TED演讲如何成为一个更好的交谈者中英文.docx
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TED演讲如何成为一个更好的交谈者中英文.docx
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TED演讲如何成为一个更好的交谈者中英文
TED演讲:
如何成为一个更好的交谈者?
如何成为一个好的交谈者?
我们一定听过很多这方面的建议,例如:
要看着对方的眼睛,提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题,注视和点头并且微笑来表明你的专注,重复你刚才听到的,或者做总结等。
本次TED演讲者Celeste Headlee女士认为这些技巧完全没用,我们可以将它们丢在一边,因为如果你交谈时确实很专心的话,就根本没必要去学习如何表现你很专心的技巧。
让我们洗耳聆听她这次给大家带来的最新也是最实用关于如何成为更好交谈者的十条建议吧。
When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to haveconversations — and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as aradio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation:
Honesty, brevity,clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules forhaving better conversations."Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says."And, mostimportantly, be prepared to be amazed."
TED演讲英文文稿:
TED演讲中文文稿:
00:
11
All right, I want to see a show of hands:
how many of you have unfriended someone onFacebook,because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food?
好的,我想让大家举手示意一下,有多少人曾经在Facebook上拉黑过好友?
因为他们发表过关于政治、宗教、儿童权益、或者食物等不恰当的言论?
00:
22(Laughter)
00:
24
And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don't want to talkto them?
有多少人至少有一个不想见的人?
因为你就是不想和对方说话?
00:
29(Laughter)
00:
31
You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the adviceof Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":
Stick to the weather and your health. But these days, withclimate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --
要知道,在过去想要一段礼貌的交谈,我们只要遵循享利.希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中的忠告:
只谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了。
但这些年随着气侯变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展。
。
。
。
00:
43(Laughter)
00:
45are not safe either. So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has thepotential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and whereeven the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's notnormal. Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment,we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history. We're less likelyto compromise,which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions aboutwhere to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we alreadybelieve. Again, that means we're not listening to each other. A conversation requires a balancebetween talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.
这招也不怎么管用了。
因此,在我们生活的这个世界,这个每一次交谈,都有可能发展为争论的世界,政客无法彼此交谈,甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情,都有人群情绪激昂的赞成或反对,这太不正常了。
皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了一次调查,发现此刻我们的偏激程度,我们立场鲜明的程度,比历史上任何时期都要高。
我们更不倾向于妥协,我意味着我们没有倾听彼此。
我们做的各种决定,选择生活在何处,与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友,都只基于我们已有的信念。
再重复一遍,这说我们没有倾听彼此。
交谈需要平衡讲述和倾听,而不知怎么的,我们却渐渐失掉了这种平衡。
01:
34Now, part of that is due to technology. The smartphones that you all either have in your hands orclose enough that you could grab them really quickly. According to Pew Research, about a third ofAmerican teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day. And many of them, almost most ofthem, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face. There's thisgreat piece in The Atlantic. It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell. And hegave his kids a communication project. He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specificsubject without using notes. And he said this:
"I came to realize..."
技术进步是部分原因。
比如智能手机,现在就在你们手里,或者就在旁边,随手就能拿到。
据皮尤的研究称,大约三分之一的美国青少年每天发送超过一百条短信。
而这中间很多人,几乎所有人,更倾向于给朋友发短信。
而不是面对面的交谈。
《大西洋》杂志登过一篇很棒的文章,作者是高中教师保罗.巴恩韦尔。
他给自己学生一项交流任务,希望教会他们如何不错助笔记针对某一话题发表演讲,然后他说:
我开始意识到......
02:
07(Laughter)
02:
11"I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we failto teach. Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, butrarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills. It mightsound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves:
Is there any 21st-century skill moreimportant than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?
"
我开始意识到交流能力,可能是被我们忽视的,没有好好教授的技能。
孩子每天花费数小时通过屏幕接触创意和其他伙伴,但很少有机会去发掘自已的人际交往技能。
这听起来很好笑,但我们必须问问自己;21世纪,有什么技能,会比维持一段连贯、自信的谈话更为重要?
02:
38Now, I make my living talking to people:
Nobel Prize winners, truck drivers, billionaires,kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers. I talk to people that I like. I talk to people that Idon't like. I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level. But I still have agreat conversation with them. So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how totalk and how to listen.
现在,我们的职业就是跟别人谈话。
诺贝尔奖获得者、卡车司机、亿万富翁、幼儿园老师、州长、水管工,我和我喜欢的人交谈,也和我不喜欢的人交谈。
我和在个人层面非常不认同的人交谈,但我仍旧和他有很好的交流。
所以我希望用接来的10分种教你们如何谈话,以及如何倾听。
03:
03Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, thinkof interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you're payingattention,repeat back what you just heard or summarize it. So I want you to forget all of that. It iscrap.
你们中间很多人已经听过无数建议,比如看着对方的眼睛,提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题,注视、点头并且微笑来表明你的专注,重复你刚才听到的,或者做总结。
我想让你们忘掉所有这些。
全都没用。
03:
23(Laughter)
03:
26There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention.
根本没必要去学习如何表现你很专心,如果你确实很专心。
如果你确实很专心。
03:
34(Laughter)
03:
35(Applause)
03:
38Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life. So,I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn how tobe better conversationalists. Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, withoutgetting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.
我其实是把作为职业访谈者一模一样的技巧用在了日常生活中,好,我要来教你们如何采访他人,这其实会帮助你们学习如何成为更好的沟通者。
学习开始一段交谈,不浪费时间,不感到无聊,以及,最重要的是,不冒犯任何人。
03:
59We've all had really great conversations. We've had them before. We know what it's like. The kindof conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you'vemade a real connection or you've been perfectly understood. There is no reason why most of yourinteractions can't be like that.
我们都曾有过很棒的交谈。
我们都曾有过。
我们知道那是什么感觉。
那种结束之后令你感到很享受,很受鼓舞的交谈,或者令你觉得你和别人建立了真实的连接。
或者让你完全得到了他人的理解。
你大部分人际互动不能成为那样。
04:
17So I have 10 basic rules. I'm going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just chooseone of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations.
我有10条基本原则,我会一条条给你们解释,但说真的,如果你选择一条并且熟练掌握,你就已经可以享受更愉快的交谈了。
04:
26Number one:
Don't multitask. And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or yourcar keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don't think aboutyour argument you had with your boss. Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner. Ifyou want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and halfout of it.
第一条:
不要三心二意。
我不是说单纯放下你的手机、平板电脑、车钥匙,或者随便什么握在手里的东西。
我的意思是,处在当下。
进入那个情境中去。
不要想着你这之前和老板的争吵。
不要想着你晚饭吃什么。
如果你想退出交谈,那就退出交谈。
但不要身在曹营心在汉。
04:
49Number two:
Don't pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity forresponse or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.
第二条:
不要好为人师。
如果你想要表达自己的看法,又不想留下任何机会让人回应、争论、反驳或阐发,去写博客吧。
05:
01(Laughter)
05:
04Now, there's a really good reason why I don't allow pundits on my show:
Because they're reallyboring.If they're conservative, they're going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion. Ifthey're liberal, they're going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney. Totallypredictable. And you don't want to be like that. You need to enter every conversation assumingthat you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listeningrequires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personalopinion. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and lessvulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recessesof his or her mind to thelistener. Again, assume that you have something to learn.
有一个很好的理由来说明我的谈话里为什么时候不允许有“专家说教”:
因为真的很无聊。
如果对方是个保守派,那一定讨厌奥巴马、食品劵和堕胎。
如果对方是个自由派,那一定讨厌大银行、石油公司和迪克.切尼。
完全可以预测的。
你肯定不希望那样。
你需要在进入每一次交流时都假定自己可以学习到一些东西。
著名的治疗师M.斯科特.派克说过:
真正的倾听需要把自己放在一边。
有时侯,这意味着把你的个人观点放在一边。
他说感觉到这种接纳,说话的人会变得越来越不脆弱敏感,因而越来越有可能打开自己的内心世界,呈现给倾听者。
再强调一遍,假定你需要学习新东西。
05:
51Bill Nye:
"Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't." I put it thisway:
Everybody is an expert in something.
比尔.奈伊说:
“每一个你将要见到的都有你不知道的东西”。
我来复述一下:
每个人都是某方面的专家。
06:
02Number three:
Use open-ended questions. In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start yourquestions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you'regoing to get a simple answer out. If I ask you,"Were you terrified?
" you're going to respond to themost powerful word in that sentence, which is "terrified," and the answer is "Yes, I was" or "No, Iwasn't." "Were you angry?
""Yes, I was very angry." Let them describe it. They're the ones thatknow. Try asking them things like,"What was that like?
" "How did that feel?
" Because then theymight have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much moreinteresting response.
第三点:
使用开放式问题。
关于这一点,请参考记者采访的提问方式。
以“谁”“什么”“何时”“何地”“为什么”或“如何”开始提问。
如果你询问一个复杂的问题将会得到一个简单的回答。
如果我问你:
“你当时恐惧吗?
”你会回应那句话中最有力的词,即“恐惧”,而将是“是的”或者“不是”。
“你当时气愤吗?
”“是的,我当时气得很。
”让对方去描述,对方者才是了解情境的人。
试着这样问对方:
“那是什么样子?
”“你感觉怎么样?
”因为这样一来,对方可能需要停下来想一想,而你会得到更有意思的回答。
06:
39Number four:
Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to letthem go out of your mind. We've heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for severalminutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out ofnowhere, or it's already been answered. That means the host probably stopped listening twominutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound anddetermined to say that. And we do the exact same thing. We're sitting there having a conversationwith someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.
第四条:
顺其自然。
也就是说,想法会自然流入你
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