关于英语的简单笑话大全Word格式.docx
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关于英语的简单笑话大全Word格式.docx
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我现在要回家了。
2.
Whatdogcanjumphigherthanabuilding?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog,buildingscantjump!
任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。
3.
Whathasahead,atail,andnobody?
什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?
Acoin!
硬币。
4.
Whathasoneeyebutcannotsee?
什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?
Aneedle.
针。
5.
Wife:
"
Howwouldyoudescribeme?
妻子:
你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband:
ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫:
ABCDEFGHIJK.
Whatdoesthatmean?
那是什么意思?
Adorable,beautiful,cute,delightful,elegant,fashionable,gorgeous,andhot."
迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Aw,thankyou,butwhataboutIJK?
哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Imjustkidding!
开个玩笑!
*篇二:
看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译
1.Onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountryroads,seehowthefarmslooked,andperhapstoseehowfarmersearnedtheirliving.Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard,holdingapigupinhishands,andliftingitsothatthepigcouldeatapplesfromanappletree.Thecitymansaidtothefarmer,"
Iseethatyourpiglikesapples,butisn"
tthatquiteawasteoftime?
Thefarmerreplied,"
What"
stimetoapig?
一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说,"
我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?
那位农夫回答说,"
时间对猪有什么意义?
2.TheLooneyBin
Lateonenightattheinsaneasylum(疯人院)oneinmateshouted,"
IamNapoleon!
”Anotheronesaid,"
Howdoyouknow?
Thefirstinmatesaid,"
Godtoldme!
Justthen,avoicefromanotherroomshouted,"
Ididnot!
疯人院
一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:
“我是拿破仑!
”另一个说:
“你怎么知道?
”第一个人说:
“上帝对我说的!
”一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:
“我没说!
”
Notes:
(1)Looney(俚语)疯子
(2)inmate(n.同住者,同室者(特指在医院、监狱))
(3)insaneasylum(疯人院)
3.BoxingandRunning
Danisteachinghissonhowtobox.Ashedoesso,helefthisfriend,"
Thisisatoughworld,soI’mteachingmyboytofight."
Friend:
Butsupposehecomesupagainstsomeonemuchbiggerthanheis,who’salsobeentaughthowtobox."
Dan:
I’mteachinghimhowtorun,too."
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。
他告诉他的朋友:
“这是一个粗暴的世界,所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。
朋友:
“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大,健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?
丹:
“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。
NOTE
comeupagainst遇到一个对手against表示相对的相反的
4.ThewardenoftheprisonfeltsorryforoneofhisinmatesbecauseeveryweekendonVisitor’sDay,mostoftheprisonershadfamilymembersandfriendscoming,butpoorGeorgealwayssataloneinhiscell.
SooneVisitor’sDay,thewardencalledGeorgetohisofficeandsaid,"
Inoticeyou’veneverhadanyvisitors,George."
Sympathetic,heputhishandonGeorge’sshoulder."
Tellme,don’tyouhaveanyfriendsorfamily?
Georgereplied,"
Oh,sureIdo,Warden.It’sjustthatthey’reallinhere!
典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情,因为每逢周末的探访日,大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访,但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一个探访日,典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说:
“乔治,我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。
”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上:
“告诉我,你没有任何朋友或家人吗?
乔治回答:
“喔!
当然有,典狱长,只不过他们全都在这里面!
5.Policeman:
Whydidntyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?
Man:
IfIhadopenedmymouth,theydhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchworse.
警察:
有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?
男子:
要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那就更糟了。
6.Ashoplifter(商店扒手)|wascaughtred-handedtryingtostealawatchfromajewelrystore."
Listen,"
saidtheshoplifter,"
Iknowyoudontwantanytroubleeither.WhatdoyousayIjustbuythewatch,andweforgetaboutthis?
Themanageragreedandwroteupthesalesslip.Thecrook(骗子,坏蛋)lookedattheslipandsaid,"
ThisisalittlemorethanIintendedtospend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。
“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?
经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。
小偷看着单子说道:
“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。
7.Thesuspicious-lookingmandroveuptotheborder,wherehewasgreetedbyasentry(哨兵).Whentheguardlookedinthetrunk,hewassurprisedtofindsixsacksbulgingattheseams(缝合线).[来自我要看笑话]
"
Whatsinhere?
heasked.
Dirt,"
thedriverreplied.
Takethemout,"
theguardinstructed."
Iwanttocheckthem."
Obliging,themanremovedthebags,andsureenough,eachoneofthemcontainednothingbutdirt.Reluctantly,theguardlethimgo.
Aweeklaterthemancameback,andonceagain,thesentrylookedinthetruck.
Whatsinthebagsthistime?
Dirt,moredirt."
saidtheman.
Notbelievinghim,theguardcheckedthesacksand,onceagain,hefoundnothingbutsoil.
Thesamethinghappenedeveryweekforsixmonths,anditfinallybecamesofrustratingtotheguardthathequitandbecameabartender(酒保).
*篇三:
英语幽默小笑话大全
英语幽默小笑话大全
1.akiss
Atadinnerparty,thespeaker,whowastheguestofhonor,wasabouttodeliveraspeechwhenhiswifesittingattheotherendofthetable,senthimapieceofpaperwiththeword"
KISS"
scribbledonit.
Theguestseatednexttothespeakersaid,"
Yourwifemustloveyouverymuch,IseehersendyouaKISSbeforeyoubeginyourspeech."
Thespeakersmiledandexplained,"
Youdontknowmywife.TheKISSshegivemestandsforKeepItShort,Stupid."
2.agreatman
WouldShakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillalivetoday?
Student:
Ofcourse.Hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyhaslivedtoover400years.
一名伟人
如果莎士比亚还活着,他会是一名伟人吗?
学生:
当然。
因为到目前为止,还没有人活到400多岁。
3.buyingyourticket
Threeengineersandthreeaccountantsaretravelingbytraintoaconference.Atthestation,thethreeaccountantseachbuyticketsandwatchasthethreeengineersbuyonlyasingleticket.
Howarethreepeoplegoingtotravelononlyoneticket?
asksanaccountant."
Watchandyoullsee,"
answersanengineer.Theyallboardthetrain.Theaccountantstaketheirrespectiveseatsbutallthreeengineerscramintoarestroomandclosethedoorbehindthem.
Shortlyafterthetrainhasdeparted,theconductorcomesaroundcollectingtickets.Heknocksontherestroomdoorandsays,"
ticket,please."
Thedooropensjustacrackandasinglearmemergeswithaticketinhand.Theconductortakesitandmoveson.
Theaccountantssawthisandagreeditwasquiteacleveridea.Soaftertheconference,theaccountantsdecidetocopytheengineersonthereturntripandsavesomemoney(beingcleverwithmoney,andall!
)Whentheygettothestationtheybuyasingleticketforthereturntrip.
Totheirastonishment,theengineersdontbuyaticketatall."
Howareyougoingtotravelwithoutaticket?
saysoneperplexedaccountant.
answersanengineer.Whentheyboardthetrainthethreeaccountantscramintoarestroomandthethreeengineerscramintoanotheronenearby.Thetraindeparts.
Shortlyafterward,oneoftheengineersleaveshisrestroomandwalksovertotherestroomwheretheaccountantsarehiding.Heknocksonthedoorandsays,"
TwoCutedogs
Amanwalksintoashopandseesacutelittledog.
Heaskstheshopkeeper,"
Doesyourdogbite?
Theshopkeepersays,"
No,mydogdoesnotbite."
Themantriestopetthedogandthedogbiteshim.
Ouch,"
hesays,"
Ithoughtyousaidyourdogdoesnotbite!
Theshopkeeperreplies,"
Thatisnotmydog."
苏子玮
《关于英语的简单笑话大全》
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