顾家北微信推送词伙.docx
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顾家北微信推送词伙.docx
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顾家北微信推送词伙
顾家北微信推送词伙2014年6月
【6.30】
Shouldgovernmentsmakedecisionsaboutpeople'slifestyle,orshouldpeoplemaketheirowndecisions?
Thisquestionseemsdifficult,butifyoutake"smoking"asanexampleofalifestylechoice,itbecomesaloteasier.Here'smyparagraph:
Insomecases,governmentscanhelppeopleto make better lifestylechoices. IntheUK, forexample,smokingisnowbanned inallworkplaces,anditisevenprohibitedforpeopletosmokeinrestaurants,barsandpubs. Asaresult,manypeoplewhousedto smoke sociallyhavenowgivenup. Atthesametime,thegovernmenthasensuredthatcigarettepriceskeepgoingup,andtherehavebeenseveralcampaignsto highlightthehealthrisksofsmoking.Thesemeasureshavealsohelpedtoreducethenumberofsmokersinthiscountry.
学习点1:
insomecases引导段落的好处,就是作者暗示这个观点在某些时候有道理,为下面一段的折衷铺垫。
学习点2:
forexample未必要放在句子前头
学习点3:
atthesametime,去替换大家用烂的inaddition,besides
学习点4:
可能也是最大的学习点,就是这个文章的题目本来很难写,非常难以解释,很多学生可能会采取套句和重复的方式凑字,而SIMON选择的方式举例。
你们会发现,SIMON所有提倡的东西都是我说提倡的,因为你们出国就知道,他们就只认可这些,这是他们的文化和习惯!
【6.29】
今天我推送的是一个口语逆袭法在书信写作上的运用。
口语逆袭法在G类信件上的应用
在普通类(generaltraining)中,作文的第一部分是写信,往往需要考生想一个场景,譬如说你要去参加一个课程、你要去辞退工作,等等。
很多同学遇到的问题就是在考场上那么短的时间不能想到很好的故事,这样会影响第二部分的写作。
然而口语逆袭法可以帮助你解决这个问题。
譬如说下面这个话题2014年4月24日的亚洲地区雅思书信题目,写信给上司告诉你要去上课。
有些学生在考场上想不到什么课程,就会很纠结。
然后如果你能够用雅思大作文的思路,就会很容易捕捉到观点。
大作文我们常说的话题:
1 手机 2 学习外语 3 工作压力 4 工作和家庭的平衡 5 儿童的教育 6理财 7 全球化 8 环保技术 等等。
其实都可以是你去参加的课程。
如果你熟悉大作文的这些话题和词伙,那么基本上就是可以偷梁换柱写到信件里。
writealettertoyourmanagerbecauseyouwilltakeathree-daytrainingcourse,andintheletter,yousuggest
Whenisthecourse;
whatcanyoulearn;
whowilltakeyourwork
下面是我的例子:
DearJohn,
Iamwritingthislettertoapplyforthreedays’leave,duringwhichtimeIhopeIcanattendaclassaboutSpanish.
Thecoursewillbedeliveredbyalocallanguageschoolearlynextmonth.Itwillcoincidewitharelativelyshort workingweek ofourcompany,soIamsurethatmyabsencewouldnothavea profoundeffect onmyjobandmycolleagues’.
Thiscourseprovidesmewithopportunitiesto pickup Spanishand,moreimportantly,deepenmyunderstandingof socialnorms andbeliefsofSpanishpeople.AsourcompanyisabouttoexpandtheoperationinSpain,Ifeeltheneedto acquirethislanguage.
IbelievethatAndersoncantakeoverwhenIamonleave.Hehasbeenworkingwithmeforacoupleofyearsandfamiliarwithallmytasksandresponsibilities.
Pleaseinformmeattheearliestdateaboutyourdecision,ifyouapprovemyidea,becausetheplacesarelimitedforthisclass.
Yourssincerely,
Adam
不难看到,我用了雅思大作文常考的话题“学习外语”的一些词伙,这个信件就很轻松写出来了。
这是口语逆袭法的另外一个应用。
【6.28】
Familieswhosendtheirchildrentoprivateschoolsshouldnotberequiredtopaytaxesthatsupportthestateeducationsystem.
Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagreewiththisstatement?
Herearetheirideasfora'completelydisagree'answer:
∙difficulttocalculatethetaxreduction
∙more governmentstaff(公务员) wouldberequiredforthisprocess
∙weallpayfor publicservices (公共服务)thatwemaynotneede.g.police
∙poorerpeoplewouldpaymoretaxthanwealthypeople
∙stateschools (公立学校) benefitthewholeofsociety
∙highqualitystateeducationleadsto equalopportunities (同等的机会) forall
∙awell-educatedworkforce (教育水平很高的员工队伍) isthekeytoa prosperousnation (富贵的国家)
∙companiesneededucatedstaff
∙weshouldallbehappytocontributetopublicservices
[6.27]
今天推送的照片是我记录的上课作业批改的学生。
我知道大家参加我的课程希望得到我的评分、建议还有点评,这是我们一直在做的,也会做的更好。
我想和大家说:
MemorisingessaysdoesnothelpyoutackleIELTS.Wheneveryouuseamemorisedessayorparagraph,youcanregisterforthenextexam.Sostartpractisingandthisistheonlypathwaytosuccess.
Mostparentsbelievethatitisagoodideatoteachchildrenaboutmoney.Whyisitimportantforchildrentolearnaboutmoney?
What'sthebestwayforparentstoteachtheirchildrenaboutmoney?
Manychildrentodayliveinaworldwheretheyareencouragedtospendmoneyonvariousitems,andimprovingtheirability tomanagemoney isimportant.Theyshouldlearnhowtodealwith financialmatters inreallife.
微博抽奖学生的段落
Childrenarewillingtogetnewstaff,insteadofoldones,andthisisaprimarycauseofteachingthemaboutmoney.Whenparentsandtheirchildrengointoastore,childrennormallyrequiretoreceivesomegifts,suchasdollsorLegobricks.Moneyaremeaninglessforthemandtheydonotunderstandthatparentsmustworktoearnmoney,whichmeansthatchildrenshouldawareoftheconceptofmoney.
点评:
这个学生一些语法错误,譬如说requiretoreceivegifts,moneyare,shouldawareof 已经注定拿不到6.5或者7分。
Staff也是比较明显的拼写错误
最后一句话,小孩不知道父母赚钱辛苦,因此就意识不到金钱的概念,没有太大逻辑,破坏了CC的分数
句子结构和扣题尚可。
因此,最后综合得分应该是6分。
我写的段落(8分)
Teachingchildrenaboutmoneycanhelpthemunderstandhowtomakewell-informedbuyingdecisionsandavoidunnecessaryexpenses.Theyouthoftodayareexposedtomanyadvertisementsandencouragedtospendmoneyonadvertisedproductssuchastoys,snacksandelectronicproducts.Theyareinsensitivetopricesanddebt.Unlessparentsteachthemtheimportanceofbalancingspendingandsaving,thesechildrenmaynotbeabletomakeendsmeetinadulthood.
微博学生的文章段落2:
Anotherreasonisthatadultsdonotknowmuchaboutmoney,andbecauseofthis,weencounteredthemortgagecrisis,eventheglobalfinancialcrisisin2008.Debtorsfailtorepaytheirhomeloanpermonthandoweincreditcarddebt.Asaresult,theymaylosetheirentirefortune.Tohelpthenextgenerationavoidthemistakesoftheirelders,itisimportantforchildrentobetaughttheessentialsaboutmoney.
点评:
这个段落和上面一段其实是类似的意思,这段话因此是没有作用的
我写的段落(7.5分)
Anotherreasonisthatchildrenwhohavefinancialliteracycanusemoneyeffectivelytomeettheirneeds.Thosewhogointodebtbecauseofoverspendingmayworkhardtorepaydebtandhavenoenergyfordoinganythingmeaningfulandcreative.Incontrast,thosewhohavethehabitofsavingmoneycandiverttheseresourcestosomeactivitiesthatmaybenefitthemintherestoflife,suchasrunningabusinessorattendingacourse.
Toteachchildrenaboutmoney,parentsshouldturnday-to-dayactivitiesintolearningexperience.Forexample,tripstothebankorATMmachinecanbeagoodopeningforadiscussionaboutparents’valueandhowtheyusemoney.Therefore,pocketmoneyhasprovidedchildrenwithopportunitiestospendmoneywhethertheycopytheirparents’spendingbehaviours.
点评:
这个段落主要的问题是表达,譬如说agoodopening
此外,很多事情也没说清楚,譬如说COPY什么行为,
我写的段落(7.5-8分)
Toincreasechildren’sknowledgeofmoney,parentscanshareinformationaboutfamilyexpenses,forexample,electricitybills,thecostoffoodandalsothespendingonclothingortoys.Childrenwillbeawareofhowtheirbuyingdecisionscanimpactonthefamily’sbudget.Itisalsoimportantforparentstosetagoodexampleforputtingmoneyaside.Theirchildrenwillrealisethesignificanceofcuttingdownonnon-essentialgoods.
微博学生的结论段:
Tosummarise,Ibelievethatmeaninglessmoneytochildrenandadults’badfinancialbehavioursareresponsibleforparentstoteachtheirnextgenerationaboutmoney.Monitoringpocketmoneyspendingbehaviourscanbeusefulforchildrentolearnaboutmoney.
点评:
这个学生在结尾的时候已经有点抓狂,因此写了meaninglessmoney,areresponsiblefor….to…这种表达,
这是很多学生遇到的问题,结尾不想重复,变化的过程中出现了错误。
我写的结尾(7.5-8分)
Inconclusion,teachingchildrenabouthowtosavemoneyorusemoneywiselyispossiblyoneofmanyjobsparentsshoulddoincontemporarysociety.Parentsshouldshowhowmoneycanaffectthefamily’squalityoflife.
[6.26]
Mostparentsbelievethatitisagoodideatoteachchildrenaboutmoney.Whyisitimportantforchildrentolearnaboutmoney?
What'sthebestwayforparentstoteachtheirchildrenaboutmoney?
Manychildrentodayliveinaworldwheretheyareencouragedtospendmoneyonvariousitems,andimprovingtheirability tomanagemoney isimportant.Theyshouldlearnhowtodealwith financialmatters inreallife.
微博抽奖学生的段落
Childrenarewillingtogetnewstaff,insteadofoldones,andthisisaprimarycauseofteachingthemaboutmoney.Whenparentsandtheirchildrengointoastore,childrennormallyrequiretoreceivesomegifts,suchasdollsorLegobricks.Moneyaremeaninglessforthemandtheydonotunderstandthatparentsmustworktoearnmoney,whichmeansthatchildrenshouldawareoftheconceptofmoney.
点评:
这个学生一些语法错误,譬如说requiretoreceivegifts,moneyare,shouldawareof 已经注定拿不到6.5或者7分。
Staff也是比较明显的拼写错误
最后一句话,小孩不知道父母赚钱辛苦,因此就意识不到金钱的概念,没有太大逻辑,破坏了CC的分数
句子结构和扣题尚可。
因此,最后综合得分应该是6分。
我写的段落(8分)
Teachingchildrenaboutmoneycanhelpthemunderstandhowtomakewell-informedbuyingdecisionsandavoidunnecessaryexpenses.Theyouthoftodayareexposedtomanyadvertisementsandencouragedtospendmoneyonadvertisedproductssuchastoys,snacksandelectronicproducts.Theyareinsensitivetopricesanddebt.Unlessparentsteachthemtheimportanceofbalancingspendingandsaving,thesechildrenmaynotbeabletomakeendsmeetinadulthood.
微博学生的文章段落2:
Anotherreasonisthatadultsdonotknowmuchaboutmoney,andbecauseofthis,weencounteredthemortgagecrisis,eventheglobalfinancialcrisisin2008.Debtorsfailtorepaytheirhomeloanpermonthandoweincreditcarddebt.Asaresult,theymaylosetheirentirefortune.Tohelpthenextgenerationavoidthemistakesoftheirelders,itisimportantforchildrentobetaughttheessentialsaboutmoney.
点评:
这个段落和上面一段其实是类似的意思,这段话因此是没有作用的
我写的段落(7.5分)
Anotherreasonisthatchildrenwhohavefinancialliteracycanusemoneyeffectivelytomeettheirneeds.Thosewhogointodebtbecauseofoverspendingmayworkhardtorepaydebtandhavenoenergyfordoinganythingmeaningfulandcreative.Incontrast,thosewhohavethehabitofsavingmoneycandiverttheseresourcestosomeactivitiesthatmaybenefitthemintherestoflife,
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