Mammon and the Archer.docx
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Mammon and the Archer.docx
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MammonandtheArcher
MammonandtheArcher
OldAnthonyRockwall,retiredmanufacturerandproprietorofRockwall'sEurekaSoap,lookedoutthelibrarywindowofhisFifthAvenuemansionandgrinned.Hisneighbourtotheright--thearistocraticclubman,G.VanSchuylightSuffolk-Jones--cameouttohiswaitingmotor-car,wrinklingacontumeliousnostril,asusual,attheItalianrenaissancesculptureofthesoappalace'sfrontelevation.
"Stuck-upoldstatuetteofnothingdoing!
"commentedtheex-SoapKing."TheEdenMusee'llgetthatoldfrozenNesselrodeyetifhedon'twatchout.I'llhavethishousepaintedred,white,andbluenextsummerandseeifthat'llmakehisDutchnoseturnupanyhigher."
AndthenAnthonyRockwall,whonevercaredforbells,wenttothedoorofhislibraryandshouted"Mike!
"inthesamevoicethathadoncechippedoffpiecesofthewelkinontheKansasprairies.
"Tellmyson,"saidAnthonytotheansweringmenial,"tocomeinherebeforeheleavesthehouse."
WhenyoungRockwallenteredthelibrarytheoldmanlaidasidehisnewspaper,lookedathimwithakindlygrimnessonhisbig,smooth,ruddycountenance,rumpledhismopofwhitehairwithonehandandrattledthekeysinhispocketwiththeother.
"Richard,"saidAnthonyRockwail,"whatdoyoupayforthesoapthatyouuse?
"
Richard,onlysixmonthshomefromcollege,wasstartledalittle.Hehadnotyettakenthemeasureofthissireofhis,whowasasfullofunexpectednessesasagirlatherfirstparty.
"Sixdollarsadozen,Ithink,dad."
"Andyourclothes?
"
"Isupposeaboutsixtydollars,asarule."
"You'reagentleman,"saidAnthony,decidedly."I'veheardoftheseyoungbloodsspending$24adozenforsoap,andgoingoverthehundredmarkforclothes.You'vegotasmuchmoneytowasteasanyof'em,andyetyousticktowhat'sdecentandmoderate.NowIusetheoldEureka--notonlyforsentiment,butit'sthepurestsoapmade.
Wheneveryoupaymorethan10centsacakeforsoapyoubuybadperfumesandlabels.But50centsisdoingverywellforayoungmaninyourgeneration,positionandcondition.AsIsaid,you'reagentleman.Theysayittakesthreegenerationstomakeone.They'reoff.Money'lldoitasslickassoapgrease.It'smadeyouone.Byhokey!
it'salmostmadeoneofme.I'mnearlyasimpoliteanddisagreeableandill-manneredasthesetwooldKnickerbockergentsoneachsideofmethatcan'tsleepofnightsbecauseIboughtinbetween'em."
"Therearesomethingsthatmoneycan'taccomplish,"remarkedyoungRockwall,rathergloomily.
"Now,don'tsaythat,"saidoldAnthony,shocked."Ibetmymoneyonmoneyeverytime.I'vebeenthroughtheencyclopaediadowntoYlookingforsomethingyoucan'tbuywithit;andIexpecttohavetotakeuptheappendixnextweek.I'mformoneyagainstthefield.Tellmesomethingmoneywon'tbuy."
"Foronething,"answeredRichard,ranklingalittle,"itwon'tbuyoneintotheexclusivecirclesofsociety.""Oho!
won'tit?
"thunderedthechampionoftherootofevil."YoutellmewhereyourexclusivecircleswouldbeifthefirstAstorhadn'thadthemoneytopayforhissteeragepassageover?
"
Richardsighed.
"Andthat'swhatIwascomingto,"saidtheoldman,lessboisterously."That'swhyIaskedyoutocomein.There'ssomethinggoingwrongwithyou,boy.I'vebeennoticingitfortwoweeks.Outwithit.IguessIcouldlaymyhandsonelevenmillionswithintwenty-fourhours,besidestherealestate.Ifit'syourliver,there'stheRamblerdowninthebay,coaled,andreadytosteamdowntotheBahamasintwodays."
"Notabadguess,dad;youhaven'tmisseditfar."
"Ah,"saidAnthony,keenly;"what'shername?
"
Richardbegantowalkupanddownthelibraryfloor.Therewasenoughcomradeshipandsympathyinthiscrudeoldfatherofhistodrawhisconfidence.
"Whydon'tyouaskher?
"demandedoldAnthony."She'lljumpatyou.You'vegotthemoneyandthelooks,andyou'readecentboy.Yourhandsareclean.You'vegotnoEurekasoapon'em.You'vebeentocollege,butshe'lloverlookthat."
"Ihaven'thadachance,"saidRichard.
"Makeone,"saidAnthony."Takeherforawalkinthepark,orastrawride,orwalkhomewithherfromchurchChance!
Pshaw!
"
"Youdon'tknowthesocialmill,dad.She'spartofthestreamthatturnsit.Everyhourandminuteofhertimeisarrangedfordaysinadvance.Imusthavethatgirl,dad,orthistownisablackjackswampforevermore.AndIcan'twriteit--Ican'tdothat."
"Tut!
"saidtheoldman."DoyoumeantotellmethatwithallthemoneyI'vegotyoucan'tgetanhourortwoofagirl'stimeforyourself?
"
"I'veputitofftoolate.She'sgoingtosailforEuropeatnoondayafterto-morrowforatwoyears'stay.I'mtoseeheraloneto-morroweveningforafewminutes.
She'satLarchmontnowatheraunt's.Ican'tgothere.ButI'mallowedtomeetherwithacabattheGrandCentralStationto-morroweveningatthe8.30train.WedrivedownBroadwaytoWallack'satagallop,wherehermotherandaboxpartywillbewaitingforusinthelobby.Doyouthinkshewouldlistentoadeclarationfrommeduringthatsixoreightminutesunderthosecircumstances?
No.AndwhatchancewouldIhaveinthetheatreorafterward?
None.No,dad,thisisonetanglethatyourmoneycan'tunravel.Wecan'tbuyoneminuteoftimewithcash;ifwecould,richpeoplewouldlivelonger.There'snohopeofgettingatalkwithMissLantrybeforeshesails."
"Allright,Richard,myboy,"saidoldAnthony,cheerfully."Youmayrunalongdowntoyourclubnow.I'mgladitain'tyourliver.Butdon'tforgettoburnafewpunksticksinthejosshousetothegreatgodMazumafromtimetotime.Yousaymoneywon'tbuytime?
Well,ofcourse,youcan'tordereternitywrappedupanddeliveredatyourresidenceforaprice,butI'veseenFatherTimegetprettybadstonebruisesonhisheelswhenhewalkedthroughthegolddiggings."
ThatnightcameAuntEllen,gentle,sentimental,wrinkled,sighing,oppressedbywealth,intoBrotherAnthonyathiseveningpaper,andbegandiscourseonthesubjectoflovers'woes.
"Hetoldmeallaboutit,"saidbrotherAnthony,yawning."Itoldhimmybankaccountwasathisservice.Andthenhebegantoknockmoney.Saidmoneycouldn'thelp.
Saidtherulesofsocietycouldn'tbebuckedforayardbyateamoften-millionaires."
"Oh,Anthony,"sighedAuntEllen,"Iwishyouwouldnotthinksomuchofmoney.Wealthisnothingwhereatrueaffectionisconcerned.Loveisall-powerful.Ifheonlyhadspokenearlier!
ShecouldnothaverefusedourRichard.ButnowIfearitistoolate.Hewillhavenoopportunitytoaddressher.Allyourgoldcannotbringhappinesstoyourson."
Ateighto'clockthenexteveningAuntEllentookaquaintoldgoldringfromamoth-eatencaseandgaveittoRichard.
"Wearitto-night,nephew,"shebegged."Yourmothergaveittome.Goodluckinloveshesaiditbrought.Sheaskedmetogiveittoyouwhenyouhadfoundtheoneyouloved."
YoungRockwalltooktheringreverentlyandtrieditonhissmallestfinger.Itslippedasfarasthesecondjointandstopped.Hetookitoffandstuffeditintohisvestpocket,afterthemannerofman.Andthenhe'phonedforhiscab.
AtthestationhecapturedMissLantryoutofthegaddingmobateightthirty-two.
"Wemustn'tkeepmammaandtheotherswaiting,"saidshe.
"ToWallack'sTheatreasfastasyoucandrive!
"saidRichardloyally.
TheywhirledupForty-secondtoBroadway,andthendownthewhite-starredlanethatleadsfromthesoftmeadowsofsunsettotherockyhillsofmorning.
AtThirty-fourthStreetyoungRichardquicklythrustupthetrapandorderedthecabmantostop.
"I'vedroppedaring,"heapologised,asheclimbedout."Itwasmymother's,andI'dhatetoloseit.Iwon'tdetainyouaminute--Isawwhereitfell."
Inlessthanaminutehewasbackinthecabwiththering.
Butwithinthatminuteacrosstowncarhadstoppeddirectlyinfrontofthecab.Thecabmantriedtopasstotheleft,butaheavyexpresswagoncuthimoff.Hetriedtheright,andhadtobackawayfromafurniturevanthathadnobusinesstobethere.Hetriedtobackout,butdroppedhisreinsandsworedutifully.Hewasblockadedinatangledmessofvehiclesandhorses.
Oneofthosestreetblockadeshadoccurredthatsometimestieupcommerceandmovementquitesuddenlyinthebigcity.
"Whydon'tyoudriveon?
"saidMissLantry,impatiently."We'llbelate."
Richardstoodupinthecabandlookedaround.Hesawacongestedfloodofwagons,trucks,cabs,vansandstreetcarsfillingthevastspacewhereBroadway,SixthAvenueandThirly-fourthstreetcrossoneanotherasatwenty-sixinchmaidenfillshertwenty-twoinchgirdle.Andstillfromallthecrossstreetstheywerehurryingandrattlingtowardtheconvergingpointatfullspeed,andhurlingthcmselvesintothestrugglingmass,lockingwheelsandaddingtheirdrivers'imprecationstotheclamour.TheentiretrafficofManhattanseemedtohavejammeditselfaroundthem.TheoldestNewYorkeramongthethousandsofspectatorsthatlinedthesidewalkshadnotwitnessedastreetblockadeoftheproportionsofthisone.
"I'mverysorry,"saidRichard,asheresumedhisseat,"butitlooksasifwearestuck.Theywon'tgetthisjumbleloosenedupinanhour.Itwasmyfault.IfIhadn'tdroppedtheringwe--"Letmeseethering,"saidMissLantry."Nowthatitcan'tbehelped,Idon'tcare.Ithinktheatresarestupid,anyway."
At11o'clockthatnightsomebodytappedlightlyonAnthonyRockwall'sdoor.
"Comein,"shoutedAnthony,whowasinareddressing-gown,readingabookofpiraticaladventures.
SomebodywasAuntEllen,lookinglikeagrey-hairedangelthathadbeenleftonearthbymistake.
"They'reengaged,Anthony,"shesaid,sof
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