duolingo考试套路Day 3.docx
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duolingo考试套路Day 3.docx
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duolingo考试套路Day3
Day3
Theboywakesupseventimesinthenightreadytoputhisplanintoaction.Whenhisactualwake-uptimearrives,hedoesn’thearhisalarmgooffandheoversleepsfortwelveminutes.HeleapsoutofbedandtriestorushthroughhisregularmorningroutinebutWillardhasoccupiedthebathroomforthelasthalfhour.
“Willard,IneedtogetinthebathroomandI’mreallyinarush.Couldyoupleasehurryitup?
”theboyaskswhileleaninghisheadonthedoor.
Willardreplieswithawheezyyetaffirmativegrunt.Thedooropensandbillowsofsteampourout.Willardmaterializesthroughthesmokewearingapinkterryclothtowelaroundhiswaist.Theboydoesn’twanttostarebuthe’samazedbythesizeofWillard’sbreastsandthedeeppurplecoloringofhisnipples.HelooksupandseesWillardsmiling,proudofhischestprotrusions.
“Oh,thanks,Willy,Ireallyappreciateit.”
Theboyreallydoeslikehisbrotherandfeelsbadthathedoesn’ttalktohimmoreoften.Hewouldneveradmitit,eventohimself,butmostoftheanimosityhefeelstowardsWillardisbecausehe’sjelousofhisbrother’sunexplainable-yet-enourmouspopularity.Whenheentersthebathroomandseesthebodyoilpuddlesonthebathroomfloor,herememberswhyWillardisn’tthemostconvenientofbrothers.
Afteralmostslippinghisbrother’sliquid,theboyskipstheshowerandzipsaroundthehouseretrievingnotebookpaper,alargerollofducttapeandscentedmarkers.Hepullstheblueraspberrymarkeroutofthepackageasblueraspberryishisfavoriteflavor,mostlybecauseitdoesn’texistinnature,onlyintheaislesofcandyandtoystores.Asheworksonhisproject,hewonderswhythemarkerandcandycompanymarketingexecutiveshaven’tdevelopedbeyondtheirinventionofblueraspberryaspinkbananaorvioletpearsoundjustasdelicious.Hewritesasifhehadtocarvethewordsintothepaper,graspingthemarkerinhisfistlikeaknife.Hegrindsthewords“YOUARENOTALONE”intothepage.HeplacesthepieceofpaperonhischestandtapesittohisstripedT-shirt.Theboylooksinthemirrorandseeshehastapedthesignonhischestcrookedly.Hefixesitandwalkstothebusstop.
Theboy’snervousnessmakeshimtriponthebusstairsandhealmosthitshisheadonthestickshift.Heusuallycallsaslittleattentiontohimselfaspossibleandhischestbillboardhaspetrifiedhismotorskillsintoanearlyincapacitatedstate.Ontherareoccasionthathedoestrytostandout,hedoesn’tfollowthe“how-to-be-different-without-being-considered-a-freak”guidelinescloselyenoughanditusuallyendsinridicule(see“CrazyHairDay”asanexample).Hewearsthestandardissueclothingforaboyhisageandneverentersthetalentshow.Hecan’tbelievehe’snowaskingforhisclassmatestostareathim,buthefiguredhissignwouldbethebestwaytoletthekidsknowthatheknowswithoutbeingoverlyconfrontational.
Ashewalksdownthebusaisle,heimaginesallofthestaringfacesunitingtoformaresistancepartyaftertheygaintheknowledge.Theywouldoverthrowthesystem,marchingdownthestreetswithtorcheschanting,“we’rekids!
we’remad!
nomorebaddads!
”Thebaddadswouldpleadforforgivenessbutwouldnotgetadripofsympathy.Afterreceivingaheapingservingofthesametreatmenttheyladledouttotheirfamilymembers,theywouldallbeshippedtotheirrespectivecompanies,nevertoreturnhome.Theywouldbeforcedtosetupcotsintheircubicles,usingstacksofcopypaperaspillows.
“Um,whyareyouwearingthatonyourshirt?
”theyoungerkidsittingtohisleftasks24secondsafterhe’stakenhisseatonthevinylgreenbench.
“Justthinkaboutit,”theboysaysasheturnstolookathim.Theyoungerboy’steethareorangefromtheprocessedcheesehe’snibblingon.
“Iwas...butIcouldn’tfigureitoutsothat’swhenIaskedyou.”
“Look,it'snotjustyourfamily.It’salloftheirstoo,”theboywhispers.
Theyoungerboylooksstraightintheboy’seyesforaeightseconds.
“Okay...Iguess.Doyouwantsomecheese?
”theyoungerboysaysashereturnstopickingathisorangesquarereservedforlunch.Theboyignoreshisquestion.
Atschool,theboywalksslowlythroughthehalls,tellinghimselfhewantstomakesurethekidshavetimetoreadthemessage,butactuallyhehopeshismovementswillbesominutethathe’lljustdisappearintohissurroundings.Mostofthekidsstoptolookbuthecan’ttelliftheintensestaresathischestarefromconcentrationorconfusionaboutthemessage.
“Excuseme,butwhatisthatonyourshirt?
”Ms.Berquistasksinhomeroom.
Shehasresistedaskingaboutthemessagebecauseshe’sconvinceditsthelatestingredientintheconspiracytodriveherinsane.
“It’snotforyou,”theboyreplies.
Ms.Berquistresistshertemptationtosmacktheboy.Shedeteststhefacthercuriosityleadshertoaskasecondquestion.
“Thenwhoisitfor?
”
“Um...it’sforthem...forus,”theboysaysashelooksdownathisdesk.
“Well,Idon’tlikebeingleftoutofthejoke.Kindlyremovethesign.”
“It'snotajoke.Look,theotherkidshavethingswrittenontheirshirts.HehasaswooshonhisandshehasthatMexicanrestaurantsloganwrittenonhers.”
“Okay,then,newclassrule:
nomessagesonclothing.Onlysolidcolorsorrepeatedpatternswillbetolerated.WhenIsay‘notalkinginclass,thatgoesforyourclothingaswell.Takeitoffnow,”Ms.Berquistsayssternlywithtenselips,tryingtocontainherrage.
Theboysighsashepeelsoffthepaper,butonlyseesthisasatemporarydefeatasheplanstoputthesignbackonatlunch.
OnceMs.Berquistisoutofsight,theboyparadesaroundtheplaygroundusinghischestasabillboardtospreadtheword.He’sgottenusedtotheattentionhisblue-raspberrylettersattract.Mostofthekidsjustwhisperandstarebutthen,towardstheendofrecess,theboybeginstonoticeafewkidsreadingthesigninsilence.Justashebeginstofeellikeheismakingsomeprogress,whatfeelslikeahundredhandssmackhisbottom.Confusedandinpain,herunstothebathroomasmorehandsslaphim.Helockshimselfinabathroomstall,pullsdownhispantsandlooksbehindtoseethedamage.Heseesapieceofpaperonhisbackandpullsitoff.“Spankmynauddybottom,”thesignreadsinlettersthatmimichisoriginalpostedsign.Theboyflopsdownonthetoiletinfrustration.Hecan’tfigureoutwhythesekidsdon’twanttoacknowledgetheproblemorbehelped.Heunderstandsthattheyarejustafraidbecausethey’vebeentrainedtoneverspeakabouttheirbaddads.Perhapsthethesignwastoosubtle.Hedecidesthattomorrowhewouldutilizeamoredirect,as-yet-undeterminedtechniquetocoerceadiscussionofthebaddadplague.Hestandsup,flusheshisclassmates’sign,pullsuphispantsandleavesthestall.Downbutnotout,theboyexitsthebathroomtoachorusofhisclassmateslaughter.
Whenherushesthroughhisfrontdoorafterschool,theboybumpsintohismomandherbowlofpopcorndropstotheground.
“Whoa,whereareyouofftoinsucharush?
Iseverythingokay?
”hismomasks.
“Uhh,itsnothing,Imean,Idon’tthinkyouwouldunderstand,”hesaysashecontinuesupthestairs.
“Wait,wait,wait,slowdown.Look,justtryme.Youneverknow,Imightbeabletohelp.C’mon,Ijustwanttounderstandwhat’sbeengoingonwithyou.”
Theboystopsandturnsaround.Hehasbeenfeelinglikehewillburstifhedoesn’ttellsomeonesoon.Theweightofsociety’sproblemshavepressedonhimfor50hoursnowandhefigureshismomwouldbetheleastlikelytothinkheisinsane.Hesitsonastepashepreparestosharehisfindings.
“Um...well...doyoureallywanttoknow?
Imean,youmightthinkI’mcrazy.Itsjust...okay,I’lljusttellyou.Well,yousee,I’vekindamadethis...discovery,anditssomethingthatmayexplainwhyMrs.McFaddenandeveryoneelseactsthewaytheydo.Well,twonightsagoIsawsomethingintheneighborhoodthatwasreally...odd.Imean,Iwasjustwalkingaroundandlookedinourneighbors’windowsandsaw...saw...”
“Yousawthem,didn’tyou?
”hismominterrupts.
“Sawwho?
”
“Them...outthere,”hismomsaysasshepointstowardthedoor.
“Well,I’mnotsureifwe’retalkingaboutthesamethembutwhatasawwasabunchofthedads...”
“Yeah,theBadDads,”hismomsays.
“Youknow?
But...ifyouknow,thendoeseveryoneknow?
”
“See,Iknewyouknew,oratleastIknewyou’dfindoutsoonerorlater.Icouldjusttell.”
“Okay,butdoeseveryoneknow?
”
“Um,I’mnotsure.Well,Idon’tthinkso.Or,actually,Ithinktheyprobablydoknowbutjustcan’ttalkaboutit.”
“Thenhowdoyouknowandwhyareyouokaytalkingaboutit?
”
Hismomsitsnexttohimonthestairsandholdshishand.Theboylikeshismother’stouchbutbecomesoverlyawareoftheheateminatingfromhishand.
“Well,hun,Ireallydon’tknowhowtoputthis.Y’see,youandIaren’tlikeeveryoneelse.Weseethingsotherpeopledon’twanttosee.Mostofthemjustgothroughthemotionsoflifewithoutquestioninganything.Imean...IknowyoumaythinkI’mjustasstrangeastherestofthembecauseIjustsithomealldaywatchingmyprograms,but,totellyouthetruth,it'sjustthatI’mafraidofthem...themassesandtheirsilence.Idon’tseehowtheydoit...orwhytheydoit.I’veneverbeenabletounderstand,butit'ssuchareliefthatnowyouknowtoo.Iknewjustknewyou’dseeit.”
Hismomstopslookingathimandfocuseshereyesonherpopcornscatteredoverthebluecarpet.Theboyfeelsbaddoingsobuthehastopullhishandawayfromhismom’stostopwh
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