英语创新作文大赛官网Word格式.docx

英语创新作文大赛官网Word格式.docx

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yourwritingoughttocontainthreeparts,yourviewpoint,thesupportingideas,andtheconclusion.

comeandjoinusinvolunteerworkrightnow!

onvolunteer

黄昕彤辽宁省鞍山市鞍山一中108班

thedefinitionofthewordvolunteerinlougnan（longman）dictionaryissomeonewhohelpsotherssponstaneously（spontaneously）andwillingly.thatstrue!

lifeisastyleofenjoyingyourself,notonlybyentertaingandeidingyourself,butalsobytheprocessofhelpingothers.

undoubtfully,thosevolunteersrevealtheirgreatloveandpassionfortheircountry.loveistheeternalthemeoftheworld,withouthove（love）,itslikebirdswithoutwings,failingtoshowitstalentsofflying,itslikespringwithoutflowers,buryingischarmingfragrantsinthedeepsoil.theirvoluntyworkuniteschina,shouingtheworldhowunitedchinesepeopleareshockingtheworldofitscooperation.

peoplearoundthecountryaremakingtheireffortstohelpingothers,whichleavestheworldanimpressionthatchinaisavealcountry,andallthepeopleherearelikebrothersandsisters,whocaresalotforothers.youcanneverimaginehowtouchediwaswheniwatchedthetvprogramcalled“movingchina”.13peasantsfromtangshangvolunteeredtohelpthosevictimsofsichuangonhearingthetremendousearthquakehappenedthere,leavingalltheirfarmworkdoneinthefieldtheysacrifiledanythingandhelpedothersatanycost,fortheyknewtheglantpainstheearthquakebringstopeople.theycanneverforgethowmuchpainstheyhavendertakenintheearthquakeandhowmuchhelptheyhavereceivedfromtheworld.theycomparedtheirownfeelingstothevictimsandpassedthesplriton.inthissense,peoplewillpassthespiritfromgenerationtoqueneration,fromchinatoallovertheworld.then,howsweetwilltheworldbe!

ihaveadreamthatoneday,iwillbeamemberofthevolunteerteam.ihaveadreamthatoneday,illmakecontributionstochinahoweverslightestitmaybe.ihaveadreamthatonedayillbeafounderofaworldcharity,helpingpeopleallovertheworld.imfirmlyconvincedthatitwillnotonlybeadreanforme,butalsoadreanforpeoplealloverchina,allovertheworld,andforthegreatglobalvillage.

专家建议：

整篇文章条理清晰，结构完整，总体感觉很好。

但有个别语法错误，固定搭配有些用得不够准确，建议多用课本学过的固定搭配或是词组造句。

专家点评：

文章语言流畅，运用了修辞手法，展现出一定的语言功底。

此外，论据生动有力，让人信服。

如果句子之间的多用些关联词就更好了。

陈茜江苏省哈尔滨市第三中学高三18班

deargrandfather:

howareyou?

iamwritingtoinviteyoutojoinus,inthenextyear,tobeavoluntearinthegreatevent,whichistoholdinshanghai.we,agenerationborninthe90sinourcity,havemadeateamtodothevolunteerwork.andyouarewelcomedbyallourteammembersawingtoyourgreatamountofknowledgeaboutchinesetraditionsandculture.pleasedonttellmeyouaretoooldtodothisjob.ibelieveyouaresuretoacceptmyinvitationafterreadingmyfollowingexplannationoftheimportanceofthevolunteerwork.

nowadays,volunteerwork,whichhasraisedpublicinterestandconcern,isbecommingmoreandmorepopularthroughouttheworld.asisknowntoall,volunteerworkisnotonlymeaningfulbutalsonecessary.onemypersonalwete,whatsmore,itsinterestingandpleasant!

ithelpusdevelopoursel.

firstly,forindividuals,especiallythoseyoung,todovolunteerworkisanawailuabewanytogoinsocialexperience.bydoingvolunteerwork,theycanmeetvorriouspeopleandtheymayrunacrossallkindsoftroubles.theyhowever,canbecomematureanddeterminedbysolvingtheseproblems.youknow,nopains,nogains.also,individualswillrealizethattheydomakeadifferenceinsomeoneelseslife,eventhewholeevent,theworld!

theirconfidencecanberovisedandconfidenceiswhatittakestodoanyjobwell.

forfamilies,ifyourethesidethatreceivedthehelpofthevolunteers,ofcouseyourissuewillbemoreeasilydealtwith.ifyourethesidewhogiveothersyourhand,youwillrealizethereexistsnobetterwaytoeducateyourchildrenthat“avirtwredeseruesamother”becauseyoullgetthebestpresent-smiledeeplyfromonesheart,inthewholeworld.

itisagreatchanceforallmembersgettingclosertoeachotherincommunitiesbytakingpartinvolunteerwork.theirteamspirits,theirco-operationwillbegreatimproued.so,whynot?

themostimportantly,forthewholeworld,fortheentirehumanrace,volunteerworkwillmakeearthabetterplacetolivein,itisthroughvolunteerworkthatweknowtherearesomanypeoplearewillingtohelpothersalthoughtheycantgetmoneyfromit.itisthroughvolunteerworkthatweknowweareallbrothersandsisters,thatweareallfamilies.

mydeargrandfather,caeon!

joinusandhelpintroduceowrgreatchineseculturetotheworld.21centuringisonopencewtury.youcantrustyourselfandpleasetrustus,too!

wellhelpyouandweneedyouhelp!

letsmaketheworldabetterplacebybeingavolunteer!

itsasmallstepforusbutitisaleurgeoneforthewholeworld!

loveyou.

yourgranddaught.

句子之间的衔接做的还不是很到位，建议多练练关联词的用法。

词汇不够丰富，句型变化不多，建议多看些范文，多练一些经典句型。

文章立意很好，整体结构清晰，语言大体流畅，还能够引经据典，显示出有一定的英语（论坛）文化底蕴。

tobeavolunteer，bringarayofsunshine

陈天悦山东省济南市山东省齐钢高级中学高三4班

deartom:

itisagreatpleasureformetohavethewondefulchancetoputpentopaperandsendmygreetingstoyou.yousaidthatyouwantedtobeavolunteeranddidntknowwhetheryoushouldornot.iwanttohelpyouanalyseit.

inmyopinion.ithinkitisnotnolyagoodchancetohelpothersbutalsoagoodopportunitytomakeselp-improvement.youdbetterparticipateinthevolunteerwork.ifwecompaneyouthtoflouers,asisoftenthecase,thentheyoungvolunteersarethemostbeautifulflowers.byjoininginthevounteerwork,youwillleamhowtohelpothersandhowtoloveothers.whatsmoreyoucanalsofinditoutthattherearemanypeoplesufferingfromdisasterandthenyouwillvalueyourcomfortablelife.althoughyoumayfeelverytiredasavolunteeranditmaycostyoumuchtimetohelpothers,istillinsistthatyoushouldbeavolunteerbecausetheadvantagesbrightaboutbyvolunteerworkoverweighthe

disadvantages.

itallthepeoplerefusedtobevolunteers,thepeoplesufferedfromthemay12earthquakecouldloseheartandmostofthemwouldnthavethechancetosurvivefromthatdisaster.ifnoneofthepeoplewantedtobeavolunteer,thebeijingolympicgameswouldbeafailure.ifeverypeopledidntfeellikebeingavolunteer,therewouldbenopeoplecleaningtheenvironmentandprotectingthebeautifulsceneryautomatically.itwasterrible!

fromallmentionedabove,volunteersplayaveryimportantpartinourdailylife.tobeavolunteerwillgaingloryforchina.asisbrowtoall,chinesechildrenarealwayslaughedatforlackofpractice.sotobeavolunteerisagoodchancetocanpensateforit.

frommypointofview,itshightimethatyoubecameavolunteerandlearnedtohelpothers.ifeveryonemakesacontributiontohelpingothers,theworldwillbemuchmorebeautiful!

atlast,wishyouallthebest!

yourssincerely.

lily.

一篇文章的结构是评判该文章优劣的重要参考标准，但结构显然不够简洁清晰，所以建议作者能在平时多阅读英文报纸上的文章，有意识地观察规范的英语文章是怎样设计结构的。

文章二三段的结构很混乱，建议这样的文章段落都应写成总、分、总的形式更能突出文章的逻辑性，并在“分”的部分也一条一条分开写，而不是都堆在一段内，让人分不清哪句是观点哪句是论证，很混乱。

另外注意同义词的替换已是文章表达更丰富，比如文章中多次出现的帮助他人就都是使用：

helpothers就显得过于单一了~volunteers

李彦妮辽宁省鞍山市鞍山一中10.14班

thereisavividsayingthateverygloriouseventisjustifiablyconnectedwithvolunteerswhoisagroupofpeople,holdingthefundementaltohelpotherswithoutpay-backbenefits.in1993,whenthenewwordburtoutamongsocialsociety,mostofusgaveaslurtoitinconsideringofeconomy.thespecialgroup,however,isjustlikeariver-smallatfirst,containedwithinitsbanks,floodpassionallythenmergedintothesea,forthesenseofmoralconsiderations.andnow,iquitesupporttobeavolunteer.

wecanneverforgetthesemovingscenes:

agroupofadolecentsfrombeijingdashedtothecityofwenchuanwhogaveuptheircomfortablelivingsituationsandpickeduptheheavyburdentosavepeopleburiedintotheground,whileamiddleagedwhitecollarwhothrewawayhiscomputerandsalarycameheretofetchwictimslivesfromthedeath.itisvolunteerswhorushedtothisplacewhichhassufferedfromthecatastrophethatgaveagreathelptothosevictimsinneed.avolunteercansupportapieceofsky,andthisonereasoniameagertojointhem.

作者尽量用到了一些高级词语和句型，表明作者有一定的英语功底，但是小的错误频发，如单词拼写，语法问题，句子逻辑，这在某一方面也表明作者的基本功有待提高，继续努力。

用词准确是写作的基础。

对于学习英语的中国学生来说，背单词扩大词汇量是有必要的，但遗憾的是，学生们背的大都是单词的“外壳”，记的大都是单词的表意或字典提供的大致意思，而基本上忽视了词在语境中的作用和词的“精神”。

这种只记单词表意的学习方法对提高语言的运用能力，特别是写作能力是极其不利的。

letusshine

徐叶子江苏省张家港市张家港外国语学校高二4班

volunteersarejustlikediamondsinthesun,andthediamondsareforever,especiallytheyouth.volunteerworkisjustlikeamiracle.fromthemay12thearthquaketothe2008beijingolympicgames,volunteerworkmadeunbelievablecontributions.

60yearsagoourcountrywassetup,todaywewillcelebrateits60thbirthday.inthisprocess,volunteerworkdi