad.
Cartman:
Morecalaminelotion!
[Kyle'shouse.Hisparentslookhimover]
Sheila:
Idon'tunderstandit.He'sperfectlyhealthy.
Kyle:
Yeah.Ifeelgreat!
Sheila:
AreyousureyoustayedoveratKenny'shouse
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