Ally Mcbeal S02E04剧本.docx

Ally Mcbeal S02E04剧本.docx

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AllyMcbealS02E04剧本

Prologue. 

Scenesfromlastepisodes. 

AMBandRR'sapartment.AMBdancingaloneinthelivingroomto"Superfreak". 

RRgetsinandturnsoffthemusic.AMBdoesn'tnoticeandkeepsdancingtillsheseesRR. 

RR:

Whatareyoudoing?

AMB:

I'mpracticing.Forourparty.Apartyhastohavedancing.It'satotalfailureifpeopledon'tdance.Wedonotwantthereputationofgivingbadparties. 

RR:

Isee.Exactlywhyisityoufeelyouhavetopractice?

AMB:

Because,Ihaven'tdancedinmonths. 

RR:

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Wedancethreetimesaweek!

AMB:

What?

RR:

Atthebar!

AMB:

Oh,well,thatisn'tdancingRenee,bardancingisnotdancing. 

RR:

It'snot?

AMB:

No!

No,atabar,youjustsortofmodelandmove.Watch.（sheturnsonthemusicwithMr.Postmanandmimicsbardancing,movingmuchlessthanshewasearlier）.See,youjustkindofstandtherewithrhythmandletyourselfbeseen. 

RR:

Really?

AMB（singingalongherownwords）:

Heyeverybody,lookatme,I'mascuteascuteascanbe,I'mjustdancing,swingingaround...（sheturnsoffthemusicandstopssinging）.Thatisnotdancing!

Dancingislosingyourselftothemusic,it'sasifyou'renotconsciousofanythingelse,it'sasifyoubecometheonlyoneintheroom. 

RR:

Whichbringsmebacktomyquestion.Whydoyouhavetopractice?

（AMBlooksdisdainfullyatRRandturnsonthemusicagain.RRwalkspastherandleavestheroom）. 

Credits. 

AMBintheelevatortalkingonamobilephone. 

AMB:

Billy,Georgia,John,Elainealldefinities.I'llhavetoinviteNellebutI'lldoitatthelastminute,andRichard'llprobablywanttobringhislittlewaddleofthemonth.（Elevatorstopsanddoorsopentotheoffice）.Uh..Uh..I'llcallyoulater. 

Shegetsoutoftheelevatorandbumpsintosomebody.Sheiscarryingacupofcappuccinowhichspillsonthetieofthatperson. 

AMB:

Ouh...Ouh..Oh,I'msorry,I..Oh..DidIgetyou?

（shotofthespillonhistie） 

GM:

Oh,no,no,onlywhereIwantedit. 

AMB（letsoutalittlelaugh）:

I'mreallysorry!

GM:

That'sokay,atleastIwon'thavetoexplainthespot,causeit'syouI'mcomingtosee（hepicksupthefoamonhistiewithafingerandeatsit）. 

AMB:

What?

GM:

I'mGeorgeMadison,your9o'clock,I'mherealittleearly. 

AMB:

You're..Oh,it'sapleasuretomeetyou（shakeshands）,Ireadyourmagazinereligiously,wellImeanIdidbeforeyougot...youknow. 

GM:

Youcansayfired,that'swhatitwas.Elaine'safriend,sheconvincedmetosue,I'mnotafanoflitigation,but... 

AMB:

Well,ifyourrightshavebeentrembled...（theylookateachothersortofseductivelyforawhile）So... 

GM:

Icouldcleanupandthenseeyouinafewminutes. 

AMB:

Great!

GM:

Where'sthe...?

AMB:

Oh!

（shepointsattheunisex） 

GM:

Thanks（hegoes-AMBlicksthefoamofhercupwhilewatchinghimgo）

Aoffice. 

Onthetablelaysawhilebunchofcondoms,wrappedinverycolorfulpackages,withthingswrittenonthepackages. 

EV:

Ithinkit'smyverybestyet.（toRF）ButevenwhenImakemymillions,IwantyoutoknowI'llstillworkhere. 

AMB（arriving）:

What'sgoingon?

Cuttoalargeshot:

BT,GT,EV,JCandRFarestandingaroundthetablewherelaythecondoms. 

GT:

She'sinventedcustomizedcondoms. 

AMB:

Sorry?

EV:

Theycomeinvibrantcolors,asyoucansee,withlittlesayingsonthesides. 

BT:

Sayings?

EV（grinning,handingoutthesamplesasshespeaks）:

Youcanreadasyouunfurl.I'vemadeupsamplesforallofyou.Richard,yourssays"Bygones",Ithinkthat'sappropriate.John,"Enjoythemoment".Georgia,"Paythebill",Ilikethepunnage（lookingatBTwhilesayingit）onthat.Andminesays"Comehereoften?

".I'mnotsureabouttheentendre,Idon'twanttobevulgar.Oh,andAlly,perfect!

（handsheracondom） 

AMB（shocked）:

"Takeanumber"?

EV:

Don'tyouloveit?

AMB:

No!

"Takeanumber"?

EV:

Well,youareontheactiveside. 

AMB:

No,I'mnot!

（almostwhispering）Imean,notthere... 

Theyallstarttodisagree. 

RF:

Comeon,you'relikeahonorroll... 

AMB:

No,Ikissalot...ButIdon'tdo...Idonot!

JC:

I'mtroubledbymyslogan. 

GMarrivesbehindthem. 

GM:

Hello!

EV:

Hey,George!

（Shetakeshisarmandbringshimclosertothegroup）Everybody,thisisGeorgeMadison,editorofLaFemmemagazine.Thesearethelawyers.（turnsherheadtowardshis）Hey... 

GM:

Hey...（theykiss-AMBlooks,disappointedandshockedasthekissgetslonger）. 

RF（tryingtointerruptthekiss）:

Uh...Ah...RichardFish（handsouthishand）Pleasure.AllyandGeorgiawillbehandlingyourcase,wefiguredweputwomenonitgivingtheissue. 

GM:

（toGT,shakingherhand）Hi.（toRF）Great!

EV:

Iwasshowingeveryonemycustomizedcondoms. 

GM:

Aren'ttheyfabulous?

BT（holdingoutone）:

"Caution-Frostbite"?

EV（takingitfromBilly'shand）:

Oh,that'sNelle's.（givingGMone）Andhere'soneforyousweetie. 

GM:

Aha!

"Beenthere"!

Verycool!

（theybothlaughandkissagain） 

Theunisex.AMBandGTenter. 

GT:

Isthatherboyfriend?

AMB:

Idon'tknow. 

GT:

He'scute. 

AMB:

Reallycute!

How...What'sthedeal?

GT:

Whatdoyoumeanwhat'sthedeal?

AMB:

Howdidshegetacutesmartguy?

Oh,he'smarried!

GT:

Didn'tseearing. 

AMB（openingastall）:

Well,it'snotthatI'mnothappyforher,it'sjustthat（looksintothestallandstartsscreaming-there'safrogonthetoiletseat） 

GT:

What?

AMB:

（frantic）There'sa...（calmsdowntotally）Oh.Veryfunny!

GT:

What?

AMB:

Somebodyputafakefrogonthetoiletseat（GTlaughs）.Whatlittlejuvenile（thefrogleapsonAlly,andendsupinherhair-GTandAMBscream）Ah,he'sonme,gethim,he'sonme... 

GT（opensthestallandisfrightenedaswell）:

Ican'tgethim!

AMB:

He'sonme,gethim,he'sonme... 

JC（enterstheunisexandwalksquicklytowardsAMB）:

Stefan!

Stefan!

（startsuntanglingAMB'shairtogetthefrog）Holdstill.Letmegethim,letmegethim. 

AMB:

Myhair!

Didhepee?

JC（grabbingthefrogforgood）:

ComehereStefan,comehere. 

AMB:

Stefan?

He'sSwedish?

JC:

Heescapedoutofhiscontainer,hemusthavehoppedinhere. 

GT:

Youhaveapetfrog?

JC:

He'sashowfrog.Iwon'tstandtobedisparaged. 

GT（comingoutofthestallandwalkingtowardsJCholdingthefrognexttoAMB）:

I'mnot...notdisparagingyou,Ijust..（AMBsmellsherhair） 

JC:

I'manamateurherpetologist,theNewEnglandregionalsarecomingupnextweek,I'vebeenbringinghiminforalittleextrapractice（putsStefanonhisjacketcollar,thefroggetsuptohisshoulder）Settle.Settle!

Comeon.（hetakeshimbackintohishandandleaves-GTandAMBjustlookateachother,andAMBsmellsherhaironcemore）. 

AMB'soffice.GT,GMandAMB. 

GM:

OneminuteI'm"Hero-Editor-In-Chief",thenextsecondit's"Cleanoutyouroffice"!

GT:

Andthereasontheygaveyou?

GM:

Religion!

GT:

Sheactuallysaidthat?

GM:

Yes.There'sanupcomingprofileonmeintheTimesmagazinesection.TalksaboutmebeingaBaptist,andasapre-emptivestrikeshefiredme. 

AMB（seatingatherdesk,GMandGTsitinfrontofthedesk）:

Shewentonrecordcitingreligionasacause?

GM:

TheBaptistfaithisn'tentirelyprogressivewhenitcomestowomen,andCatherinethoughtthatmybeingaBaptistrancontrarytotheideologyofthemagazine.She'srunningscaredofanypoliticalfall-out,bestIcantell. 

GT:

Ifwefileamotionex-partewecanactuallygointoday. 

GM:

Andthecourtcanactuallyforcethemtore-hireme?

AMB:

Well,theydon'tliketodothat,butwhoknows,you'regotareallygreatface.（Realizeswhatshejustsaidandlookshorrified）Case!

（looksburningred,imaginingherskintoalmostboil） 

JC'soffice.JCislookingatthecontainerwhereStefanis.Lookslikeanfishtankwithoutwaterbutwithherbsandrocks.JC'ssealingthetopwithScotchtape. 

JC:

He'sgotstronglittlelegs,hecanpushthistoprightoff. 

RF:

Howlonghaveyouhadthelittleguy?

JC:

6years. 

RF:

6years?

John,thelongestyou'vegonewithawomanwas3,you'vebeenwithafrogfor6?

JC（gettingup）:

IstheresomethingyouwantRichard?

RF:

Well,howisitgoingwithNelle?

JC:

Whatdoyoumean?

RF:

Imean,howisitgoing?

JC:

Ionlyintendtocovetherfromafar,youknowthis. 

RF（gettingupaswell）:

Well,whatabouttalking,doyoutwotalk?

JC:

Maybealittle.Myrehearsalbufferstiffens,Ineverremembertheconversation. 

RF:

Yourrehearsalwhat?

JC:

Buffer.Therehearsalbufferisthepartofthebrainthattransformsstingsfromshort-termmemorytolong-term.Wellmybufferstiffensinhercompany. 

RF:

Ah,well,thenexttimeyoutalktoher,couldyoudiscreetlyaskherifLinglikesme?

JC:

You'vebeenoutonthreedates!

RF:

Iknow,butwell,everytimeIgotokisshershegivesmethecheek. 

JC:

Maybeshe'sshy. 

RF:

Ling?

Ohyesthelittlewallflower!

（picksupthecontainer）MaybeI'mmissingsomething. 

JC:

Haveyoutriedbells?

Youknow（bellsstarttoring,andwhenRFthinksaboutthemtheyfadeout） 

RF:

Idon'tthingthat'lldoitJohn.JusttalktoNelle,ifyoucan.Approachher. 

JC:

Youreallylikethiswoman.（triestogetthecontainerbackbutRFwon'tletgo）Richard?

RF:

Oh.（letsgoofthecontainer）. 

Courtroom.GTisspeakinginfrontofthejudge.AMBandGMattheplaintiff'stable. 

GT:

Hewasfiredforhisreligion,ifthatisn'tblatantdiscrimination... 

Attorney:

Howcanyou