Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量文档格式.docx
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Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量文档格式.docx
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Andshesaid,"
Well,Isawyouspeak,
andI'
mgoingtocallyouaresearcher,Ithink,
butI'
mafraidifIcallyouaresearcher,noonewillcome,
becausethey'
llthinkyou'
reboringandirrelevant."
(Laughter)AndIwaslike,"
Okay."
ButthethingIlikedaboutyourtalk
isyou'
reastoryteller.
SoIthinkwhatI'
lldoisjustcallyouastoryteller."
Andofcourse,theacademic,insecurepartofme
waslike,"
You'
regoingtocallmeawhat?
mgoingtocallyouastoryteller."
AndIwaslike,"
Whynotmagicpixie?
(Laughter)
Iwaslike,"
Letmethinkaboutthisforasecond."
Itriedtocalldeeponmycourage.
AndIthought,youknow,Iamastoryteller.
maqualitativeresearcher.
Icollectstories;
that'
swhatIdo.
Andmaybestoriesarejustdatawithasoul.
AndmaybeI'
mjustastoryteller.
AndsoIsaid,"
Youknowwhat?
Whydon'
tyoujustsayI'
maresearcher-storyteller."
Andshewent,"
Haha.There'
snosuchthing."
SoI'
maresearcher-storyteller,
mgoingtotalktoyoutoday--
we'
retalkingaboutexpandingperception--
Istheresomethingaboutme
that,ifotherpeopleknowitorseeit,
thatIwon'
tbeworthyofconnection?
ThethingsIcantellyouaboutit:
it'
suniversal;
weallhaveit.
Theonlypeoplewhodon'
texperienceshame
havenocapacityforhumanempathyorconnection.
Noonewantstotalkaboutit,
andthelessyoutalkaboutitthemoreyouhaveit.
Whatunderpinnedthisshame,
this"
mnotgoodenough,"
--
whichweallknowthatfeeling:
mnotblankenough.I'
mnotthinenough,
richenough,beautifulenough,smartenough,
promotedenough."
Thethingthatunderpinnedthis
wasexcruciatingvulnerability,
thisideaof,
inorderforconnectiontohappen,
wehavetoallowourselvestobeseen,
reallyseen.
AndyouknowhowIfeelaboutvulnerability.Ihatevulnerability.
AndsoIthought,thisismychance
tobeatitbackwithmymeasuringstick.
mgoingin,I'
mgoingtofigurethisstuffout,I'
mgoingtospendayear,I'
mgoingtototallydeconstructshame,
mgoingtounderstandhowvulnerabilityworks,
mgoingtooutsmartit.
SoIwasready,andIwasreallyexcited.Asyouknow,it'
snotgoingtoturnoutwell.
Youknowthis.
So,Icouldtellyoualotaboutshame,
dhavetoborroweveryoneelse'
stime.
Buthere'
swhatIcantellyouthatitboilsdownto--
andthismaybeoneofthemostimportantthingsthatI'
veeverlearned
inthedecadeofdoingthisresearch.
Myoneyear
turnedintosixyears:
thousandsofstories,hundredsoflonginterviews,focusgroups.
Atonepoint,peopleweresendingmejournalpagesandsendingmetheirstories--
thousandsofpiecesofdatainsixyears.
AndIkindofgotahandleonit.
Ikindofunderstood,thisiswhatshameis,
thisishowitworks.
Iwroteabook,
Ipublishedatheory,
butsomethingwasnotokay--
andwhatitwasisthat,
ifIroughlytookthepeopleIinterviewed
anddividedthemintopeople
whoreallyhaveasenseofworthiness--
that'
swhatthiscomesdownto,
asenseofworthiness--
theyhaveastrongsenseofloveandbelonging--andfolkswhostruggleforit,
andfolkswhoarealwayswonderingifthey'
regoodenough.Therewasonlyonevariable
thatseparatedthepeoplewhohave
astrongsenseofloveandbelonging
andthepeoplewhoreallystruggleforit.
Andthatwas,thepeoplewhohave
believethey'
reworthyofloveandbelonging.
That'
sit.Theybelievethey'
reworthy.
Andtome,thehardpart
oftheonethingthatkeepsusoutofconnection
isourfearthatwe'
renotworthyofconnection,
wassomethingthat,personallyandprofessionally,
IfeltlikeIneededtounderstandbetter.
SowhatIdid
isItookalloftheinterviews
whereIsawworthiness,whereIsawpeoplelivingthatway,
andjustlookedatthose.
Whatdothesepeoplehaveincommon?
Ihaveaslightofficesupplyaddiction,
butthat'
sanothertalk.
SoIhadamanilafolder,andIhadaSharpie,
andIwaslike,whatamIgoingtocallthisresearch?
Andthefirstwordsthatcametomymind
werewhole-hearted.
Thesearewhole-heartedpeople,livingfromthisdeepsenseofworthiness.
SoIwroteatthetopofthemanilafolder,
andIstartedlookingatthedata.
Infact,Ididitfirst
inafour-day
veryintensivedataanalysis,
whereIwentback,pulledtheseinterviews,pulledthestories,pulledtheincidents.What'
sthetheme?
What'
sthepattern?
Myhusbandlefttownwiththekids
becauseIalwaysgointothisJacksonPollockcrazything,
whereI'
mjustlikewriting
andinmyresearchermode.Andso
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