1008 情景作文游记文化之旅.docx
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1008 情景作文游记文化之旅.docx
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1008情景作文游记文化之旅
第二节(满分20分)
你的英国笔友Tom对中国文化非常感兴趣How。
上周五他来到北京,你利用周末的时间陪他游览。
请根据下面四幅图画的先后顺序,描述你们这两天的活动,并发到你校的英文网站上与大家分享。
注意:
1.文章的开头已为你写好。
2.词数不少于90。
提示词:
三轮车pedicab
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
ForbiddenCity
PalaceMuseum
ImperialPalace
RoyalPalace
Takephotostomemorizethetrip.
要点齐全
补充细节
重点突出
时间状语,连词,保证文章的连贯性,逻辑性
语法现象要丰富,但是要合理,不能为了用而用
用一些比较好的短语,结构
书写,卷面
字:
不大不小,一行12个字
卷面:
黑疙瘩,一条线
最后的升华部分:
尽量有特色。
好的作文要有自己的特点:
unique
两条线:
1.时间线索
通过时间状语来体现:
副词,介宾短语,非谓语动词,从句
2.情感线索
每一幅图都会有情感,
情感:
●可以直接给形容词
●通过人物的行为,表情,语言,肢体语言等体现。
一定要分段
Apossibleversion:
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
OnSaturdaymorning,wevisitedtheForbiddenCity.Tomwasamazedatthissplendidpalaceandtookagreatmanypictures.Laterintheafternoon,wewenttoLaosheTeahousetoenjoyPekingOpera.AlthoughTomdidn’tunderstandthelanguage,heshowedgreatinterestinit.
ToletTomexperiencetheuniqueHutongculture,wehadaHutongtouronSundaymorning.Sittinginthepedicabforthefirsttime,Tomgotreallyexcited.Hewasalsoverycuriousaboutthelifeofthepeoplethere,sowevisitedafamilyandwasluckilyinvitedtohavelunchwiththem.Afterthedeliciousmeal,wewentshoppinginSilkStreet.ThereTomboughtmanygiftsandthenweleftwithgreatsatisfaction.
LaterTomtoldmethathistriptoBeijingwasreallyunforgettable.
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
TheForbiddenCitywasatthetopofmylist,notonlyforhisarchitecturalart,butalsoforthehistoryitrepresents.Whiletakingphotos,Itoldhimabouttheeventsthathappenedthere,thepeoplewholivedthereandthingstheydid.Afterwards,wewenttoLaoSheTeaHouse.Wereadtheintroductionaboutthegreatwriter,LaoShe,andhisfamousplay,TheTeaHouse.
Laterthatday,wevisitedseveralHutongs,onapedicab.Therewechattedwithsomefriendlylocalcitizens,mostofwhomwereelderlypeople,andwewereinvitedtohavelunchwiththemintheirtraditionalChineseyard.
Withgratitude,weleftthealleysandwenttoSilkStreetsothatTomcouldbuysomegiftsforhisfamily.Hedidnotbuyalotofthings.Actually,hewashookedbythoseChinesecrafts.
Happydayspassedrapidly;ourChineseculturetourendedupatSilkStreet.TomwassatisfiedwithhisvisittoBeijingandbothofusarelookingforwardtothenextholidayduringwhichhemaycomeagain.
优点:
书写工整,卷面整洁,要点齐全,内容连贯,语言流畅。
时间线索清晰,情感,用了较为复杂的句式结构,有效地使用了语句之间的连接成分,以使行文连贯。
有适当适度的细节补充
使用了较为复杂的句式结构:
现在分词作状语,定语从句,目的状语从句等。
不足:
全文没有描写Tom的行为,表现,表情,心情的语言,如果能适当增加这类描写,可以增强表达效果。
常耘硕作品——17分(179words)
要点,细节,连贯,语言,语法
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
First,ItookhimtothePalaceMuseum.Atthemomentwegotthere,hewassoexcitedthatherushedoutofthetaxi.Hesaid,“Wow,whatasplendidconstruction!
”,withhisfingerconstantlyclickingthebuttonofthecamera.HewasarealfanofChina.Ithought.
Next,wewenttotheLaoSheTeahouse.“LaoSheisagreatwriterinChinesehistoryandTheTeaHouseisoneofhisremarkablenovels.”Itoldhim.Tomysurprise,hetooknoteofmyintroductioncarefully.Then,wewatchedPekingOperathereandhadawonderfulteameal.
Afterthat,Iinvitedhimtovisithutongbypedicab.Itwasanenjoyabletriptospendourafternooninhutong.Weevenhadamealwithpedicabdriverinhiswarmhutonghouse.
WewenttotheSilkStreetintheevening.Heboughtsomesouvenirsthere.Seeinghissmilingface,Icouldn’thelpthinkingChinesecultureisatreasureofChina;itisourdutytopreserveandspreadittothepeopleallovertheworld.
韩嘉艺作品——14分(187words)
要点齐全,内容连贯,语言流畅。
有效地使用了时间状语,适当增加了细节,使得内容连贯。
如果能在体现文化特色的部分增加一些人物细节描写会效果更好。
卷面还可以更整洁。
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
OurfirstvisitwastheForbiddenCity.Tomwastakingphotosaswewalkedinallthetime.ThebestonehesaidwasapictureoftheImperialPalaceinwhichanancientbuildingwasdreaminginthepeacefulmorningshoweredinthegoldensunlight.ThenwewenttotheTeaHouseofLaoShe,amasterofliteratureinChina,andhappenedtowatchaBeijingOperathere.Thatwaslucky.
Actuallymyarrangementwasoveratthistime,butTomgotabrightidea–hutong!
Icheckedbusesoncellphone,buttheycouldonlygetustonearbyplaces.Andthemysterious“bus”wetookfinallywas–guesswhat—apedicab!
Welaughedallourway.Itwasn’taneverydayexperience,right?
Havinghadlunchwithafamilylivinginhutong,wewenttoSilkStreettoburnallourmoney.DressedinChinesestyleandwithaChinesefaninhand,TomlookedlikeanabsolutefanofChina!
Welaughedandwalkedhome.Whatatiringday!
ButW-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-Ltoo\!
Whatdoyouthink?
葛琪作品——15分(176words)
细节不够多
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
ThefirstsightwastheForbiddenCity.WithmyrichpreparationoutfrombooksandmagazinesofChinesehistory.Itoldhimsomefamoushistoricaleventsofseveraldynastieshappenedhereintheformofseparatestoriesandtenshowedhimaroundtheancientpalace.Oncehestoppedoffatthestepswithsculpteddragons,Iexplainedtohimthatthedragonisthemostpowerfulcreatureaccordingtoancientmythsandhewassoamazedbythesculptureandtookseveralphotosofit.
Afterthat,wewenttotheLaoSheTeaHousetogetsomerelaxationandappreciatingthebeautyofPekingOpera.ThoughTomcouldn’tunderstandthemeaningoftheopera,hewasstillfascinatedbytherhythmandthevariousmasksoftheplay.
Beinga17-year-oldBeijingerandagreatguide,Itookhimonatripinhugontonapedicab.Withbreezeslippingbyourfaces,weadmiredthegreatestviewofoldBeijing.TogethimclosertoourgreatChineseculture,Iinvitedhimtoourhousetotrysomedelicioustraditionaldisheswithmyfamilythenextday.Itwassuchaagreatexperience,thatheevenlearndtousechopsticks.SeeinghisinterestinaChinesefood,Ieventaughthimtomakesome.Finallythenighttimecame,wewenttotheSilkStreetandIhelpedhimgrabsomesouviinirswhichcombinedtypicalChineseelementsjustlikechinaandmasksofPekingOpera.
Timeflew.Itwashardtoexpressthefeelingtowavegoodbyetomyfriend.ThoughtIwasreallytired,Iwassoproudtointroduceourculturetomyforeignfriendsandtotheworld.
谢楚楠作品——18分(284words)
细节扩展的问题怎么扩展,度的把握
连贯问题
Peoplewereveryexcited.How?
Everyonewasontheirfeetinwildapplause.
Whichisbetter?
甚至可以不出现情感的词汇,只是通过描述行为来体现
分段
HeshowedgreatinterestinChineseculture.How?
Hewasabsorbedintheperformances,lettingoutcheersfromtimetotime.
Wehaddinnertogetherandtalkedhappily.How?
Curious,showedcuriosityabout…How?
Thepeoplewerenotcrowded?
拍照,鼓掌,欢呼
尽量不要用引语Tomsaid,还涉及到时态问题
形容词的选择:
Excitedandfullyshocked,Tomtookalotofpicturesthere.
过于笼统,缺乏行为,反应,动作,表情,肢体语言的细节描写description
状语过于单调
Arrivedat/inthere
Wenttohome
LastFriday,mye-palTomcametoBeijing.KnowingthatheisinterestedinChineseculture,Iarrangedaspecialtourforhim.
OnSaturdaymorning,wevisitedtheForbiddenCity.Tomwasamazedatthissplendidpalaceandtookagreatmanypictures.Laterintheafternoon,wewenttoLaosheTeahousetoenjoyBeijingOpera.AlthoughTomdidn’tunderstandthelanguage,heshowedgreatinterestinit.
Wealsointerviewedstudentsfromdifferentclassesandtheiropinionscontributedalottoourproject.Severalweekslater,wepresentedthecompletedstudyreporttothewholeclass,usingvariouschartsanddiagrams.
Wealllovethiskindoflearningstyle,whichhelpsustolearnactivelyandefficiently.
ToletTomexperiencetheuniqueHutongculture,wehadaHutongtouronSundaymorning.Sittinginthepedicabforthefirsttime,Tomgotreallyexcited.Hewasalsoverycuriousaboutthelifeofthepeoplethere,sowevisitedafamilyandwereluckilyinvitedtohavelunchwiththem.Afterthedeliciousmeal,wewentshoppinginSilkStreet.ThereTomboughtmanygiftsandweleftwithgreatsatisfaction.
LaterTomtoldmethathistriptoBeijingwasreallyunforgettable.
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