孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评Why isnt the child obedient Because you wont criticizeWord格式文档下载.docx
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孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评Why isnt the child obedient Because you wont criticizeWord格式文档下载.docx
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smannersarebasicallyoutofthereachoftheirparents.Assoonasshefellonthefloorcarelessly,themotherwouldsay,"
howcanyoubesocareless?
"
!
Iftheexamresultsarenotsatisfactory,therewillbeavoicesounded:
"
youseehowtheexamsobad."
."
Ifaccidentallylostsomething,therewillbeavoicesaid:
howdoyoualwaysabsent-minded."
Justhitthechild,hasnotcomeoutfromthesad,painfulgrievances,evenhumiliatingemotions,oftenwithastormofcriticism,theheartIfeelunhappy,butnotwhatway!
Butcanonlysilentlysilently,boldmaytopwords,butitwillprovokescolding,reallywrongedyoumaycry.OhThiscanbeevenworse,parentswillshout"
crywhatcry."
There'
snothingtocryabout!
Andhaveyoueverthoughtaboutit?
Whydoyoualwayscriticizefrommorningtillnight?
Whydoyouoftencriticizethesamequestion?
Isitbecausethechildisdisobedient?
Notsensible?
stoomuchtrouble
Haveyoueverwonderedwhyyourcriticismdidn'
Somepeoplesighthatlifeisdifficult!
It'
shardertobeawoman!
Ithinkyoumustsaynowthatit'
shardertobeamotherthantobeamother!
EverydayIgettothefronttosubscribetomagazinesandnewspapers.Thereisanofficerondutywhoisanoldladyandhergranddaughteroftencomeshereafterschool.Oneday,asusual,Igotthenewspaperandwentinandsawthelittlegirllyingonthedeskwritingherhomework.Theoldladywasteachingherlittlegranddaughter,"
ah!
What'
swrongwithyou?
Thewritingissougly!
Thisrewrite,thatonehastoberewritten!
Handbyhandtopulloutalittlegirlangrilyrebukedthesideedge,thelittlegirlseemstousetheeraseractionistooslow.Thelittlegirlpressedherlipstightly,hereyesstillinsilenttears,andreluctantlyerasedthewordsshehadjustwritten.Iamcurioustosee,theoriginalisthekindofpracticewordswork,everywordwrittenmanytimes,butthewordswrittenintheMword,seethelittlegirljustwenttoschoolsoon.Somecharactersarewrittenwell,andsomecharactersarereallyugly.Theyarenothunginthegridofwords,orsimplyputthelegsout.Ithought,assuchnowonder,juststarted!
Iandtheoldladyiscooked,Iknowhergranddaughter'
sname,calledyingko.
SoIsaid:
aunt,youdon'
tworryaboutme,andthe."
Yes,youareeducated,"
theoldladysaidhappily."
Tellheraboutit."
Isaid:
theah,dohomework?
Letmesee!
Thelittlegirlseemedtobestillveryunhappyandanswered,"
Oh!
Ipickedupherexercisebookandsaid,"
Isthepracticeofwritingwritenewwordsah,reallygoodah."
Thelittlegirlseemedtohavefallenoutofhermindandstretchedherheadtogethertoreadherbook.
Ithenasked,"
bytheway,wouldyoushowmewhichoneyouwritebest?
Thelittlegirlmadeaquickglanceatitandquicklypressedoneofherwordswithheryoungfingers.
ThewordIreadwasreallygood,thenIasked,"
Oh,whichwordistheleastbeautifulone?
Iaskedadrawling,beforesayingallthatlittlegirlquicklytookthejobfrommyhands,towhichapoorlywrittenwordquicklyerased.
Inoddedapprovinglyandsaid:
Yingko,Ithinkyoucanwriteabetterthanthebestwordto!
Isthatso?
Thelittlegirlnoddedvigorously,andsooninthebookandwriteaword,isakindofverygoodcharacter,fullofindomitablespirit.
Ipattedherontheheadandsaid,"
great!
Takeyourtime,grandma.Don'
tbeunhappy!
Nothreeminutes,thelittlegirl'
sperformance.
Theoldladysaidinsurprise:
MissZhao,howcanthegirllistentoyoulikethis?
Isaidtoher,"
cursingisnotthebestway."
Encouragementismuchbetterthancriticism."
Asthesayinggoes,"
thegood-for-nothing"
isalsotrueforchildren.
Criticismasameansofeducation,thepurposeistoletthechildknowthecauseoftheerror,andlatercanavoidorcorrect.
Butinfact,manyparentshavethisexperience,andchildrentospeakwell,talkaboutthetruthdoesnotwork,criticismdoesnotwork,anxioustoplayamealisstilluseless,howtodotheeffectisnotgood!
Anyway,it'
snousetalkingorscolding!
Beatthepipe!
Nowit'
stimeforparentstothinkaboutit.Thechildmadeamistake,
Intheendhowtomanage?
Howtoeducatechildren?
Shouldwecriticizeifwearewrong?
1,uselesscriticism
Let'
sfirstlookatsomeofthephenomenaandcharacteristicsofparentscriticizingtheirchildren.
(1)criticismisemotional
Oncethechildmistakes,parentstendtobeemotional,pale,dancing,murmuring,eyes,voice,languagefast,whileitisadangeroussituation,fullyanddelightfully!
Well,finished,scolded,andtheheartisalsohappy,butalsobalanced.Andyoumaynotknow,whenthefamilygrowuptospendtime,mostofthechildren'
smindiscalculated:
nowisscoldedhalf."
Justalittlemorepatience,andsoonit'
sallover."
Theparentssuddenlystoppedandaskedwhenthechildrenshouted:
doyouunderstand?
Thechildimmediatelyreflected,"
yes,Ido."
Rememberyet?
Remember!
Willyoustillcommitcrimeslater?
No!
Itwassoniceandelaboratejusttoputanendtothestorm.Ifthereisavideocamera,theparentslookattheirfacialexpressionsandperformance,reallycannotbeartoseeah!
Andwhatthechildsaystoyouisoftennottobeabletofallback,justdonotknowwhatyouhavesaidatall.Justonething:
Iwaswrong,soyoucalledmenames!
Eventheguiltanduneasinessofthemistakevanishedwiththeroarofcriticism.Becausetheyunderstandalittle,andthenscold,generalwillbefine!
Theonlythingthatchildrendoandareinterestediniswaiting,waitingfortheendoftheblame!
Theendresultis"
taketheheartoutofyourmouth"
"
youscoldme,andIdomine."
.
Youcancountonthismorepersonalemotionalcatharsis.Howeffectiveissubjectivecriticism?
Infact,alotoftimes,silenceisfarmoreeffectivethancriticism.
Thepurposeofcriticismistomakethechildawareofhisproblems,tounderstandandacceptthecorrectsuggestions,andtocorrecttheminaction.Asananalysisandevaluationofafault,itshouldbeveryrational.Inthisprocess,temperwillinevitablycomplain,canaccept,ventobjects.
Imaginehowsuchanemotioncanwinrespectfromchildren,andhowtoconvincechildren,andhowtoletchildrenlistentoit?
(2)theoverflowofcriticism
Sometimes,ourparentscriticizedthechild,impassionedvoice,speedfast,brainactivity,thinkingofjumping,Lenovorich,exaggeration.Forexample,whenabowlwasplayed,youcouldthinkoflosingyourkeys,losingmoney,losingface(becauseyoufailedtheexam),andyoucouldalsofight,watchTV,playgamesandsoon.Inaword,anythingthatcanberememberedcanbereplayedlikeamovielens.Indeed,informative,allusive,saychildreneyelidsdoubled,mouthoff,necktwist,headlow,thought:
saywhatyoulove!
Notthirsty,either?
Hum!
Criticismshouldbetargeted,saywhatthecurrentproblems,itisgood,butcannotblamethejointnegligence,beforewealsocount.The"
oldold"
againwillonlyletthechildrenfeeltired,hateandhatredforparents,andbecauseotherthingstopulltoomuch,dilutethecurrenttheme,themaincontradictioniseasytobeweakenedandignored.Veryfunny,oftenhaveparentstalkingstopped,how?
ItwasawhileIforgotwhattosay!
Hadtolaughatmyselfandsaid:
well,lookatyou,I'
mangry!
Justimagine,suchcriticismmakeschildrenbitterandfreethemeofhowcouldhelpsolvetheproblem?
(3)simplicityofcriticism
Alotoftimes,whenachildmakesamistake,aparent'
sperformanceisoftencriticized,notcriticized,andcriticizedwithoutcriticism.ManyparentshavehadchildrenLaichuangphenomenon,isoftenthesidetosidechatter,andthechildrenaretoregardthisasbackgroundnoise.Therewasnocriticismatall.Becausethechildisveryclear,ifyouwalktolearntobelate,parentswillhaveawaytoletthechildrenontimetoschool,acarcanbesent,nocarcantakeataxiah.
AparentonceaskedmewhatIshoulddoaboutitIsaiditwasverysimple,youdon'
tcareabouthim,andhe'
llbecriticizedbytheschoolifyouarelate.Becauseyouhaveallthewaythatheshouldnotbelate,bearchildreninbedisashieldconsequences,sohewasconfidentcalmlyinbed,youscoldhimforwhat?
Therearemanysituationslikethis,inwhichparentscriticizeonlythephenomenonwithouttakingpracticalandeffectivesolutions.
(4)criticismisimpatient
Therearealotofthetimeitis,thechildrendidn'
tevenrealizethemistakeisimminentorhascome,notdeeplyawareofmistakescanbringwhatkindofconsequences,ourparentsarealreadycanscarcelywait,gasisnotonetoplay,usuallyistheeyesandthemouth,evenhandto.
Manisnotasaint,
Toerrishuman"
?
Moreover,"
whoknowsnotyet?
It'
snormaltomakemistakes,andit'
snormaltomakemistakeswhenyoufirstexperiencesomething!
Butparentsdonotgivechildrenenoughtimeandspacetoexperiencemistakes,trysetbacks,andchildrendon'
tevenknowwhat'
swrong.Criticismandblamehavecomealong.Thisanxious,quick,impatientofcriticism,oftenkillchildren'
screativity,limitingthedevelopmentofchildren.
Whyaretheremanychildrenwhoarenotinterestedinlearning?
Itisbecauseparentsinterfereto
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