69范文欣赏Word文档下载推荐.docx
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69范文欣赏Word文档下载推荐.docx
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8分:
论点新颖、别具一格,就是8分。
或者论点一般,但十分切题,语言很漂亮,令人印象深刻。
也是8分(不过一般这样也可以给7分)。
Somepeoplethinkthefunctionofuniversityeducationistopreparestudentsfortheirfutureemployment.However,othersbelievethatitmusthaveotherimportantfunctions.Discussandindicatewhatotherfunctionstheuniversityeducationcanprovide.
Someholdthatthefunctionofuniversityorcollegeeducationistohelpstudentstogetreadyfortheirfuturepaying-job.Whileothersconsiderthattheuseofuniversityorcollegeeducationismorethanthemerefunction.AsfarasIamconcerned,universitymusthaveotherimportantfunctionsinmanyaspects.
Thereisnodoubtthatwegotouniversitytoimproveourskillsandabilityoncopingwiththethingsthatwouldhappeninourfuturejob.Butoncampusitisnottheonlyfunction.Becauseuniversityisnotonlytheplaceonlytostudyinbutisapartofsocietywherewecouldlearnhowtocommunicatewitheachotheranddevelopourselves’personality.
Whicheveruniversitiesorcollegesareintheworldarecomposedwithpeopleandbuildings.Theyarejustlikeasmallsocietyandwecantakeadvantageofthemtomakefriendswithallkindsandbackgrounds.Howwecouldkeepthefriendshipisoneoffunctionweshouldlearnintheuniversitybeforewegotothetruesocietytohuntourcareer.Therefore,oneofthefunctionsofuniversityeducationisthatwecouldenlargeourrelationshipintheuniversity.
Honestisalsoanotherfunctionthatwecouldlearnintheuniversityorcollege.Beforewetaketheexam,wehavetopromisethatwewillnotcheatingduringdetestandwhensomeoneiscaughtforcheating,he(orshe)willbepunishedstrictly.Honestisoneofthebasicprinciplesforeachperson.
Universityorcollegeisnotjustaplaceforstudentsonlytopreparetheirfutureemploymentbutaplacethatstudentscouldlearnhowtomakefriendsandbehonesty.
(285words)
得分:
6分
文章结构很清晰,5段作文,首段和尾段分别是总起和总结;
文章句与句间的衔接处理地很一般,没有什么连接词来表达上下句的关系;
从语言方面来说,文章总体的语言水平尚可,句子很容易理解,但是也有很多语法错误,如Whicheveruniversitiesorcollegesareintheworldarecomposedwithpeopleandbuildings就写得很莫名。
此外,文章的措辞很有限,没有什么同义词或词组的变换,句型也一般,没有太精彩的好句。
Foodcanbeproducedmuchmorecheaplytodaybecauseofimprovedfacilitiesandbettermachinery.However,someofthemethodsmaybedangeroustohumanhealth,andmayhavenegativeeffectsonlocalcommunity.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?
Asscienceinlifeprosper,amajorityofgoodsproducedbyhightechnologyhasbeenbroughttothespotlight.Somepeople,therefore,reckonthatseveralsortsofmethodthroughwhichfoodareproducedhavenegativeeffectsonpeoples’healthaswellaslocalcommunity.AsfarasIamconcerned,thisargumentisquiettrue.
Themainreasonusuallygiveninfavorofhightechnologyusingonfoodbringingnegativeeffectsisthatthefertilizer.Farmersallanticipatetheircropscangrowwell.However,floodorheavyrainmaystopcropsfromgrowingupwhichlessentheprofitsandfertilizerwhichconsistsofspecialelementsexceptnormalonescanhelpcropsgrowwellbutthesesortsofelementsalwaysdoharmtoourhumans’healthifweabsorbthem.
Asecondargumentbyadvocatesofthisphenomenonisthatitcanbringanegativeimpressionofthesociety.Governmenthastherighttoimpedefoodfrombeingproducedbyimprovedfacilitiesandbettermachinerysoastoprotectcitizens’health.Incontrast,ifgovernmentconnivesthisphenomenon,citizenswillnottrusttheirgovernmentandgovernmentwilllosepeoples’trustworthiness.
Nonetheless,itispointedoutbyopponentsoffoodbeingproducedbyhightechnologyisagoodmethodsaythatitcanincreasequantitiesandqualitiesofgoodssoastodecreasethehighpriceofgood,andhelpsretailerstomakemoreprofitsandlessprimecost.What’smore,muchmorepeoplecantastemoresortsoffoodwithalowprice.
Toreiterate,thoughfoodproducedbyhightechnologyhassomeadvantages,IfeelthismethodtocultivatefoodhasmoremajordemeritsandwhyIprefertoimpedethiscomportment.(282words)
这篇文章虽然得了6分,但却是具有7分的潜质的文章。
乍一看,文章的词汇和句型都有一定的功底,第一印象感觉是7分档次,但是仔细分析发现在语法上有严重欠缺,如Themainreasonusuallygiveninfavorofhightechnologyusingonfoodbringingnegativeeffectsisthatthefertilizer。
这个句子前半句中using应该改成used,这是非谓语动词使用错误,后半句中that引导的应该是个从句,而文章却只写了thefertilizer,属于句子不完整,是严重错误。
按理来说,文章整体的词汇和句型不错,若犯了一些小毛小病,则仍然属于7分的档次,但是这篇文章中由于细小错误和少量严重错误并存,所以降到了6分这个档次。
Moreandmorepeopleusingmobilephoneandcomputerinsteadofletters.Willletterdisappearcompletely?
Agreeordisagree?
Howimportantisletterwriting?
Itisdemonstratedbyarecentsurveythattheuseofmobilephoneandcomputeraredramaticallyincreased.Incontrast,theuseofwrittenletterissharplydecreased.Somepeopledeemthatifthesituationdeteriorates,letterwritingwillcompletelydisappear.Frommypointofview,Ipartlyagreewiththisargument.
Onemajorreasonforthisphenomenonisthatastheadvancedtechnologydevelopsrapidly,mobilephoneandcomputerplayanimportantpartofourdailylife.Wecanmakephonecallstoourfriends(at)anytime.Inaddition,mobilephoneisagoodmethodofhelpingourselvesifweareinemergency.What’more,computerhaswidespreadrepercussionforthewholesociety.Itcandoaplentyofthingsjustlikestoringthemajorityofinformation,calculatingacomplexmathproblem,andbringingentertainmenttoourlives.Themostimportantfunctionofthecomputeristohelppeoplechatmoreconvenientlythroughtheinternet.
Anotherreasonusedtojustifytheimportanceofmobilephoneandcomputeristhattheyarethewitnessesofthedevelopmentofscienceandsociety.Asweallknow,thefastermobilephoneandcomputerdevelopthewiderhumanbeingsmakesteptoimprovethesociety.
Itisundoubtedlythatthewrittenletterhasgreatrepercussionforthewholesociety.Itisanecessarymethodtocontinueourhistory.Calligraphy,onesortofhandwriting,iswellknownforitslong-standinghistoryandpeopleallovertheworldprefertolearnit.What’smore,oldpeoplewhooccupyalargeproportionoftheworldpopulationareunfamiliarwithhightechnology,whichmakewrittenlettermoreimportantforthemtocommunicatewithothers.
Weighingupthereasonspresentedabove,Ireachtheconclusionthattheuseofwrittenletterwillgraduallydecreasedbutitwillnotdisappearcompletelyoneday.(304words)
7分
文章结构很清晰,5段式的作文,首段和尾段分别是总起和总结,当中3段为主体段。
文章用了适当的连接词,如what’smore,inaddition等,使得句与句之间更有连贯性。
从语言方面来讲,词汇比较突出一点,有一些亮点词汇,如havegreatrepercussionfor,deteriorate等,总体感觉词汇有一定的宽度。
句型方面尚可,有一定变化,但不多。
仍然有一些语法错误,如Asweallknow,thefastermobilephoneandcomputerdevelopthewiderhumanbeingsmakesteptoimprovethesociety以及Themostimportantfunctionofthecomputeristohelppeoplechatmoreconvenientthroughtheinternet.等,这些错误都很明显,但不影响理解。
Someteacherssaystudentsshouldbeorganizedintogroupstudy.Othersarguethatstudentsshouldbemadetostudyalone.Discussthebenefitsofbothandstatethemoreeffectivemethodinyouropinion.
Thedebateoverwhetherstudyingingroupissuperiortostudyingalonehaslongbeenunderquestionandeducationalexpertsaredeeplydividedoverthisissue.Fromanobjectiveperspective,I’mstronglyconvincedthatbothmethodshavetheirownsuperiorities.(40words)(此段第一句对原题的改写并引题,最后一句表达中立的观点。
2句话40词,在实际考试中是最适用且能拿考分的第一段写法)
Oneofthemajorsuperioritiesofgroupstudyisthatitprovidesanenvironmentinwhichstudentscanexchangeideaswitheachother.Itiswellknownthatknowledgeknowsnobounds,soitisalmostimpossibleforevenaneminentprofessoratuniversitytohaveagoodcommandofeverything,letaloneanordinarystudent.Inconsequence,studentsshouldbedividedintodifferentgroupsorclassessothattheycancommunicatewith,learnfromandhelpeachother.(78words)(此段是分析studyingingroup的第一个优点,第一句是主题句,直接表明观点,随后的都是支持句,进一步分析为什么学生要在一起学习互相交流想法)
Anotherobviousadvantageofstudyingingroupisthatstudentshavetheopportunitytolearntosocializewithothers.Manysociologistspointoutthatpeopleinmodernsocietyaremoreisolatedthanthoseinancienttimesmainlybecausetheydonothaveenoughopportunitiestogetalonewithothers.Undersuchcircumstances,itisunreasonabletodeprivethestudentsofthechancetosocializebyarrangingthemtostudyalone.(70words)(此段从一个方面提出了学生一起学习的好处,第一句同样是主题句,后面也同样的是支持句,对主题句进一步展开讨论)
Weshouldnot,notwithstanding,overlookthefactthatstudyingalonealsohasitsuniquemerit----effectiveness.Inabigclass,topstudentsmightfeelboredbecausetheteacherdoesnotgivethemenoughmaterialtolearnwhereaspoorstudentsmightfeeljusttheoppositebecausetheteachergivesthemtoomanymaterialstodigest.Inotherwords,theteacherusuallyslowsdowntherateofprogressorreducesthecontentofhislessoninthelightofstudentswithlowerability.(81words)(按题目要求,这一段是讲了独立学习的好处而不是它的坏处)
Comparingthebenefitsofbothsides,Ideemgroupstudymoreeffectiveonlyiftheclassorgroupisnottoobig.(22words)(由于上文分析得很详尽,因此最后一段只要表达出哪种方法更为有效即可)
8分
黑体部分为全文的亮点,作者把课堂上所学到的好词好句全都用上了,而且感觉很流畅;
全文的观点清晰,句型多样,词汇有宽度,基本没有任何明显错误;
这篇例文,不论是从语言和内容,还是文章的篇幅来讲,都比较适合实战中使用,是一篇既实际又优秀的范文。
Peoplehaveshowntheirselfishnessandgreedinmodernsociety.Therefore,somepeoplewouldliketogobacktothosetraditionalsocieties.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?
Manypeoplenowmakevariouscomplaintsaboutmodernsociety,especiallypeople’sselfishnessandgreed.Someofthemevenarguethattheywouldliketogobacktothosetraditionalsocieties.Obviously,thisopinionisratherarbitrary.(36words)(开头摆出一些人的观点,然后引入个人观点。
)
Tobeginwit
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