the man higher up.docx

the man higher up.docx

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themanhigherup

TheManHigherUp

Acrossourtwodishesofspaghetti,inacornerofProvenzano'srestaurant,JeffPeterswasexplainingtomethethreekindsofgraft.

EverywinterJeffcomestoNewYorktoeatspaghetti,towatchtheshippinginEastRiverfromthedepthsofhischinchillaovercoat,andtolayinasupplyofChicago-madeclothingatoneoftheFultonstreetstores.Duringtheotherthreeseasonshemaybefoundfurtherwest--hisrangeisfromSpokanetoTampa.Inhisprofessionhetakesapridewhichhesupportsanddefendswithaseriousanduniquephilosophyofethics.Hisprofessionisnonewone.Heisanincorporated,uncapitalized,unlimitedasylumforthereceptionoftherestlessandunwisedollarsofhisfellowmen.

InthewildernessofstoneinwhichJeffseekshisannuallonelyholidayheisgladtopalaverofhismanyadventures,asaboywillwhistleaftersundowninawood.Wherefore,Imarkonmycalendarthetimeofhiscoming,andopenaquestionofprivilegeatProvenzano'sconcerningthelittlewine-stainedtableinthecornerbetweentherakishrubberplantandtheframedpalazziodellasomethingonthe

wall.

"Therearetwokindsofgraft,"saidJeff,"thatoughttobewipedoutbylaw.ImeanWallStreetspeculation,andburglary."

"Nearlyeverybodywillagreewithyouastooneofthem,"saidI,withalaugh.

"Well,burglaryoughttobewipedout,too,"saidJeff;andIwonderedwhetherthelaughhadbeenredundant.

"Aboutthreemonthsago,"saidJeff,"itwasmyprivilegetobecomefamiliarwithasampleofeachoftheaforesaidbranchesofillegitimateart.Iwas/sinequegrata/withamemberofthehousebreakers'unionandoneoftheJohnD.Napoleonsoffinanceatthesametime."

"Interestingcombination,'saidI,withayawn."DidItellyouIbaggedaduckandaground-squirrelatoneshotlastweekoverintheRamapos?

"IknewwellhowtodrawJeff'sstories.

"Letmetellyoufirstaboutthesebarnaclesthatclogthewheelsofsocietybypoisoningthespringsofrectitudewiththeirupas-likeeye,"saidJeff,withthepuregleamofthemuck-rakerinhisown.

"AsIsaid,threemonthsagoIgotintobadcompany.Therearetwotimesinaman'slifewhenhedoesthis--whenhe'sdeadbroke,andwhenhe'srich.

"Nowandthenthemostlegitimatebusinessrunsoutofluck.ItwasoutinArkansasImadethewrongturnatacross-road,anddrivesintothistownofPeavinebymistake.ItseemsIhadalreadyassaultedanddisfiguredPeavinethespringoftheyearbefore.Ihadsold$600worthofyoungfruittreesthere--plums,cherries,peachesandpears.ThePeavinerswerekeepinganeyeonthecountryroadandhopingImightpassthatwayagain.IdrovedownMainstreetasfarastheCrystalPalacedrugstorebeforeIrealizedIhadcommittedambushuponmyselfandmywhitehorseBill.

"ThePeavinerstookmebysurpriseandBillbythebridleandbeganaconversationthatwasn'tentirelydisassociatedwiththesubjectoffruittrees.Acommitteeof'emransometrace-chainsthroughthearmholesofmyvest,andescortedmethroughtheirgardensandorchards.

"Theirfruittreeshadn'tliveduptotheirlabels.Mostof'emhadturnedouttobepersimmonsanddogwoods,withagroveortwoofblackjacksandpoplars.Theonlyonethatshowedanysignsofbearinganythingwasafineyoungcottonwoodthathadputforthahornet'snestandhalfofanoldcorset-cover.

"ThePeavinersprotractedourfruitlessstrolltotheedgeoftown.Theytookmywatchandmoneyonaccount;andtheykeptBillandthewagonashostages.TheysaidthefirsttimeoneofthemdogwoodtreesputforthanAmsden'sJunepeachImightcomebackandgetmythings.ThentheytookoffthetracechainsandjerkedtheirthumbsinthedirectionoftheRockyMountains;andIstruckaLewisandClarklopefortheswollenriversandimpenetrableforests.

"WhenIregainedintellectualnessIfoundmyselfwalkingintoanunidentifiedtownontheA.,T.&S.F.railroad.ThePeavinershadn'tleftanythinginmypocketsexceptaplugofchewing--theywasn'taftermylife--andthatsavedit.Ibitoffachunkandsitsdownonapileoftiesbythetracktorecogitatemysensationsofthoughtandperspicacity.

"Andthenalongcomesafastfreightwhichslowsupalittleatthe.town;andoffofitdropsablackbundlethatrollsfortwentyyardsinacloudofdustandthengetsupandbeginstospitsoftcoalandinterjections.Iseeitisayoungmanbroadacrosstheface,dressedmoreforPullmansthanfreights,andwithacheerfulkindofsmileinspiteofitallthatmadePhoebeSnow'sjoblooklikeachimney-sweep's.

"'Falloff?

'saysI.

"'Nunk,'sayshe.'Gotoff.Arrivedatmydestination.Whattownisthis?

'

"'Haven'tlookedituponthemapyet,'saysI.'Igotinaboutfiveminutesbeforeyoudid.Howdoesitstrikeyou?

'

"'Hard,'sayshe,twistingoneofhisarmsaround.'Ibelievethat.shoulder--no,it'sallright.'

"Hestoopsovertobrushthedustoffhisclothes,whenoutofhispocketdropsafine,nine-inchburglar'ssteeljimmy.Hepicksitupandlooksatmesharp,andthengrinsandholdsouthishand.

"'Brother,'sayshe,'greetings.Didn'tIseeyouinSouthernMissourilastsummersellingcoloredsandathalf-a-dollarateaspoonfultoputintolampstokeeptheoilfromexploding?

'

"'Oil,'saysI,'neverexplodes.It'sthegasthatformsthatexplodes.'ButIshakeshandswithhim,anyway.

"'Myname'sBillBassett,'sayshetome,'andifyou'llcallitprofessionalprideinsteadofconceit,I'llinformyouthatyouhavethepleasureofmeetingthebestburglarthateversetagum-shoeongrounddrainedbytheMississippiRiver.'

"Well,meandthisBillBassettsitsonthetiesandexchangesbragsasartistsinkindredlineswilldo.Itseemshedidn'thaveacent,either,andwewentintoclosecaucus.HeexplainedwhyanableburglarsometimeshadtotravelonfreightsbytellingmethataservantgirlhadplayedhimfalseinLittleRock,andhewasmakingaquickget-away.

"'It'spartofmybusiness,'saysBillBassett,'toplayuptotheruffleswhenIwanttomakeariffleasRaffles.'Tislovesthatmakesthebitgo'round.Showmeahousewithaswaginitandaprettyparlor-maid,andyoumightaswellcallthesilvermelteddownandsold,andmespillingtrufflesandthatChateaustuffonthenapkin

undermychin,whilethepolicearecallingitaninsidejobjustbecausetheoldlady'snephewteachesaBibleclass.Ifirstmakeanimpressiononthegirl,'saysBill,'andwhensheletsmeinsideImakeanimpressiononthelocks.ButthisoneinLittleRockdoneme,'sayshe.'Shesawmetakingatrolleyridewithanothergirl,andwhen

Icame'roundonthenightshewastoleavethedooropenformeitwasfast.AndIhadkeysmadeforthedoorsupstairs.But,nosir.Shehadsurecutoffmylocks.ShewasaDelilah,'saysBillBassett.

"ItseemsthatBilltriedtobreakinanyhowwithhisjimmy,butthegirlemittedasuccessionofbravuranoiseslikethetop-ridersofatally-ho,andBillhadtotakeallthehurdlesbetweenthereanddepot.Ashehadnobaggagetheytriedhardtocheckhisdeparture,buthemadeatrainthatwasjustpullingout.

"'Well,'saysBillBassett,whenwehadexchangedmemoriesofourdeadlives,'Icouldeat.Thistowndon'tlooklikeitwaskeptunderaYalelock.Supposewecommitsomemildatrocitythatwillbringintemporaryexpensemoney.Idon'tsupposeyou'vebroughtalonganyhairtonicorrolledgoldwatch-chains,orsimilarlaw-defyingswindles

thatyoucouldsellontheplazatothepikersofthepareticpopulace,haveyou?

'

"'No,'saysI,'IleftanelegantlineofPatagoniandiamondearringsandrainy-daysunburstsinmyvaliseatPeavine.Butthey'retostaythereuntilsomeofthoseblack-gumtreesbegintoglutthemarketwithyellowclingsandJapaneseplums.Ireckonwecan'tcountonthemunlesswetakeLutherBurbankinforapartner.'

"'Verywell,'saysBassett,'we'lldothebestwecan.MaybeafterdarkI'llborrowahairpinfromsomelady,andopentheFarmersandDroversMarineBankwithit.'

"Whileweweretalking,uppullsapassengertraintothedepotnearby.Apersoninahighhatgetsoffonthewrongsideofthetrainandcomestrippingdownthetracktowardsus.Hewasalittle,fatmanwithabignoseandrat'seyes,butdressedexpensive,andcarryingahand-satchelcareful,asifithadeggsorrailroadsbondsinit.Hepassesbyusandkeepsondownthetrack,notappearingtonoticethe

town.

"'Comeon,'saysBillBassetttome,startingafterhim.

"'Where?

'Iasks.

"'Lordy!

'saysBill,'hadyouforgotyouwasinthedesert?

Didn'tyouseeColonelMannadropdownrightbeforeyoureyes?

Don'tyouheartherustlingofGeneralRaven'swings?

I'msurprisedatyou,Elijah.'

"Weovertookthestrangerintheedgeofsomewoods,and,asitwasaftersun-downandinaquietplace,nobodysawusstophim.Billtakesthesilkhatofftheman'sheadandbrushesitwithhissleeveandputsitback.

"'Whatdoesthismean,sir?

'saystheman.

"'WhenIworeoneofthese,'saysBill,'andfeltembarrassed,Ialwaysdonethat.NothavingonenowIhadtouseyours.Ihardlyknowhowtobegin,sir,inexplainingourbusinesswithyou,butIguesswe'lltryyourpocketsfirst.'

"BillBassettfeltinallofthem,andlookeddisgusted.

"'Notevenawatch,'hesays.'Ain'tyouashamedofyourself,youwhitedsculpture?

Goingaboutdressedlikeahead-waiter,andfinancedlikeaCount!

Youhaven'tevengotcarfare.Whatdidyoudowithyourtransfer?

'

"Themanspeaksupandsayshehasnoassetsorvaluablesofanysort.ButBassetttakeshishand-satchelandopensit.Outcomessomecollarsandsocksandahalfapageofanewspaperclippedout.Billreadstheclippingcareful,andholdsouthishand