第九季.docx

第九季.docx

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第九季

901TheOneWhereNoOneProposes

[Scene:

Rachel'sRoom,JoeymovesRoss'scoattogetthetissuesRachelwantsandtheengagementringboxMrs.Gellergavehimfallsoutofthepocketitwasinside.Joeygoestooneknee,picksupthebox,opensit,andseesthatit'sanengagementring.]

Rachel:

Joey.

（HeturnstofaceRachelononekneewiththeboxopen.）

Rachel:

（seeingthering）OhmyGod.（Pause）Okay.

（Joeyisstunned.）

[CuttoRossgettingofanelevatorcarryingabouquetofflowersandwalkingdownthehalltoRachel'sroom.]

[CutbackintoRachel'sroom.]

Rachel:

Souh-Iguessweshould-makeitofficialhuh?

Joey:

Uh-LookRach-（Rossenters.）HeyRossishere!

Heylook!

It'smygoodfriendRoss.HeyRoss.

Ross:

HeyJoey.（ToRachel）Heyyou.

Rachel:

Heyyou.

Joey:

Heyandlookhebroughtflowers.ThanksRoss,butI'mreallymoreofacandyguy.（Laughs.）

Ross:

You'reweirdtoday.（HeturnstoRachelandJoeyputstheringback.）（ToRachel）ListenIuh,wantedtotalktoyouaboutsomething.

Rachel:

Uhyeah,actuallyIkindaneedtotalktoyoutoo.

Ross:

UhJoey,canyougiveusjustaminute?

Joey:

No.

Ross:

What?

Joey:

Oh,I'msorry.Imeantno.

Monica:

（enteringwitheveryoneelseincludingMr.Geller）Hi!

Heylookwho'shere!

Mr.Geller:

Where'smygranddaughter?

I'vebeenpracticingmymagictricks.

Chandler:

Hepulledaquarteroutofmyear!

Ross:

Hey,where'suh,where'smom?

Mr.Geller:

ShewenttopickupAuntLiddy.

Monica:

Oh,AuntLiddy'scoming?

Thatmeanswegetfivedollarseach!

Mr.Geller:

SowhendoIgettomeetEmmaandshowherthis?

（Pullsabouquetofflowersoutofhissleeve.）

Chandler:

Okay.Wow.

Ross:

UhDad,Emma'sinthenursery.I'lltakeyounow.Ifyouwant,but（ToRachel）Ireallywanttotalktoyou.

Rachel:

Iknow,Istillneedtotalktoyou.

Joey:

Ohheybut,beforeyouguysdothat（ToRachel）Ineedtotalktoyou,andRoss,Ineedtotalktoyou.

Phoebe:

（ToMonica）OhandIneedtotalktoyou.

Monica:

Aboutwhat?

Phoebe:

Toseeifyouknowwhattheseguysaretalkingabout.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

OutsidetheNursery,everyonebutRachelisstandingandlookingintothewindow.]

Monica:

Isn'tshebeautiful?

Mr.Geller:

Lookather,myfirstgrandchild.

Ross:

WhataboutBen?

Mr.Geller:

WellofcourseBen,Imeantmyfirstgranddaughter.（ToMonica,mouths）Wow.

Phoebe:

（takingRossaside）Haveumm,haveyouthoughtanymoreaboutyouandRachel?

Ross:

Ohwellyeah,actuallyIwasgoingtotalktoherwhenyouguysallcameintheroom.

Phoebe:

Yay!

It'ssoexciting!

Wow,youcould'vedonethatwithusthere.

Ross:

Yeahright.

Phoebe:

Ohsureokay,youcantouchyourselfinfrontofusbutyoucan'ttalktoRachel.

Ross:

What?

!

WhenhaveIevertouchedmyselfinfrontofyouguys?

Phoebe:

Ohplease!

Justbeforewhenyouwereasleepinthelounge!

ThatArmenianfamilywaswatchingyouinsteadoftheTV.Oh,thatremindsme.ThatMr.HasmejestillhasmyGameboy.

Joey:

（takingChandleraside）HeyChandler,canItalktoyouforasecond?

Chandler:

Sure.

Joey:

DudeIjustdidsomethingterrible.

Chandler:

Thatwasyou?

!

IthoughtitwasJack!

Joey:

No!

No,thatwasJack!

RachelthinksIaskedhertomarryme!

Chandler:

What?

!

Whydoesshethinkthat?

Joey:

BecauseitkindalookedlikeIdid.

Chandler:

Again,what?

!

Joey:

Okaywell,Iwasdownononekneewiththeringinmyhand-

Chandler:

Asweallareatsomepointduringtheday.

Joey:

Itwasn'tmyring!

ItfelloutofRoss'sjacket!

AndwhenIkneltdowntopickitupRachelthoughtIwasproposing!

Chandler:

Rosshadaring?

!

Andhewasgonnapropose?

Joey:

Iguess.

Chandler:

Andyoudiditfirst?

!

Thisisgonnakillhim!

Youknowhowmuchhelovestopropose!

Joey:

Iknow!

Iknowit'sawful.

Chandler:

Well,whatdidshesay?

Joey:

（happily）Shesaidyes.

Chandler:

DoesRossknow?

Joey:

OhGod,whatthehellamIgoingtotellhim?

Chandler:

Wellmaybeyoudon'thavetotellhimanything.

Joey:

Oh,Ilikethat.Yeah-

Chandler:

IfyouclearthingsupwithRachelthenRossneverneedstofindout,butyouhavetodoitnowbeforehehearsaboutitandkicksyourass!

Joey:

（laughs）Nowlet'snotgetcarriedaway.（HewalksawayasMonicacomesoverandhugsChandlerfrombehind.）

Monica:

Iwantababy.

Chandler:

Honey,we'vebeenoverthis.Ineedtobefacingtheotherway.

Monica:

Comeon!

Comeon,ifwehavesexagainit'lldoubleourchancesofgettingpregnant.Doyouthinkthatcloset'sstillavailable?

Chandler:

I'msotired.（Shestartskissinghim.）Yeahokay,butnoforeplay.

Monica:

Deal!

[Backinfrontofthenurserywindow.]

Ross:

Dadseriously!

Y'knowyoureallyshouldseesomeoneaboutthat!

Mr.Geller:

Noted.

Ross:

IwannagotalktoRachelforaminute,areyougonnabeokayaloneforabit?

Mr.Geller:

Areyoukiddingme,Icouldstayandlookatherforever.

Ross:

（noticingsomething）Actuallyumm-（HeturnsMr.Geller'sheadtolookatEmma.）

[Scene:

Rachel'sRoom,Phoebeisentering.]

Phoebe:

Hey!

Rachel:

Hi.

Phoebe:

Areyouallright?

Rachel:

Uhh-IthinkIjustgotengaged.

Phoebe:

OhmyGod!

Hedidit?

Rachel:

Well-didyouknowhewasgonnaaskme?

Phoebe:

Areyoukidding?

I'mliketheonewhotalkedhimintoit.Iliketothinkofmyselfasthepuppetmasterofthegroup.

Rachel:

Andyoureallythinkthisisagoodidea?

Phoebe:

Ijusttalkedhimintoit,don'ttellmeIhavetodoyoutoo.Thepuppetmastergetstired,people.

Rachel:

Ijustdon'tknow!

Itjustdoesn'tfeelright.

Phoebe:

Why?

!

Youtwoaresomeanttobetogether,everybodythinksso.

Rachel:

Really?

!

EvenRoss?

Phoebe:

EspeciallyRoss!

Joey:

（entering）Ohuh,heyPheebs.Uhy'knowwhat?

I'll-I'llcomebacklater.（HegoestoleavebutrunsintoRosswho'sentering.）

Ross:

Wow!

Kindofuh,kindofafullhousehere.I'llguessjust-I'llcomeback.（RossexitsfollowedbyJoey.）

Phoebe:

Therehegoes,yourfianc閑.

Rachel:

Iguessso.

Phoebe:

Althoughhedoesplaywithhimselfinhissleep.

Rachel:

Ican'tsaythatI'msurprised.

[Scene:

Ahallway,JoeyandRossfindMr.Gellerwithhisearupagainstajanitor'sclosetdoor.]

Ross:

Dad,whatareyoudoing?

Mr.Geller:

Ithinktherearepeopleintherehavingsex.

（RossturnstolookatJoey.）

Joey:

Itcan'tbeme,I'mstandingrighthere.

Mr.Geller:

Wannapeek?

Ross:

No!

Mr.Geller:

Comeon!

Ross:

Y'knowwhat?

Idon'tlikeyouwithoutmom.（ToJoey）Comeon.（Walksaway.）

Joey:

（ToRoss）We'renotpeeking?

（Followshim.）

Mr.Geller:

WellI'mpeeking.（Hepeeks.）OhmyGod!

Chandler:

Hellosir,youknowMonica.

[Scene:

Rachel'sRoom,sheistakingtheringoutofRoss'sjacket,looksatit,andputsitonherfingerasJoeyenters.]

Joey:

Heyuh,isitokaytocomein?

Rachel:

Ofcourse!

OhJoey,thisringI-it'sbeautiful!

Iloveit!

Joey:

YeahuhlookRach,there'ssomethingIgottatellya.

（There'saknockonthedoorandanurseenterscarryingEmma.）

Rachel:

Hey!

Nurse:

Hey!

Areyoureadytotrynursingagain?

Rachel:

Yeah!

HiEmma.Hey,whydoyouthinkshewon'ttakemybreast?

Nurse:

It'sallrighthoney,ittakessomebabiesawhiletogetit,butdon'tworry.It'llhappen.

Joey:

（watching）Yowsa!

（Looksaway.）

Rachel:

Okaysweetie,youcandoit.Justopenupandputitinyourmouth.

Joey:

DearLord.

Rachel:

I'msorryhoney,whatwereyousaying?

Joey:

Ohuh-uhyeah,Ithinkthat-

Rachel:

Ohlook,she'spullingawayagain!

Doyouthinkmynipplesaretoobigforhermouth?

（Joeygetsembarrassed.）Shelooksscared.Doesn'tshelookscared?

Joey:

Y'know,Idon'treallyknowher.

Nurse:

Whydon'twetrymassagingthebreasttostimulatetheflow.（Doesso.）

Joey:

（ToGod）Areyoukiddingme?

!

Rachel:

It'sjustsofrustrating!

Whydoesn'tshewantmybreast?

!

Joey:

Idon'tknow!

Maybeshe'scrazy!

（Stormsout.）

[Scene:

TheLobby,RossiseatingasandwichasPhoeberushesuptohim.]

Phoebe:

Ohhey!

Waitup!

Ross:

Hi!

Phoebe:

Congratulations!

Ididn'twanttosayanythinginfrontofJoey‘causeIdidn'tknowifheknewyet.

Ross:

What,thatwehadababy?

Comeonlet'sgivehimalittlecredit,althoughhedideatapieceofplasticfruitearlier.

Phoebe:

No!

No,thatyouandRachelareengaged!

Ross:

What?

Phoebe:

Oh,it'sasecret.Ohgoodie!

Yes!

Wehaven'tdonethesecretthinginalongtime.

Ross:

Phoebe,thereisnosecret.Okay?

Ididn'tpropose.

Phoebe:

Areyoulying?

Isthislikethattimeyoutriedtoconvinceusthatyouwereadoctor?

Ross:

（pause）Iamadoctor!

Y'knowwhat?

I'mjustgonnagoandtalktoRachelmyself.

Phoebe:

Allright,metoo.（Theygointoherroomandseethatshe'ssleeping.）Shouldwewakeherup?

Ross:

No!

No,comeonlethersleep!

She'ssoexhausted.

Phoebe:

Andsoengaged.（PointstotheringthatRacheliswearing.）

Ross:

What?

（MotionsforPhoebetogooutsidewithhim.）OhmyGod!

She-shethinkswe'reengaged!

Why?

Why?

Whywouldshethinkwe'reengaged?

!

Phoebe:

Perhapsbecauseyougaveheranengagementring?

Y'knowRoss,doctorsaresupposedtobesmart.

Ross:

Ididn'tgiveherthatring!

Phoebe:

Really?

Ross:

No!

Phoebe:

Sowhoseringisit?

Ross:

It'smine.

Phoebe:

Isitanengagementring?

Ross:

Yes!

Phoebe:

Butyoudidn'tgiveittoher?

Ross:

No!

Phoebe:

Butyouweregoingtopropose?

Ross:

No!

!

Phoebe:

Huh,Imightbelosinginterestinthis.

Ross:

Look.Look,mymomgavemethatringbecauseshewantedmetoproposetoRachel,butallIwantedtodoisseeifshemaybe-kinda-wantedah-tostart-thingsupagain.

Phoebe:

Oh,whatbeautifullukewarmsentiment.

Ross:

Look,Ididn'twanttorushintoanything.Anditseemedlikeshedidn'twanttoeither.ButIdon't,Idon'tunderstandhowanyofthishappened!

What?

Didshefindtheringinmyjacket,assumethatIwasgoingtopropose,throwiton,and-andjus