学会运用亮点词语及魔鬼训练范文文档格式.docx

学会运用亮点词语及魔鬼训练范文文档格式.docx

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4.避免生造词语

TobeathreegoodstudentisalwaysasymbolofachievementfortheChinesestudents.

Tobeanall-roundstudentisalwaysasymbolofachievementfortheChinesestudents.

二、用词形象生动

1.选用具体明确的词

1）Noonesawthebankbeingbrokeninto.

Noonewitnessedthebankbeingbrokeninto.

2）Piracyhasbecomeaphenomenonthatcanbeseeneverywhere.

Piracyhasbecomeaprevailingphenomenon.

2.利用不同的词类

Thesenovelsarewritteninplainlanguagesothateveryonecanreadwhentheywanttoentertainorrelaxthemselves.

Thesenovelsarewritteninplainlanguagesothateveryonecanreadforentertainmentortelaxation.

3．动态动词的使用

具体动作的动态动词往往比be,therebe,make,need等动词更有活力。

Therearevariousansweresamongdifferentgroupsofpeople.

Answersvaryamongdifferentgroupsofpeople.

三、避免重复和口语化

1.避免重复

写作中应尽量在此时做到言简意赅。

另外，要有意识地使用同义词、同根词、上义词或下义词来取代上文中出现的词汇。

Withthepublicationofthenovel,hebecamefamousasthegreatestwriterlivingthen,andhehasbeenmoreandmorefamousasamajorAmericanauthoreversince.HeisnowalsobecomingmoreandmorefamouswithChinesereaders.

Withthepublicationofthenovel,hebecamefamousasthegreatestwriterlivingthen,andhisreputationasamajorAmericanauthorhasbeenontheincreaseeversince.HeisnowalsobecomingmoreandmorepopularwithChinesereaders.

2.避免口语话

写作时要避免使用口语化的词汇和方言俚语。

Ifyoudon’tstudyhard,youwilleatit（忍受）onthetest.

Ifyoudon’tstudyhard,youwillfailonthetest.

四、注意过渡衔接

为了能够使文章主题明确、线索明了、浑然一体，句与句之间需要一定的连接手段，最常见的就是使用过渡性词语。

魔鬼训练：

设计亮点

下面先举一篇ComputerandI的14分优秀作文的例子，来对比说明如何运用闪光词汇与短语。

作文

词语比较点评

Ineverforgettheexceedinglythrillingdaywhenmymotherboughtmeacomputerasbirthdaypresent,whichexertedatremendousfascinationonmesothatIindulgedmyselfingooglinganarmyofusefulinformationIhadexpected,andenjoyaseaofmelodiousclassicmusic.ThatnightIwassleepless,feelingthatthewholeworldbelongedtome.

Exceedingly替换very

Thrilling替换exciting

exertedatremendousfascinationonme替换sb.beinterestedinsth.

googling替换searching

anarmyof/aseaof替换alotof

Thedawnofthenewcenturywitnessedtheincreasingpopularityofcomputers.Coincidentwiththeadvancementofscienceandtechnology,computerspouringintothecurrentsocietyasafashionareappealingtogrowingindividuals.Itisnoexaggerationtosaywehavebeensubergedbythem,inlargemeasure！

increasingpopularity替换very

Coincidentwith替换With

Advancement替换development

pouringinto替换enterinto

current替换　now

appealingtogrowingindividuals替换sb.beinaterestedinmoreandmorepeople

Forastart,wecan,freely,searchdesiredinformationatanymoment.Littlebylittle,ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened.Additionally,wecangethugerecreationsonlinebychatting,playinggames,ordeliveringemail.

Forastart替换tobeginwith

Freely插入语

ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened被动

Additionally替换inaddition/besides

delivering替换send

Thereisnodenyingthat,however,computerscanfunctioninthedisserviceofhumanbeings,inaway,especiallythegrowingviolence,pornpictures,AV-filmsemergingonthescreen,whichleadsquiteafewnetcitizenstocopying.

emerging替换appearing（fading替换disappearing）

Asaclassicproverbgoesthatnogardenhasnoweeds.Computersdoplayapositiveroleinthedevelopmentofpeople’slives,despiteasliceofunfavorableimpacts.Weshould,therefore,takeadvantageofthefruitsandavoidtheoppositefacet.

nogardenhasnoweeds替换everycoinhastwosides

positive替换important/good

asliceofunfavorableimpacts替换apartofbadeffects/influences

fruits替换advantages（defects替换disadvantages）

facet替换aspect

练习一句子单词练习

1.Nuclearproliferationisalwaysthetopproblemtheparticipantshavetodiscussatthiskindofmeet.（用近义词替换）

2.EatingdumplingsontheEveofLunarNewYearsisanationalhabitinChina.（同上）

3.Thefirstappearancewilldeterminetheapplicant’sfate.（插入moreoftentheannot）

4.Asweallknow,thepopulationofChinaisbecomingmoreandmore.（纠正搭配错误）

5.Thepopularofthebeautyindustryisbecauseofthefollowingreasons.（同上）

6.Womenhavestillnoequalrightsinthesociety.（用更具体的、更具动态的动词替换）

7.Pleasegiveyourhandtothisgirl,helphertopassthemostdifficultperiodinherlife,andtrytomakeherfinancialandmentalburdenlessandless.（用更具动态的动词换）

8.Afterwehaveobservedthemcarefullyandanalyzedthemcritically,wemayiderntifytheconceptionsthatwillactuallycontributetothesocialdevelopment.（其他词性改写）

9.Weshouldtaketheresponsibilityofprotectingourenvironment.（更具动态的动词替换）

10.Itisillegalunderthelawtomanufactureandsellfakecommodities.（避免啰嗦）

参考答案

1.Nuclearproliferationisalwaysthetopproblemtheparticipantshavetodiscussatthiskindofmeet.（用近义词替换）

1.issue（指重要的议题或争论点，二problem指实际存在或需要解决的问题）

2.EatingdumplingsontheEveofLunarNewYearsisanationalhabitinChina.（同上）

2.custom（值较大的社会群体的传统习惯，二habit则指个人或较小群体的习惯）

3.Thefirstappearancewilldeterminetheapplicant’sfate.（插入moreoftentheannot）

3.Thefirstappearancemoreoftenthannot（加上限定词后，更加严谨，更具说服力）

4.Asweallknow,thepopulationofChinaisbecomingmoreandmore.（纠正搭配错误）

4.thepopulation…increasinglylarge（形容人口不用many,而用large）

5.Thepopularofthebeautyindustryisbecauseofthefollowingreasons.（同上）

5.isduetothefollowingreasons（because和reason一般不能够搭配使用）

6.Womenhavestillnoequalrightsinthesociety.（用更具体的、更具动态的动词替换）

6.denied/enjoy（enjoy和deny比have更加具体也更具有动态效果，表达更加生动）

7.Pleasegiveyourhandtothisgirl,helphertopassthemostdifficultperiodinherlife,andtrytomakeherfinancialandmentalburdenlessandless.（用更具动态的动词换）

7.relieve（比make更具有动态效果，表达更加生动）

8.Afterwehaveobservedthemcarefullyandanalyzedthemcritically,wemayiderntifytheconceptionsthatwillactuallycontributetothesocialdevelopment.（其他词性改写）

8.Throughcarefulobservationandcriticalanalysis（将原来的“动词+副词”结构改成“形容词+抽象名词”结构，摆脱了汉语思维，更加生动地道，更简洁）

9.Weshouldtaketheresponsibilityofprotectingourenvironment.（更具动态的动词替换）

9.shoulder/bear（比take要生动形象）

10.Itisillegalunderthelawtomanufactureandsellfakecommodities.（避免啰嗦）

10.illegal（本身就表示“不合法的”）

改文训练

改文训练一

MyPreferredTypeofFriends

1.有的人喜欢与自己完全相同的人做朋友；

有的人则喜欢结交志同道合的人做朋友

2.比较交这两类朋友的好处

3.你喜欢交哪类朋友，说明理由。

8分作文

（1）Friendshipisveryimportant.

（2）However,wecan’tmakefriendswitheverybody.（3）Somepeoplelikesamefriends.（4）Somepeoplelikedifferentfriends.

（5）Samefriendsareverybeneficialtous.（6）Theyhavemanysameinterests,hobbiesandexperienceswithus.（7）Andtheyhavesamefeelingswithus.（8）Thesefriendsalsooftenknowhowtokeepuseachother’strust.（9）Andtheyknowthewaytoavoidprobablefriction.

（10）However,differentfriendsalsobringusmanyadvantages.（11）Ifweoftencontactdifferentfriends,itcanmakeyourworldoutlookbroad.（12）Besides,differentfriendscanleadtonewrisk.（13）Differentfriendscanshowyounewroadsinlife.

（14）Iliketomakesamefriends.（15）Foronething,thesamefeaturesbringfriendstogether.（16）Foranother,samefriendshavesamecharacters,hobbiesandsocialbackgroundswithus,sotheycanunderstandusbetter.（17）Ibelievethatifonemakesmorefriendshelikes,hewillgetmorehelpandmorepleasure.

14分作文

（1）（Friendshipisveryimportant.）Friendshipisoneoftheeternalthemesintheliteratureofalllanguages.（有文采，增加感染力）

（2）However,（wecan’tmake）friendswitheverybody.Itisimpossibleforustomake…（无灵主语）（3）Somepeoplelike（same）familiarfriends.（4）Whileothersprefer（Somepeoplelike）differentfriends.（合成一句）

（5）（Samefriendsareverybeneficialtous.）Undoubtedly,itisverybeneficialforustomakesimilarfriends.（强调句）First,（使条理清晰）（6）（Theyhavemanysameinterests,hobbiesandexperienceswithus.（7）Andtheyhavesamefeelingswithus.）Theycanshare（比have具有动态含义）ourfeelingssincetherearemanycommoninterests,hobbiesandevenexperiencesbetweenus.（合成一句）（8）（Thesefriendsalsooftenknowhowtokeepuseachother’strust.）Second（替换also，条理清晰）,similarfriendsalwaysknowhowtomaintainourmutual（替换eachother’s）trustand（9）（Andtheyknowthewaytoavoidprobablefriction.）howtoavoidpotential（替换probable）frictionbetweenus.（用and合并）

（10）However,differentfriends（also）equally（更显水平）bringusmanyadvantages.（11）（Ifweoftencontactdifferentfriends,itcanmakeyourworldoutlookbroad.）Frequentcontact（原动词变名词）withdifferentfriendsbroadens（代替make…broad,更具动态）ourworldoutlook（复合句改为简单句）.（12）Besides,differentfriendscannotonlyleadtonew（risk）advantures（比risk更加准确）.（13）（Differentfriendscanshowyounewroadsinlife.）butalsoshowyounewavenues（比road更加准确）inlife.

（14）（Iliketomakesamefriends.）Weighingup（更加逻辑）thesetwoarguments,Iprefer（比like出彩）tohavesimilarfrends.（15）Foronething,（thesamefeatures）itisthesimilarity（比samefeatures更加简洁地道）thatbringsfriendstogether.（强调句）bringfriendstogether.（16）Foranother,（samefriendshavesamecharacters,hobbiesandsocialbackgroundswithus,sothey）thefriendswhose（改成定语从句，更紧凑）characters,hobbiesandsocialbackgroundsaresimilartouscanunderstandusbetter.（17）（Ibelievethatifonemakesmorefriendshelikes,hewillgetmo