Ted 演讲稿 脆弱的力量.docx
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Ted 演讲稿 脆弱的力量.docx
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Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量
BreneBrown:
Thepowerofvulnerability
So,I'llstartwiththis:
acoupleyearsago,aneventplannercalledme becauseIwasgoingtodoaspeakingevent. Andshecalled,andshesaid, "I'mreallystrugglingwithhow towriteaboutyouonthelittleflier." AndIthought,"Well,what'sthestruggle?
" Andshesaid,"Well,Isawyouspeak, andI'mgoingtocallyouaresearcher,Ithink, butI'mafraidifIcallyouaresearcher,noonewillcome, becausethey'llthinkyou'reboringandirrelevant." (Laughter)AndIwaslike,"Okay." Andshesaid,"ButthethingIlikedaboutyourtalk isyou'reastoryteller. SoIthinkwhatI'lldoisjustcallyouastoryteller." Andofcourse,theacademic,insecurepartofme waslike,"You'regoingtocallmeawhat?
" Andshesaid,"I'mgoingtocallyouastoryteller." AndIwaslike,"Whynotmagicpixie?
" (Laughter) Iwaslike,"Letmethinkaboutthisforasecond." Itriedtocalldeeponmycourage. AndIthought,youknow,Iamastoryteller. I'maqualitativeresearcher. Icollectstories;that'swhatIdo. Andmaybestoriesarejustdatawithasoul. AndmaybeI'mjustastoryteller. AndsoIsaid,"Youknowwhat?
Whydon'tyoujustsayI'maresearcher-storyteller." Andshewent,"Haha.There'snosuchthing."(Laughter) SoI'maresearcher-storyteller, andI'mgoingtotalktoyoutoday-- we'retalkingaboutexpandingperception-- andsoIwanttotalktoyouandtellsomestories aboutapieceofmyresearch thatfundamentallyexpandedmyperception andreallyactuallychangedthewaythatIliveandlove andworkandparent.
Andthisiswheremystorystarts. WhenIwasayoungresearcher,doctoralstudent, myfirstyearIhadaresearchprofessor whosaidtous, "Here'sthething, ifyoucannotmeasureit,itdoesnotexist." AndIthoughthewasjustsweet-talkingme. Iwaslike,"Really?
"andhewaslike,"Absolutely." Andsoyouhavetounderstand thatIhaveabachelor'sinsocialwork,amaster'sinsocialwork, andIwasgettingmyPh.D.insocialwork, somyentireacademiccareer wassurroundedbypeople whokindofbelieved inthe"life'smessy,loveit." AndI'mmoreofthe,"life'smessy, cleanitup,organizeit andputitintoabentobox." (Laughter) AndsotothinkthatIhadfoundmyway, tofoundacareerthattakesme-- really,oneofthebigsayingsinsocialwork is,"Leanintothediscomfortofthework." AndI'mlike,knockdiscomfortupsidethehead andmoveitoverandgetallA's. Thatwasmymantra. SoIwasveryexcitedaboutthis. AndsoIthought,youknowwhat,thisisthecareerforme, becauseIaminterestedinsomemessytopics. ButIwanttobeabletomakethemnotmessy. Iwanttounderstandthem. Iwanttohackintothesethings Iknowareimportant andlaythecodeoutforeveryonetosee.
SowhereIstartedwaswithconnection. Because,bythetimeyou'reasocialworkerfor10years, whatyourealize isthatconnectioniswhywe'rehere. It'swhatgivespurposeandmeaningtoourlives. Thisiswhatit'sallabout. Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoutalktopeoplewhoworkinsocialjusticeandmentalhealthandabuseandneglect, whatweknowisthatconnection, theabilitytofeelconnected,is-- neurobiologicallythat'showwe'rewired-- it'swhywe'rehere. SoIthought,youknowwhat,I'mgoingtostartwithconnection. Well,youknowthatsituation whereyougetanevaluationfromyourboss, andshetellsyou37thingsyoudoreallyawesome, andonething--an"opportunityforgrowth?
" (Laughter) Andallyoucanthinkaboutisthatopportunityforgrowth,right?
Well,apparentlythisisthewaymyworkwentaswell, because,whenyouaskpeopleaboutlove, theytellyouaboutheartbreak. Whenyouaskpeopleaboutbelonging, they'lltellyoutheirmostexcruciatingexperiences ofbeingexcluded. Andwhenyouaskpeopleaboutconnection, thestoriestheytoldmewereaboutdisconnection.
Soveryquickly--reallyaboutsixweeksintothisresearch-- Iranintothisunnamedthing thatabsolutelyunraveledconnection inawaythatIdidn'tunderstandorhadneverseen. AndsoIpulledbackoutoftheresearch andthought,Ineedtofigureoutwhatthisis. Anditturnedouttobeshame. Andshameisreallyeasilyunderstood asthefearofdisconnection:
Istheresomethingaboutme that,ifotherpeopleknowitorseeit, thatIwon'tbeworthyofconnection?
ThethingsIcantellyouaboutit:
it'suniversal;weallhaveit. Theonlypeoplewhodon'texperienceshame havenocapacityforhumanempathyorconnection. Noonewantstotalkaboutit, andthelessyoutalkaboutitthemoreyouhaveit. Whatunderpinnedthisshame, this"I'mnotgoodenough,"-- whichweallknowthatfeeling:
"I'mnotblankenough.I'mnotthinenough, richenough,beautifulenough,smartenough, promotedenough." Thethingthatunderpinnedthis wasexcruciatingvulnerability, thisideaof, inorderforconnection
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