HOWIMETYOURMOTHER剧本.docx
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HOWIMETYOURMOTHER剧本.docx
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HOWIMETYOURMOTHER剧本
HOWIMETYOURMOTHER剧本
(希望对大家的学习有帮助!
)
HOWIMETYOURMOTHER
1X01-PILOT
OriginalAirdate(CBS):
19/SEP/2005
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SceneOne
[Title:
TheYear2030]
TedNarrator:
Kids,I'mgoingtotellyouanincrediblestory.ThestoryofhowImetyourmother.
Son:
Arewebeingpunishedforsomething?
TedNarrator:
No.
Daughter:
Yeah,isthisgoingtotakeawhile?
TedNarrator:
Yes.(Kidsareannoyed)Twenty-fiveyearsago,beforeIwasdad,Ihadthiswholeotherlife.
(MusicPlays,Title"howimetyourmother"appears)
TedNarrator:
Itwaswaybackin2005.Iwastwenty-sevenjuststartingtomakeitasanarchitectandlivinginNewYorkwithmyfriendMarshall,mybestfriendfromcollege.MylifewasgoodandthenUncleMarshallwentandscrewedthewholethingup.
Marshall:
(Opensring)Willyoumarryme?
Ted:
Yes,perfect!
Andthenyou'reengaged,youpopthechampagne!
Youdrinkatoast!
Youhavesexonthekitchenfloor.Don'thavesexonourkitchenfloor.
Marshall:
Gotit.Thanksforhelpingmeplanthisout,Ted.
Ted:
Dude,areyoukidding?
It'syouandLily!
I'vebeenthereforallthebigmomentsofyouandLily.Thenightyoumet.Yourfirstdate,otherfirstthings.
Marshall:
(laughs)Yeah,sorry.Wethoughtyouwereasleep.
Ted:
It'sphysics,Marshall,ifthebottombunkmoves,thetopbunkmoves,too.Mygod,you'regettingengagedtonight.
Marshall:
Yeah,whatareyoudoingtonight?
(SceneFreezes)
TedNarrator:
WhatwasIdoing?
YourUncleMarshallwastakingthebiggeststepofhislife,andme?
I'mcallingyourUncle,Barney.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttoLater:
Barney'sinthebarbershop,Ted'stalkingfromhome]
Barney:
(onthephone)Hey,soyouknowhowI'vealwayshadathingforhalf-Asiangirls?
Well,nowI'vegotanewfavorite:
Lebanesegirls!
Lebanesegirlsarethenewhalf-Asians.
Ted:
Hey,youwannadosomethingtonight?
Barney:
Okay,meetmeatthebarinfifteenminutes,andSuitup!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SceneTwo
[TheBar]
Ted:
Hey.
Barney:
Where'syoursuit!
?
?
JustoncewhenIsaysuitup,Iwishyou'dputonasuit.
Ted:
Ididthatonetime.
Barney:
Itwasablazer!
Ted:
Youknow,eversincecollegeit'sbeenMarshallandLilyandme.Nowit'sgoingtobeMarshallandLily...andme.They'llgetmarried,startafamily.BeforelongI'mtheweird,middle-agedbachelortheirkidscallUncleTed.
(BarneyhitsTed)
Barney:
Iseewhatthisisabout.HaveyouforgottenwhatIsaidtoyouthenightwemet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttoFlashbackthenightBarneyandTedmet]
[StillintheBar]
(Tedistalkingtoanothercouple;Barneyrandomlyjoinsthemandinterrupts)
Barney:
Ted,I'mgoingtoteachyouhowtolive.(Ted'sshocked)Barney,wemetattheurinal.
Ted:
Oh,right.Hi.
Barney:
Lessonone,losethegoatee.Itdoesn'tlookgoodwithyoursuit.
Ted:
I'mnotwearingasuit.
Barney:
Lessontwo,getasuit.Suitsarecool.(Pointstoselfwithbeerbottleinhand)Exhibit"A".(Flirtstoawomanunseen)Lessonthree,don'teventhinkaboutgettingmarriedtillyou'rethirty.
[Flashbackends]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ted:
Thirty,right.You'reright.Iguessit'sjust,yourbestfriendgetsengaged,youstartthinkingaboutthatstuff.
Barney:
IthoughtIwasyourbestfriend.Ted,sayI'myourbestfriend.
Ted:
You'remybestfriend,Barney.
Barney:
Good!
Andasyourbestfriend,Isuggestweplayalittlegamecalled"HaveyoumetTed?
"
Ted:
Wait.No,no,no.We'renotplaying"HaveYouMetTed?
".
Barney:
(TapsawomannamesYasmine)Hi,haveyoumetTed?
(Leavesandwatchesfromadistance).
Ted:
(ToYasmine)Hi,I'mTed.
Yasmine:
Yasmine.
Ted:
It'saveryprettyname.
Yasmine:
Thanks,It'sLebanese.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SceneThree
[TheApartment]
Marshall:
Hey!
Lily:
Urgh.I'mexhausted.Itwasfingerpaintingdayatschool,andafive-year-oldboy(takescoatoffrevealingapurplehandprintonherrightbreast)gottosecondbasewithme.Wow,you'recooking?
Marshall:
Yes,Iam.
Lily:
Aww...(Theykiss)Areyousurethat'sagoodideaafterlasttime?
Youlookedreallycreepywithouteyebrows.
Marshall:
Icanhandlethis;I'mfullofsurprisestonight.
Lily:
Sothere'smoresurprises?
Likewhat?
TedNarrator:
Marshallwasinhissecondyearoflawschool,sohewasprettygoodatthinkingonhisfeet.
Marshall:
BOOGIDYBOO!
Andthat'sallofthem!
I'mgoannago...cook.(Leaves)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Cuttothebar,TedischattingwithYasmine]
Ted:
I'msohappyforMarshall,Ireallyam.Ijustcouldn'timaginesettlingdownrightnow.
Yasmine:
Sodoyouthinkyou'llevergetmarried?
Ted:
Well,maybeeventually.Somefallday.PossiblyinCentralPark.Simpleceremony,we'llwriteourownvows.But--eh--noDJ,peoplewilldance.I'mnotgoingtoworryaboutit!
Damnit,whydidMarshallhavetogetengaged?
(Yasminelaughs)Yeah,nothinghotterthanaguyplanningouthisownimaginarywedding,huh?
Yasmine:
Actually,Ithinkit'scute.
Ted:
Well,you'reclearlydrunk(pullsherwineglassaway.Holdupglasstobartender)ONEMOREFORTHELADY!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttoKitchenwithMarshallandLily.Lilyhasapanoutsauting,Marshalljumpsoffacountertop]
Marshall:
Okay,lookwhatIgot.(runstothefridge.Takesoutwinebottle)
Lily:
Aw,honey.Champagne!
(handsittoMarshall)
Marshall:
(aftershortsilence)Yeah.(handsitback)
Lily:
(realizing)No,youaretoooldtobescaredtoopenabottleofchampagne!
Marshall:
I'mnotscared.
Lily:
Thenopenit!
Marshall:
Fine.(takesbottle.Looksatitforacoupleofseconds)Pleaseopenit?
(handsittoLily)
Lily:
Youareunbelievable,Marshall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(ScenesplitsinhalfandshowsbothLilyandMarshallontoparguingandTedandYasmineonthebottommingling)
TedNarrator:
Therearetwobigquestionsamanhastoaskinlife.Oneyouplanoutformonths,theotherjustslipsoutwhenyou'rehalfdrunkatsomebar.
Marshall:
(ToLily)Willyoumarryme?
Ted:
(ToYasmine)Youwannagooutsometime?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scenesplitends,andreturnstoLilyandMarshall'sscene)
Lily:
Ofcourse,youidiot!
(hugshimandtheyfallback)
[CuttoScenewithTedandYasmineatbar]
Yasmine:
I'msorry;Carl'smyboyfriend.(pointstobartender)
Ted:
Sup,Carl?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttoSceneinKitchen,MarshallandLilylayupwhileontheground,aftersex]
Marshall:
IpromisedTedwewouldn'tdothat.
Lily:
Didyouknowthere'sapoptartunderyourfridge?
Marshall:
No,butdibs.Where'sthatchampagne?
Iwannadrinkatoastwithmyfiancee.
Lily:
Aww.(claps.Theykiss)
Marshall:
Idon'tknowwhyIwassoscaredofthis.Prettyeasy,right?
(Popscork,hit'sLily'seye)
Lily:
(YELLS)
Marshall:
(coversmouth)OH!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttoScenewithTedandBarney]
Ted:
WhyamIfreakingoutallofasudden?
Thisiscrazy!
I'mnotreadytosettledown.
Barney:
(ignoring)HowdoesCarllandaLebanesegirl?
Ted:
Theplanhasalwaysbeen"don'teventhinkaboutittillyou'rethirty".
Barney:
Exactly.Theguydoesn'tevenownasuit!
Ted:
Plus,Marshall'sfoundtheloveofhislife.EvenifIwasready,whichI'mnot,butifIwasit'slike,"Okay,I'mready!
Whereisshe?
"(SpotsRobin)
TedNarrator:
Andthereshewas.
[Fadeout]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SceneFour
(TheBar,focusingonTedandRobin)
TedNarrator:
Itwaslikesomethingfromanoldmovie.Wherethesailorseesthegirlacrossthecrowdeddancefloor,turnstohisbuddyandsays,"Seethatgirl?
I'mgoingtomarryhersomeday."
Ted:
Hey,Barney,seethatgirl?
Barney:
Oh,yeah.Youjustknowshelikesitdirty.Gosayhi.
Ted:
Ican'tjustgosayhi.Ineedaplan.I'mgonnawaituntilshegoestothebathroom,thenI'llstrategicallyplacemyselfbythejukebox...
Barney:
(toRobin)Hey,haveyoumetTed?
Ted:
Hi.
Robin:
Letmeguess,(points)Ted.
(TedNods)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SceneFive
(Taxionthewaytohospital)
Marshall:
I'msorry,Lily.I'msosorry.Takeustothehospital.
Cabdriver:
Whoa,whoa,whoa.Didyouhither?
(Laughter)
Lily:
Hitme?
Please,thisguycouldbarelyevenspankmeinbedforfun.He'salllike,(hitsiceinbagusingtocovereye)"Oh,didthathurt?
",andI'mlike,"Comeon,letmehaveit,youpansy!
"(realizes)Wow,completestranger.
Cabdriver:
No,no,no,no.It'sokay,goon.(Turnsmeteron.)So,these,uh,spankin',youinpajamasoraunaturel?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CuttobarwithRobin]
Ted:
So,whatdoyoudo?
Robin:
I'mareporterforMetroNews1.
Ted:
(nods)Oh.
Robin:
Well,kindofareporter.Idothosedumblittlefluffpiecesattheendofthenews,youknow.Like,um...monkeythatcanplaytheukulele.I'mhopingtogetsomebiggerstoriessoon.
Ted:
Biggerlike,uh,gorillawithanup-rightbass?
Sorry,you'rereallypretty.(Robinlaughsandwavestoherfriends)Oh,yourfriendsdon'tseemtoohappy.
Robin:
Yeah,see,theoneinthe
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