外企辞职报告范文3篇.docx
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外企辞职报告范文3篇.docx
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外企辞职报告范文3篇
外企辞职报告范文3篇
外企辞职报告范文篇一:
DearMr.Smith,Asagraduateofaninstitutionofhighereducation,Ihaveafewverybasicexpectations.Chiefamongtheseisthatmydirectsuperiorshaveanintellectthatrangesabovethecommongroundsquirrel.Afteryourconsistentandannoyingharassmentofmyco-workersandmeduringthecommissionofourduties,Icanonlysurmisethatyouareoneofthefewtruegeneticwastesofourtime.
Askingme,anetworkadministrator,toexplaineverylittlenuanceofeverythingIdoeachtimeyouhappentostrollintomyofficeisnotonlyawasteoftime,butalsoawasteofpreciousoxygen.IwashiredbecauseIknowhowtonetworkcomputersystems,andyouwereapparentlyhiredtoprovideamusementtomyselfandotheremployees,whowatchyouvainlyattempttounderstandtheconceptofcutandpasteforthehundredthtime.Youwillneverunderstandcomputers.
Somethingasincrediblysimpleasbinarystillgivesyoutoomanyoptions.Youwillalsoneverunderstandwhypeoplehateyou,butIamgoingtotryandexplainittoyou,eventhoughIamsurethiswillbejustaseffectiveastellingyouwhatanIPaddressis.YourshinynewiMachasmorepersonalitythanyoueverwill.
copyrightdedecmsYouwalkaroundthebuildingallday,shiftlesslylookingforfaultinothers.Youhaveasharpdressed,uselesslookaboutyouthatmayhaveworkedforyourinterview,butnowthatyouactuallyhaveresponsibility,youpawnitoffonoverworkedstaff,hopingtheirtalentwillcoverforyourglaringineptitude.Inaworldofmanagerialevolution,youaretheblue-greenalgaethateveryoneelseeatsandlaughsat.ManagerslikeyouareasadproofoftheDilbertprinciple.Sincethissituationisunlikelytochangewithoutyougettingafullfrontallobotomyreversal,Iamforcedtotendermyresignation.
However,Ihaveafewpartingthoughts.1.Whensomeonecallsyouinreferencetoemployment,itisillegalforyoutogivemeabadrecommendation.ThemostyoucansaytohurtmeisIprefernottocomment.Iwillhavefriendsrandomlycallyouoverthenextcoupleofyearstokeepyouhonest,becauseIknowyouwouldbeunabletodoitonyourown.2.Ihaveallthepasswordstoeveryaccountonthesystem,andIknoweverypasswordyouhaveusedforthelastfiveyears.Ifyoudecidetogetcute,Iamgoingtopublishyourfavoriteslist,whichIconvenientlysavedwhenyoumademebackupyouruselessfiles.
IdobelievethattermslikeLolitaarenotusuallyviewedfavorablybytheadministration.3.WhenyouborrowedthedigitalcameratotakepicturesofyourMothersbirthday,youneglectedtomentionthatyouweregoingtotakepicturesofyourselfinthemirrornude.Thenyouforgottoerasethemlikethetechno-moronyoureallyare.
SufficeittosayIhaveneverseensuchoddactswithasaucebottle,butIassureyouthatthosehavebeencopiedandkeptinsafeplacespendingtheauthoringofaglowingletterofrecommendation.(Trytouseaspellcheckplease;Ihatehavingtocorrectyourmistakes.)Thankyouforyourtime,andIexpecttheletterofrecommendationonmydeskby8:
00amtomorrow.Onewordofthistoanybody,andallofyourlittletwistedrepugnantobsessionswillbeopentothepublic.Neverscrewwithyoursystemsadministrator.Why?
Becausetheyknowwhatyoudowithallthatfreetime!
Wishingyouagrandandgloriousday.
外企辞职报告范文篇二:
dearxxx,
asagraduateofaninstitutionofhighereducation,ihaveafewverybasicexpectations.chiefamongtheseisthatmydirectsuperiorshaveanintellectthatrangesabovethecommongroundsquirrel.afteryourconsistentandannoyingharassmentofmyco-workersandmeduringthecommissionofourduties,icanonlysurmisethatyouareoneofthefewtruegeneticwastesofourtime.askingme,anetworkadministrator,toexplaineverylittlenuanceofeverythingidoeachtimeyouhappentostrollintomyofficeisnotonlyawasteoftime,butalsoawasteofpreciousoxygen.iwashiredbecauseiknowhowtonetworkcomputersystems,andyouwereapparentlyhiredtoprovideamusementtomyselfandotheremployees,whowatchyouvainlyattempttounderstandtheconceptofcutandpasteforthehundredthtime.
youwillneverunderstandcomputers.somethingasincrediblysimpleasbinarystillgivesyoutoomanyoptions.youwillalsoneverunderstandwhypeoplehateyou,butiamgoingtotryandexplainittoyou,eventhoughiamsurethiswillbejustaseffectiveastellingyouwhatanipaddressis.yourshinynewimachasmorepersonalitythanyoueverwill.
youwalkaroundthebuildingallday,shiftlesslylookingforfaultinothers.youhaveasharpdressed,uselesslookaboutyouthatmayhaveworkedforyourinterview,butnowthatyouactuallyhaveresponsibility,youpawnitoffonoverworkedstaff,hopingtheirtalen
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