最受欢迎的美剧老友记第二季剧本.docx

最受欢迎的美剧老友记第二季剧本.docx

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最受欢迎的美剧老友记第二季剧本

201TheOneWithRoss'NewGirlfriend

[Scene:

CentralPerk,Phoebeisrecappinglastseason,andasshetalksweseeamontagueofscenesfromRossandRachel.]

PHOEBE:

Ok,sothisisprettymuchwhat'shappenedsofar.RosswasinlovewithRachelsince,youknow,forever,buteverytimehetriedtotellher,somethingkindofgotintheway,likecats,andItalianguys.FinallyChandlerwaslike"forgetabouther"butwhenRosswasinChinaonhisdig,ChandlerletitslipthatRosswasinlovewithRachel.Shewaslike,"Ohmygod."Soshewenttotheairporttomeethimwhenhecameback,butwhatshedidn'tknowwas,thatRosswasgettingofftheplanewithanotherwoman.Uh-Oh!

So,that'sprettymucheverythingyouneedtoknow.But,enoughaboutus.So,how'veyoubeen?

OPENINGCREDITS

[Scene,TheAirport,continuedfromlastseason,RacheliswaitingforRosstocomeoftheplane,whensheseeshe'scomingoffwithanotherwoman.]

RACHEL:

Ohmygod.Ohmygod.（Shedecidestomakeabreakforit.）Excuseme.Move!

Move!

Emergency!

Excuseme!

（Shetriesclimbingoverabenchandfallsdown.）

ROSS:

Rache!

RACHEL:

Oh,thereyouare!

Hi!

Oh,so,so,howwasChina,you?

（Hitshimwiththeflowers.）

ROSS:

Itwas,itwasgreat.Oh,whathappened?

RACHEL:

What?

ROSS:

You'rebleeding.

RACHEL:

Iam?

Oh,lookatthat,yesIam.Enoughaboutme,enoughaboutme,Mr.BackfromtheOrient.Iwannaheareverything!

（LooksatJulie）

ROSS:

Well,wheredoIstart?

ThisisJulie.Julie,thisisRachel.

RACHEL:

Theseare,thesearen'tforyou.（toJulie）Theseareforyou.（Loudly,thinkingshecan'tspeakEnglish.）Welcometoourcountry.

JULIE:

（Loudly,provingshecanspeakEnglish.）Thankyou.I'mfromNewYork.

RACHEL:

Ok,well,notaproblem.We'lljustusethemtostopthebleeding.Ok.Baggageclaim?

Ok.

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,thegangiswaitingforRacheltoreturnfromtheairportwithRoss.]

CHANDLER:

 Noway!

MONICA:

I'mtellingyou,shewenttotheairport,andshe'sgonnagoforitwithRoss!

PHOEBE:

Ohmygod.Thisishuge.Thisisbiggerthanhuge.Thisislike,allright,what'sbiggerthanhuge?

JOEY:

Um,this?

PHOEBE:

Yes.

MONICA:

Guys,yougotyourhaircut.

CHANDLER:

Yes,yes,wedid,thankstoVidalBuffay.

PHOEBE:

'Cause,youknow,（inthatvoice）ifyoudon'tlookgood,wedon'tlookgood.Ilovethatvoice.

RACHEL:

（entering,outofbreath）Airport,airport.Ross,notalone,Julie,armaroundher.Cramp,cramp.

CHANDLER:

Ok,Ithinkshe'stryingtotellussomething.Quick,gettheverbs.

RACHEL:

（toChandler）You,you,yousaidhelikedme.（RossandJulieenter）You,youslowpokes!

ROSS:

That'sallright,Rache,wegotthebags.Hi,hello.Julie,thisismysisterMonica.ThisisChandler. Phoebe. Joey,whatup?

JOEY:

Whatup?

!

ROSS:

Everyone,thisisJulie.

RACHEL:

（outofbreath）Julie.

ALL:

Ohh.（Happily）Hi!

JULIE:

Hi,butI'mnothere,youhaven'tmetme.I'llmakeamuchbetterfirstimpressiontomorrowwhenIdon'thave20hoursofcabandplaneonme.

ROSS:

Andbus.

JULIE:

Ohmygod.

ROSS:

 Thescreamingguy?

JULIE:

 Andthespitting?

ROSS:

Yougottahearthisstory.

JULIE:

We'reonthisbus,that'seasily200yearsold...

ROSS:

Atleast.

JULIE:

 ...andthisguy--

RACHEL:

Andthechickenpoopsinherlap.Oh,I'msosorry.Ijustgaveawaytheending,didn'tI?

Oh!

It'sjust,Ijustheardthisstoryinthecab,anditisallIcanthinkabout.

MONICA:

Thisisamazing.Imean,how,howdidthishappen?

JULIE:

Well,RossandIwereingradschooltogether.

ROSS:

Butwehaven'tseeneachothersincethen.WellIlandinChina,guesswho'sinchargeofthedig.

RACHEL:

Julie!

Julie,isn'tthatgreat?

Imean,isn'tthatjustkick-you-in-the-crotch,spit-on-your-neckfantastic?

MONICA:

It'sanexpression.

ROSS:

Well,wejustwantedtosayaquickhi,andthenwe'regonnagoseethebaby.

JULIE:

Andthenwe'vegottagetsomesleep.

ROSS:

Yeah,it'sreally6:

00tomorrownightourtime.

CHANDLER:

Well,listen,don'ttelluswhat'sgonnahappenthough,'causeIliketobesurprised.

（RossandJulieexit）

RACHEL:

Bye.（Sheclosesthedoorandeveryonetriestosympathizewithher.）

[Scene:

CentralPerk,RossandChandlerenter.]

ROSS:

Hey,Rache,canIgetsomecoffee?

RACHEL:

Yeah,sure.

ROSS:

Thankyou.

CHANDLER:

Hey,Rache,canIget--

RACHEL:

Didyoutalktohim?

CHANDLER:

Notyet.

RACHEL:

Then,no.

（HegoestositdownnexttoRoss.）

CHANDLER:

SowhatthehellhappenedtoyouinChina?

Imean,whenlastweleftyou,youweretotallyinlovewith,youknow.

ROSS:

Iknow,IknowIwas,buttherewasalwaysthislittlevoiceinsidethatkeptsayingit'snevergonnahappen,moveon.Youknowwhosevoicethatwas?

CHANDLER:

God?

ROSS:

Itwasyou,pal.

CHANDLER:

Well,maybeitwasGod,doingme.

ROSS:

Look,youwereright.Shelooksatmeandseesafriend,that'sall.ButthenImetJulie,andIdon'tknow,we'rehavin'agreattime.AndIhavetosay,Ineverwould'vegoneforitwithherifithadn'tbeenforyou.

CHANDLER:

Well,youowemeone,bigguy.

RACHEL:

Here'syourlemonade.

ROSS:

Ididn'torderlemonade.

RACHEL:

Oh.Wellthen,youbettergotakethatbackbecausethey'regonnachargeyouforthat.

ROSS:

But--

RACHEL:

Gogogogo,comeon!

（toChandler）Sothen,well,whatdidyoufindout?

CHANDLER:

Hesaid,hesaidthatthey'rehavingagreattime.I'msorry.But,thesilverlining,ifyouwannaseeit,isthathemadethedecisionallbyhimselfwithoutanyoutsidehelpwhatsoever.

RACHEL:

Howisthatthesilverlining?

CHANDLER:

Youhavetoreallywannaseeit.

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,RossandthegangiswatchingTV.]

ROSS:

Ironically,thesearetheguyswhowerepickedlastingym.

[cuttoPhoebeandMonicainthekitchen.]

MONICA:

Phoebes,youknowwhatI'mthinking?

PHOEBE:

Oh,ok.How,it'sbeensolongsinceyou'vehadsex,you'rewonderingifthey'vechangedit?

MONICA:

No,althoughnowthat'swhatI'mthinking.

PHOEBE:

Allright,sowhatwereyouthinking?

MONICA:

Well,Iwasthinking,thatyougavetheguyssuchgreathaircuts,Ithought,maybeyou'dliketodomine?

PHOEBE:

Ohh!

No.

MONICA:

Whynot?

PHOEBE:

Because,I'mjust,I'mincrediblyanalandanunbelievablecontrolfreak.

MONICA:

Noyou'renot.

PHOEBE:

IknowI'mnot,butyouare,andIwastryingtospareyourfeelings.

（Thephonerings.）

JOEY:

（answeringthephone）Hello?

Oh,hi.Yeah,holdonasecond.Ross,it'sJulie,foryou.（Throwshimthephone.）

ROSS:

（onphone）Hello?

Hi.

CHANDLER:

（entering）Hi.Anybodyknowagoodtailor?

JOEY:

Needssomeclothesaltered?

CHANDLER:

No,no,I'mjustlookingforamantodrawonmewithchalk.

JOEY:

Whydon'tyougoseeFrankie?

Myfamily'sbeengoin'tohimforever.HedidmyfirstsuitwhenIwas15.Nowait,16.No,'scuseme,15.（stillconfused）Allright,whenwas1990?

CHANDLER:

YouhavetostoptheQ-tipwhenthere'sresistance!

ROSS:

（onphone）Ok,ok,sweetheart,I'llseeyoulater.Ok,bye.What?

Oh,thatissosweet.No,no,ok,youhangup.Ok,ok,one,two,three.（motionsforRacheltobequiet）Wellyoudidn'thangupeither.

RACHEL:

Shedidn'thangupeither!

ROSS:

Ok,no,no,youhangup.You,you,y--

RACHEL:

（takingthephoneandhangingitup）Sorry,Ithoughtyouweretalkingtome.

ROSS:

Rachel!

I'lljustcallherback.

RACHEL:

Okay!

ROSS:

（callsJulieback）Hi?

 Sorry,wegotdisconnected...

RACHEL:

Ok,ok,ok.Howdidthishappentome?

Howdidthishappentome?

Aweekago,twoweeksago,Iwasfine.RosswasjustRoss,justthisguy.Nowhe'sRrrooossss,oh,thisreallygreatguythatIcan'thave.

MONICA:

Sweetie,Iwantedyoutohavehimtoo.

RACHEL:

Iknowyoudid.I'mjustgonnadealwithit,I'mjustgonnadealwithit.（Rosscomesby,smochingwithJulieonthephone.）Igottagetoutofhere.

CHANDLER:

Ok,Idon'tcarewhatyouguyssay,something'sbotheringher.

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,thenextmorning.]

JOEY:

Youknow,IthinkIwassixteen.

MONICA:

Please,justalittlebitofftheback.

PHOEBE:

I'mstillon"no".

RACHEL:

（pokingherheadinfromherbedroom）Uh,morning.Doyouguysthinkyoucouldcloseyoureyesforjustasec?

JOEY:

Nonononono,（grabshispants）I'mnotfallin'forthatagain.

PHOEBE:

What'sgoin'on?

RACHEL:

Well,Isortadidastupidthinglastnight.

CHANDLER:

Whatstupidthingdidyoudo?

PAOLO:

Bongiornotutti!

PHOEBE:

Ewww!

COMMERCIALBREAK

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel'scontinuedfromearlier.]

RACHEL:

Ok,Paulo,whydon'tyoujustgogetdressed,andthenyoubeonyourway,ok,bye-bye.

MONICA:

Rachel,howdidthishappen?

RACHEL:

Idon'tknow,Ijustkindaranintohimlastnight.

PHOEBE:

Where?

RACHEL:

Athisapartment.Isthisjuice?

JOEY:

Whoa,whoa.AndthefactthatyoudumpedhimbecausehehitonPhoebe?

RACHEL:

OhGod,IknowI'mapatheticloser.

MONICA:

Honey,you'renotpathetic,you'resad.

CHANDLER:

Peopledostupidthingswhenthey'reupset.

MONICA:

Mygod,ifIhadanickelforeveryguyIwishIhadn't--butthisisaboutyourhorriblemistake.

ROSS:

Hi.Sorrywe'relatebutwewere--well,therewastouching.

PAOLO:

Hey,heyRoss.

ROSS:

Hey,Paulo.Whatareyoudoinghere?

PAOLO:

IdoRaquel.

ROSS:

（toRachel）So,uh,he'sback.

RACHEL:

Yeah,he'sback.Isthataproblem?

ROSS:

No,notaproblem.

RACHEL:

Good!

I'mgladit'snotaproblem.

PHOEBE:

Ok,you'regonnahavetonottouchmyass.

CHANDLER:

Well,inspiteoftheyummybagelsandpalpabletension,I'vegotpantsthatneedtobealtered.

JOEY:

Hey,Chandler,whenyouseeFrankie,tellhimJoeyTribbianisayshello.He'llknowwhatitmeans.

CHANDLER:

Areyousurehe'sgonnabeabletocrackthatcode?

MONICA:

Youknowit'sfunny,thelasttimePaulowashere,myhairwassomuchshorterandcuter.

PHOEBE:

Allright.Ok,but,butyouhavetopr